should i stay or should i go?

[worried36969]

iv been dating this guy for about 2 years now i just had a baby with him over a year ago. he seemed nice at first but then for the past 4 -6 months he's been weird well since my beatuiful so was born he said it wasn't his then i moved he would help me with diapers cloths getting my son a new car seat or doctors, he's always cheated on me. but i still stuck with him. he would hit my son when he was 4 month in the head not hard but a smak cuz he was crying, i told him to stop babys cry thats the only way they can tell you somethigs wrong or they need something. to this day he still dose it, he tells him to "shut up dumb ***" i called him about a week ago and told him a dresser feel on top of my son, and instead of saying is he ok he stars to laugh. he says im fat, i need to dress like this girl or that girl. i mean im not fat but im not skinny. im like 5"2 an 127 i use to be 119 but iv gained some weight but its not like im obesed! lately he's been grabing my thorat when i say ok or i tell him to move then he gets mad cuz i pinch him to let go. he says if i ever cheated on him or do this n dat then he's gunna do something bad to me n my family but he wont tell me wat. i feel like i have to stay cuz he is my sons dad n my son needs to kno who his dad is. my mom tells me my son is better off with out him maybe he is maybe he's not?  any advise would be much apreciated.

[AHP84]

He is physically and emotionally abusive and controlling. He hits his infant son, puts his hands around your throat and threatens you.
Get out now, before he takes his abuse too far and hospitalizes one of you or kills one of you!
If you're scared of him and his threats, go to a women and children's shelter and IMMEDIATELY seek a restraining or protection order.
He can be involved in your son's life when he is no longer a threat to the baby's life. One day he is going to say, "Shut up dumb ***!" while your baby is crying and "smack" him a little too hard in the head and either permanently injure (brain damage) him or kill him.

And do you know that you can potentially get in just as much legal trouble for child abuse as the biological father simply for not protecting your child from him, knowing that you're putting your son in such danger?

[atlasshrugged]

You and your son will be better off without this sperm donor around. There are many men out there who will be a positive influence in your son's life and in yours. Have some respect for yourself, and get the heck out of there! You both deserve better.

[babypooh]

You seriously need to leave him.  He doesn't deserve you or his son.  Someone who loves someone else would never put them down or hurt them the way he does to you.  I cannot imagine anyone calling their own child ugly names like that or laughing because something happened to them.  He's not ready to be a father and he's not ready to be your  man or anyone else's. You deserve better.  Your child deserves better and you'd be doing him a favor if you left his dad.  If your boyfriend is willing to hit your child when he's just a few months old, what do you think is going to happen when he's older?  He's not going to think twice about hitting him or you if he gets mad.  I don't think that's the life you want for your son or for yourself.  You can get out.  There's always a way to make it through.  There is no working it out with this man because he's not going to change!  Love yourself, love your child, grab your pride and walk out the door!  Don't do it when he's there either because he might hurt you or your child.  Get a restraining order against him as soon as you get out because you don't want him to get crazy and really look for you and hurt you.  Leave him a letter if you want and explain that you're not going to tolerate someone mistreating you or your child.  LEAVE HIM!

[Luckejem]

It sounds like this man does not have you in his heart, as if he did, he would not treat the way he does. A man is suppose to love you and make you feel good about yourself. No matter what, so you gained some weight, big woop.. who doesn't, and you did because you gave him a child. He should be kissing the floor you walk on. I ask you not to fool yourself either, it sounds like he has no interest in being father, and that is an issue that cannot be forced on a man. yes, a child should know his father but that is up to the father, you did not need to put up with his **** so he knows his father. I had my son at 15, his father had no interest.. and that was fine with me.. I felt him sticking around would have caused him more harm as the relationship would have been forced.. My son knows he has a biological father out there and he knows he never made an effort to see him and that is ok with him.  He will continue to treat you badly, he will continue to degrade and he will continue to cheat on you as he isin a situation he really does not want to be in. Good luck!

[amyrose0123]

Cheating, abuse......there is no question in my mind GET OUT! You will most definately be better off if for no other reason do it for your son. A baby does not deserve that life and if you choose to stay with this guy that baby is going to grow up and treat women just like his father. If someone treated any of my children that way I would want to die, I would much prefer to live in a cardboard box! I know times are rough and money is always an issue for most of us, but tell that guy to hit the road, not you or your son. Do you have any family that can help you? When a guy grabs you by the throat the chances of you getting killed are 10 times more than if he just hits..........it is wrong of him to treat you and your son that way!