I also agree with the above posters. I would add that perhaps You should seek therapy for YourSelf to understand why You "choose" to be in love with such a Troubled Girl (the age difference is an issue also - She was only 11 years old when You turned 21 !!)
I'm firmly believe that love is a Choice. For some unrealized reason You are CHOOSING to be in love with a GIRL who is:
"10 Years Younger than You"
"has cheated on You"
"has had/is having a lesbian relationship"
"You get angry when You know They are Together"
"You don't fully trust Her"
"It is tearing You up inside"
"You don't know what to do with all the anger inside You"
"She attacked You with a weapon"
"She's attacked You before, but with Her hands"
"She gets drunk"
These are Your words, not mine.
The only Positive thing You said about this Girl is that She's beautiful. The world is full of Beautiful Girls, Beautiful Girls that are less troubled than this and that would treat You better than this. Again, I would suggest You seek therapy to understand Your Willingness to be hurt in this way. You have the Responsibilty for Your Own Happiness - We can't depend on Others to make Us happy - it's on Us to seek Our Own Happiness - I stress once again, We do, We Really, Really Do Have Choice.
Good Luck
I agree with the above posters. You deserve so much more than this craziness.
You're 30, and she's 20. That right there is a serious mismatch.
I wouldn't fall in to the trap of blaming this other lesbian for what your girlfriend is doing, BTW. This is your girlfriend, and she's acting like a flighty silly little girl.
Making up nonsense rules like she can only see this girl she's having sex with twice a week isn't reasonable. She either is in a relationship with you, or she's not, IMHO.
(BTW, there are couples who are happy to allow this very open uncommitted sexual behavior, and that's fine. Since you're not one of them, I think you should get out of this relationship and find a woman instead of this flighty little girl).
I think shes out of control and you seem like a nice person. With all the madness you describe, im wondering why you say in the begining that you were lucky enough to be her boyfriend. She has some indenty issues and if i were you i would find someone more stable. You are very disciplined being an ex army person and feel you need the same type of person in your life. It will only get worse. She as a habit of attacking you and will contine. Please move on as i dont see anything good coming out of this.
Sounds like the girl is a creep if she is having an affair with another girl. Dump her. U dont want her. It will be way better for u in the end#