too clingy

[desert rose]

i am in an relationship and get the feeling that my partner needs more space, whereas i feel that all i am doing is being there for my partner. i do things for her, help out with her daughter...talk....whatever makes her happy...at least i try.it gets more like that when my partner gets calls from friends.....i guess it's then when she realizes that i should get a life ....i have friends and 2 kids that are not around for the weekend,so i guess it's ok to be with her then.
i just feel ok by being around her, i went through a lot in the past and feel content.  have anger issues and am somewhat emotional, so what can i do?

[destiny_09]

my friend is in a relationship which bothers me. she is having an affair with a married man, and both of then love each other madly. but my friend doesnot know the future of this relationship and she wants him to be in her life. she cannot do without him . now the guys  doenot want to tell about tis to his wife saying he cannot be selfish  to hurt someone he has commiited for his own sake. but i know they love each other madly. his wife to him is just his responsibility as he has aa kid. pla suggest what should my frien ddo...should she tell the wife, or wait to let him say or should she end up

[desert rose]

hi... i was away for a few days and that made me feel good, i felt she missed me and i had some time to think. i met an old friend i have not seen for a while and it felt good being in touch again with old friends. i think there is more to it than just wanting space, she has lots on her mind. if you have an email i would rather share things privatly. thanks again for your input, makes me rally feel good. take care.

[mami1323]

Hi, I'm good.  You don't sound too good.  It's hard to sometimes give the other person space, especially when you can't understand why they don't want to spend that time with you.  Sometimes even now when I say to my fiance how come we don't spend time together, he often says, why do we have to be with eachother every minute of the day.  I know that I enjoy being with him and can't understand why he doesn't want the same.  Some people are different.  Either her feelings have changed and she's trying to push you away or she really likes to have her space and you will have to respect that.  I know it's boring but now's the time to try and interact with other people.  We tend to get so involved in our relationships that we let go of our friends or decide not to make new ones.  Then when the relationship goes sour we are left alone.  I made that mistake with my first love.  We were together for 6 years and when we broke up, I had no one because I was always with him.  I never made that mistake again.  You need other people in your life besides her.  They will be your support system, or just be acquaintances that you can have to pass the time away when you're not with her.  I don't know why she is that cold to you, but this is when you need to communicate with her.  Tell her that it bothers you and that if something is bothering her than it's best she tell you rather than ignore you.  If you are still not getting what you need from this relationship than you need to get out.  Even if it hurts you, but you shouldn't have to feel this way when you are with someone.  Keep me posted on how things are going and I'm always here if you need to talk.

[bip]

Go out for the weekend have a good time.....Im sure it's hard for you to do..... I think she should talk to you but some people react different ways.....You sound so sad.........I know you can do it........Like I said go out and have a great time. Need anyone to talk to Im here..........Things will get better.........

[desert rose]

hey how r u? i just wanted to let you know that i am trying to be more distanced and will go away for the weekend without my partner....not sure how boered i will get but i have to start somewhere i guess. it feels empty and lonely....even if i am having fun with others, it just fls sad when she walks in and does not even say a nice word to me...maybe this is being selfish again, maybe she can't take me on the side and say something .

[PlateletGal]

I agree with the other posters'. You know what happens is when one partner becomes too clingy, the other partner tends to feel crowded. I think it is not too healthy to become too clingy --- you may not know it yet, but you need your space as well.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Are you preventing her from spending time with her friends?

How long have you been in the relationship?  

Do you have friends of your own that you enjoy spending time with?

[desert rose]

no not at all, it just would be nice if she was a bit more expressive, but i guess i am learning to relax about that.  we've been togrther for 2 years. i've got friends but as life takes you everyone goes his own way....but i meet people and like to talk and share.

[bip]

Ya, I would back off a little bit. I been with my husband for 13 yrs and We both need space. Don't see her all the time a few times a week.   You don't want to get sick of eachother try to back off a little bit and see how that goes.....

[mami1323]

If you're getting that feeling, than chances are you are right on the money.  If she is showing you signs that you are being too clingy than take the signs for what they are.  Back off of her for a little bit.  Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you have to be with eachother 24/7.  I have been with my fiance for 4 years and there are times that I'm in the room watching tv and he's in the living room on the computer.  We don't need to be on top of eachother and if we were than we would have probably killed eachother by now.  Spend like every 2 days with her or once on the weekend.  Maybe she's just not ready to have that type of relationship.  How long have you two been together?  If you know that you have these types of issues than it doesn't sound to me like you are even ready for a relationship.  Try working on your these things first before putting that pressure on her.  Everyone has been through something in the past, the thing is to not bring past problems into a present relationship.  Why don't you try focusing your attention on yourself, hang out with your friends, get a hobby, anything so that you're not spending all of your energy on her.  Maybe she feels like you need to have interests of your own.  If this relationship were to not work out, it would be a shame that you lost yourself in it.