1 - Tell your brother to step aside, back off and stop interfering in your life.
You don't give too much info on that family caring thing that you have. Are you dedicating too much time to your family instead of spending more time with him? Are you even spending time with him at all?
Why don't you try marriage counseling? It'll do him good to accept the fact that he doesn't own people. Some people are extremely posessive to the point that when they feel like the situation is getting out of control they start getting aggressive and hostile. It is better to leave these cases to a counselor. Have you spoken with him? have you told him what you're telling us? You can start from there see what happens......
you two could go to counseling before things escalate and end up in divorce, thats what i would do