what to do... ?

[sweetpea03]

I feel like I'm torn between two guys. One of them, who is basically my best guy friend, is really sweet. He has been there for me through a lot and I know I can trust him with what I say. Though after he had told me he had a huge crush on me for the longest time, we tried going out and he began acting all weird. He even stood me up on our second date. That was pretty upsetting to me, and I told him we should stay friends.

So then an old coworker asks me to go out on a date with him. And he's a really nice guy too. He won't let me pay for dinner and wants to make sure I'm happy. Though after going out with him on a couple dates, he won't make a move. He says he is so happy and loves going out with me, so I don't get why he won't make the next move.

I feel kinda torn, don't know which guy I'd want to go out with more? go with the first guy, or the second one? or should I just not go out with either? I don't what to do....

[sweetpea03]

I don't see him as being shy. He can be overly confident at times, as he thinks pretty highly of himself. I talked to him about it, well kinda, last night and I think he got the hint.

[vmvnpv]

I really think he likes you.  He's definitely not confused.  He's probably just shy too.  Talk to him about it.

[sweetpea03]

Well the date was fun, but we never kissed. Lots of flirting and touching, as in on the arm and what not, but nothing more than that. I think I'm too shy to make the first move. I can think of, kind of, how I'd do that, but always chicken out. I just want him to make the move...

[peaceinknowing]

Even though it normally isn't your cup of tea to try and make the first move when dating someone, try something along the lines of bringing these feelings you have up in a concersation. It never hurts to ask or discuss something that you feel is important to you and your well being alongside hapiness. I hope this helps, and I hope you stay here with us on the forums to continue filling us in on what happens from here.  <3

[SeriousSam]

Actually at that point I don't think I ever made the first move.  But I am highly proficient @ inuendo and flirfting.

Besides women who are at least somewhat confident enough to reach out to a guy are more attractive and less likely to be a boring doormat and actually participate fully in the relationship.

[vmvnpv]

You won't be cheapening yourself if you make the first move.  I honestly think it's not him being uncertain but that he doesn't want to rush things and scare you off.  There's more guys out there that are just like that.  Especially if he keeps asking you out.  I would think that after the first couple of dates (or even the first one) he would know if he wants to pursue a relationship with you.  After all, you know you already want to take it to the next level.....after just a couple of dates!  Chivalry isn't dead.  He said he really likes you (meaning he isn't unsure about you) and doesn't want you to think he's only out for one thing and one thing only.  I say you try and take it to the next step.  A lot of guys now actually would like the woman to give them the OK by initiating the next step.  If he says no then you have your answer.  But you can't say you didn't try because what if he dumps you anyway because you didn't show interest?  What do you have to lose?  Good luck!

[sweetpea03]

if he's really uncertain, why would he keep asking me out on more dates?? wouldn't he just leave if he didn't like me?

We're going out again tomorrow, so maybe something will happen then....

[Gigger]

When a guy doesn't make the first move, means that deep down inside he is uncertain if he want to pursue by Judy246.

[SeriousSam]

When a guy doesn't make the first move, more often than not if he asked you out he's uncertain what the result/reception will be.  Very few people have looked over the long length of their life and regreted what they did, and the few that do are outnumbered by those who regret what they did not do.

Your not in the 1950's so don't worry about cheapening yourself unless you also have  a maid servant to protect your "virtue"

So far as being uncertain?  At your age few people realisically are not uncertain of themselves!  go for it kiddo!

[Judy246]

When a guy doesn't make the first move, means that deep down inside he is uncertain if he want to pursue....in other words, he might just not be feeling it for you....so, use caution and let him ask you, not you ask him...it doesn't sound like it would be a stabled relationship....caution!

[jo929]

Please do not knock it, feel good that he has not wanted sex right off as some men do just date and count your bessings, just mabe he is Mr right, do not make any moves on him and cheapen yourself   luck  jo

[vmvnpv]

Maybe he's taking it slow because he doesn't know how you feel and doesn't want to scare you off by going too fast.  Try making some hints and maybe he'll get them.

[sweetpea03]

I guess I'm a bit stubborn in that I don't like to make the move. Maybe it's weird that I'd want him to kiss me already, but I want things to move forward. He and I have a lot in common, even though he's 22 and I'm 19.

[SeriousSam]

Why don't you make the next move?

How old are you?