Aa
Still risk
Hello, thank you in advance for helping with my questions!
I'm a bisexual man and have a regular (female) partner. About a week ago I was travelling for business and had a lapse of judgement and had some sexual contact with a man. This has been my only extramarital contact in 12 years of marriage. I feel awful about it, and am struggling with the psychological consequences of my actions.
During my meeting with the man I was rimmed, fingered, there was some fun with toys (his butt plug, which he said had been cleaned thoroughly) and some masturbation. There was no blowjobs or anal sex.
I thought everything was quite low risk (I panicked immediately afterwards and read many posts on this forum). But now, six days later I've developed a sore anus and some diarrhea. I initially thought it was a haemarrhoid from the toy and stretching, but I've gone on to develop a fever.
I already get mouth cold sores so didn't think I could get herpes, which makes me wonder if I have mpox or something like gonorrhea giving me a fever?
I have requested a home testing kit but thought I would hold off another week before sending it, as I think I'm too early to pick up anything on testing?
Please help. I'm avoiding sex with my wife until I know for sure I haven't caught anything, but in jot sure what to do!
I realise I was also flying for business, on the subway etc, so could just as easily have a haemarrhoid and picked up covid (but my covid tests are negative)
I'm a bisexual man and have a regular (female) partner. About a week ago I was travelling for business and had a lapse of judgement and had some sexual contact with a man. This has been my only extramarital contact in 12 years of marriage. I feel awful about it, and am struggling with the psychological consequences of my actions.
During my meeting with the man I was rimmed, fingered, there was some fun with toys (his butt plug, which he said had been cleaned thoroughly) and some masturbation. There was no blowjobs or anal sex.
I thought everything was quite low risk (I panicked immediately afterwards and read many posts on this forum). But now, six days later I've developed a sore anus and some diarrhea. I initially thought it was a haemarrhoid from the toy and stretching, but I've gone on to develop a fever.
I already get mouth cold sores so didn't think I could get herpes, which makes me wonder if I have mpox or something like gonorrhea giving me a fever?
I have requested a home testing kit but thought I would hold off another week before sending it, as I think I'm too early to pick up anything on testing?
Please help. I'm avoiding sex with my wife until I know for sure I haven't caught anything, but in jot sure what to do!
I realise I was also flying for business, on the subway etc, so could just as easily have a haemarrhoid and picked up covid (but my covid tests are negative)
Fingering isn't a risk nor is using sex toys. But being rimmed may pose slight risk. However, it is so low that they don't recommend testing unless you develop actual symptoms.
2 Comments
Would a fever plus diarrhea (and I've just noticed a new spot on my thigh which is painful) count as symptoms?
A fever might, diarrhea wouldn't.
If you are thinking herpes, if you have that orally, it would be really unlikely for you to get hsv1 genitally. Since your only risk for herpes is from the rimming, you'd get genital hsv1, and you have hsv1 already.
You need to see a doctor. Clearly, something is happening - a virus, probably, that you picked up while traveling, but a fever and diarrhea that lingers needs to be checked out. If you still have the sore, you can show your doctor. If he thinks it needs to be cultured, he can do that.
Remember that guilt doesn't equal risk. You feel bad emotionally over this, so your mind will imagine all kinds of things. We see that here on a daily basis.
If you need to test, then test, just to put this behind you, but you really had very little risk.
If you are thinking herpes, if you have that orally, it would be really unlikely for you to get hsv1 genitally. Since your only risk for herpes is from the rimming, you'd get genital hsv1, and you have hsv1 already.
You need to see a doctor. Clearly, something is happening - a virus, probably, that you picked up while traveling, but a fever and diarrhea that lingers needs to be checked out. If you still have the sore, you can show your doctor. If he thinks it needs to be cultured, he can do that.
Remember that guilt doesn't equal risk. You feel bad emotionally over this, so your mind will imagine all kinds of things. We see that here on a daily basis.
If you need to test, then test, just to put this behind you, but you really had very little risk.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
