realize this should be on the HIV forum, but i didn't read the heading until after i posted it.
You're right, this should be on the HIV forum. In deference to your mistake I will answer your question but cannot engage in a dialog at this site. If, after my comments, there are further questions, you will need to re-post on the HIV Prevention site.
HIV risk. Symptoms are simply not helpful in assessing risk for HIV. A serological test is the only reliable indicator. A test at four weeks after exposure will identify 85-90% of all tests that are going to occur (at 6 weeks it will identify over 95% of infections). When this is taken in the context of the fact that, even if your partner had has sex with over 50 other partners, she is not likely to be infected. In addition, if she was infected, your risk of infection from a single vaginal exposure is about 1 in 1000 (the oral exposure, in this context, is not something to worry about). Thus, if you get tested now, odds are that the test will be negative and they can be taken as definitive.
As for protection. Protection works- condoms prevent HIV transmission. Thus condom protected sex is safe sex.
Hope this helps. EWH