Aa
worried about HPV
Hi,
I am a married man age 43.
About a year ago I stupidly went through a phase where I had 5 encounters with escorts on visits to over the period of around 6 months. Each encounter involved protected intercourse.
I had a sexual health test which was clear for all infections that can be tested but am now worried about HPV.
I intend to talk to my wife about it but don't want to put her through the same sickening worry that I am feeling.
What are the chances that I could cause her to get cervical cancer?
I have read up on other risk factors and she is low risk for all:
- only two children, the first born when she was 32
- she has not used oral contraceptives for over 10 years
- she has never smoked
- no other STDs were present (following the test I had)
- there is no history of cervical cancer in her family
We do have sex but not very regularly - I have been avoiding ejaculating as I read that ejaculate can promote cancerous changes.
Help !!
I am a married man age 43.
About a year ago I stupidly went through a phase where I had 5 encounters with escorts on visits to over the period of around 6 months. Each encounter involved protected intercourse.
I had a sexual health test which was clear for all infections that can be tested but am now worried about HPV.
I intend to talk to my wife about it but don't want to put her through the same sickening worry that I am feeling.
What are the chances that I could cause her to get cervical cancer?
I have read up on other risk factors and she is low risk for all:
- only two children, the first born when she was 32
- she has not used oral contraceptives for over 10 years
- she has never smoked
- no other STDs were present (following the test I had)
- there is no history of cervical cancer in her family
We do have sex but not very regularly - I have been avoiding ejaculating as I read that ejaculate can promote cancerous changes.
Help !!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your wife can safely stop having pap smears at age 65. Her sexual history, and yours, do not imply she is at any more than average risk compared with all women in the UK, indeed her risk more likely is lower than average.
The 5% statistic does not imply that most women will have a positive pap at some time. I don't know how you would assume that. I don't know the true proportion -- certainly it's high, and I might guess that 15-30% of women have an abnormal pap somewhere along the line -- but I doubt it's a majority. Anyway, the vast majority of abnormal paps do not lead to cancer, even if never treated.
You are overthinking all this and you need to get beyond it. I suggest you stop searching the web or other information. Let it go. In any case, I won't have anything more to say.
The 5% statistic does not imply that most women will have a positive pap at some time. I don't know how you would assume that. I don't know the true proportion -- certainly it's high, and I might guess that 15-30% of women have an abnormal pap somewhere along the line -- but I doubt it's a majority. Anyway, the vast majority of abnormal paps do not lead to cancer, even if never treated.
You are overthinking all this and you need to get beyond it. I suggest you stop searching the web or other information. Let it go. In any case, I won't have anything more to say.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I can't say that infection with 2 or more HPV types is "very" unlikely, but it is not a high likelihood.
Abnormal pap smears can develop anywhere from a few weeks to 30 years or more after acquring HPV. Should your wife have an abnormal pap someday, it will be impossible to judge whether her HPV infection precedes your marriage or not. She could have brought the infection into the marriage, or you could have been unwittingly infected from your own premarital partners, then infected your wife years ago. Or it could be from your more recent dalliances. But a new abnormal pap in a married woman generally does not raise suspicions about recent infidelity in either partner -- and even if it does, plausible denial simply isn't a problem. Abnormal paps are found all the time in women in truly monogamous relationships, including longstanding marriages.
Abnormal pap smears can develop anywhere from a few weeks to 30 years or more after acquring HPV. Should your wife have an abnormal pap someday, it will be impossible to judge whether her HPV infection precedes your marriage or not. She could have brought the infection into the marriage, or you could have been unwittingly infected from your own premarital partners, then infected your wife years ago. Or it could be from your more recent dalliances. But a new abnormal pap in a married woman generally does not raise suspicions about recent infidelity in either partner -- and even if it does, plausible denial simply isn't a problem. Abnormal paps are found all the time in women in truly monogamous relationships, including longstanding marriages.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the STD forum and thank you for your question. I'll try to help.
Condoms are quite protective against HPV. They aren't perfect, but after only 5 condom-protected sexual exposures, it is unlikely you were infected. In addition, new HPV infections tend to be fairly uncommon in men your age; that's one reason the standard HPV vaccines are not recommended in people over 26 years old. And even if you were infected, the chance your wife would get cancer as a result is extremely small. The vast majority of genital HPV infections never show up at all -- no abnormal pap smears and no cancer.
Virtually all sexually active persons -- i.e. non-virgins -- are at some risk of genital HPV infection. The only exceptions are those in permanent, mutually monogamous relationships, i.e. in couples in which neither member ever has had sex with anyone else. Further, once a person has had more than 2-3 lifetime sex partners, the number of partners doesn't make much difference in risk.
Therefore, if your and your wife's sexual histories are typical -- i.e. either or both of you had at least occasional other sexual relationships before you were married -- she could have an abnormal pap smear someday. So in the event that happens, it won't necessarily have anything at all to do with your extramarital sexual partnerships, either with the escorts mentioned here or other exposures.
For all those reasons, you should not be at all concerned about HPV and certainly not about cervical cancer. Your wife should follow her doctor's recommendations for pap smears from time to time, but every woman needs to do that; the need is no greater in your wife than in any other woman.
You are misinformed about ejaculation and cancer. With or without HPV, whether or not you ejaculate in your wife's vagina will have absolutely no bearing on her chances of an abnormal pap smear or cancer.
From the standpoint of HPV, there is no reason for you to discuss any of this with your wife. There may be emotional or relationship reasons why you should speak with her about your extramarital activities, but that's up to you -- not the business of this forum.
In summary, it is unlikely you acquired HPV from the escort exposures; if you did, it will probably never cause any health problem in you or your wife; if she turns up with HPV someday, there will be no reason to suspect and no reason for her to know of your extramarital exposures. She is no more at risk of an abnormal pap smear or cervical cancer than most women her age.
I hope this helps sort things out for you. Good luck-- HHH, MD
Condoms are quite protective against HPV. They aren't perfect, but after only 5 condom-protected sexual exposures, it is unlikely you were infected. In addition, new HPV infections tend to be fairly uncommon in men your age; that's one reason the standard HPV vaccines are not recommended in people over 26 years old. And even if you were infected, the chance your wife would get cancer as a result is extremely small. The vast majority of genital HPV infections never show up at all -- no abnormal pap smears and no cancer.
Virtually all sexually active persons -- i.e. non-virgins -- are at some risk of genital HPV infection. The only exceptions are those in permanent, mutually monogamous relationships, i.e. in couples in which neither member ever has had sex with anyone else. Further, once a person has had more than 2-3 lifetime sex partners, the number of partners doesn't make much difference in risk.
Therefore, if your and your wife's sexual histories are typical -- i.e. either or both of you had at least occasional other sexual relationships before you were married -- she could have an abnormal pap smear someday. So in the event that happens, it won't necessarily have anything at all to do with your extramarital sexual partnerships, either with the escorts mentioned here or other exposures.
For all those reasons, you should not be at all concerned about HPV and certainly not about cervical cancer. Your wife should follow her doctor's recommendations for pap smears from time to time, but every woman needs to do that; the need is no greater in your wife than in any other woman.
You are misinformed about ejaculation and cancer. With or without HPV, whether or not you ejaculate in your wife's vagina will have absolutely no bearing on her chances of an abnormal pap smear or cancer.
From the standpoint of HPV, there is no reason for you to discuss any of this with your wife. There may be emotional or relationship reasons why you should speak with her about your extramarital activities, but that's up to you -- not the business of this forum.
In summary, it is unlikely you acquired HPV from the escort exposures; if you did, it will probably never cause any health problem in you or your wife; if she turns up with HPV someday, there will be no reason to suspect and no reason for her to know of your extramarital exposures. She is no more at risk of an abnormal pap smear or cervical cancer than most women her age.
I hope this helps sort things out for you. Good luck-- HHH, MD
Sorry to come back again on this, but I have been thinking about it some more...
You mentioned that abnormal pap smears can develop up to 30 years after infection. My wife is 47 at present and, in the UK, pap smears stop at 65 as standard. Would it be risky for her to stop having pap smears at this age, given what I have done?
Also, I saw a statistic recently that said that 5% of ALL pap smears in the UK were positive, which seems to suggest that, on average, most women will have a positive pap smear at some point between 25 and 65. This makes me worried that HPV infection is actually quite likely to lead to an abnormal pap smear. Am I being stupid?
You mentioned that abnormal pap smears can develop up to 30 years after infection. My wife is 47 at present and, in the UK, pap smears stop at 65 as standard. Would it be risky for her to stop having pap smears at this age, given what I have done?
Also, I saw a statistic recently that said that 5% of ALL pap smears in the UK were positive, which seems to suggest that, on average, most women will have a positive pap smear at some point between 25 and 65. This makes me worried that HPV infection is actually quite likely to lead to an abnormal pap smear. Am I being stupid?
Many thanks for your response - it has already helped reduce my anxiety greatly.
Having read lots (maybe too much!) information on the net about HPV, I had convinced myself that, because there are so many different types of high risk HPV and that condoms do not provide complete protection, I would have been infected by a whole range of different HPV types which neither of us had built up immunity to and that this would then pose a very high risk to my wife.
I take it from your response that the multiple infection scenario is very unlikely?
Also, I had one other question regarding your answer. What is the realistic maximum period between infection and an abnormal smear. I have been married 16 years. Does this mean that any abnormal pap result coming from my recent exposures is likely to be so far in the future as to not be explainable by exposure from our previous relationships,
Having read lots (maybe too much!) information on the net about HPV, I had convinced myself that, because there are so many different types of high risk HPV and that condoms do not provide complete protection, I would have been infected by a whole range of different HPV types which neither of us had built up immunity to and that this would then pose a very high risk to my wife.
I take it from your response that the multiple infection scenario is very unlikely?
Also, I had one other question regarding your answer. What is the realistic maximum period between infection and an abnormal smear. I have been married 16 years. Does this mean that any abnormal pap result coming from my recent exposures is likely to be so far in the future as to not be explainable by exposure from our previous relationships,
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