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Condom protected vaginal sex, unprotected oral sex
Hi doctors,
I'm a man in my early 30s and recently met a woman on an internet dating site, aged 29 (we're both white, in New York City) and we ended up sleeping with one another on the first date. We had brief, (maybe 2-3 minute) condom protected vaginal sex and I received unprotected fellatio and performed VERY brief cunnilingus on her (just licked her clitorous).
Before hooking up I asked her if she had been tested and she said that she tested negative for everything in late February 2012 and hasn't slept with anyone since. But now I'm wondering, 'oh, what if she slept with someone within the window period before her test etc'. Stupid. I know.
I tested negative for everything about ten weeks ago and only have HSV-1, I get cold sores on my lips once every year or two.
From what I've read on the forum it seems like I'm at essentially no risk for anything but I would like to make sure I have all of my facts straight. I've seen no symptoms of anything (sores, blisters, discharge, pus etc)
1.) Condom protected vaginal sex is essentially no risk for STDs including HIV?
2.) Receiving unprotected fellatio is no risk for HIV and basically very low risk for some bacterial STDs?
3.) Giving unprotected cunnilingus is essentially zero risk?
4.) Basically, I didn't put myself at risk for HIV or any STDs and this situation doesn't require any testing?
5.) I'm in the process of working things out with an ex. Can I resume unprotected sex with my regular partner without fear of passing anything to her?
I'm a man in my early 30s and recently met a woman on an internet dating site, aged 29 (we're both white, in New York City) and we ended up sleeping with one another on the first date. We had brief, (maybe 2-3 minute) condom protected vaginal sex and I received unprotected fellatio and performed VERY brief cunnilingus on her (just licked her clitorous).
Before hooking up I asked her if she had been tested and she said that she tested negative for everything in late February 2012 and hasn't slept with anyone since. But now I'm wondering, 'oh, what if she slept with someone within the window period before her test etc'. Stupid. I know.
I tested negative for everything about ten weeks ago and only have HSV-1, I get cold sores on my lips once every year or two.
From what I've read on the forum it seems like I'm at essentially no risk for anything but I would like to make sure I have all of my facts straight. I've seen no symptoms of anything (sores, blisters, discharge, pus etc)
1.) Condom protected vaginal sex is essentially no risk for STDs including HIV?
2.) Receiving unprotected fellatio is no risk for HIV and basically very low risk for some bacterial STDs?
3.) Giving unprotected cunnilingus is essentially zero risk?
4.) Basically, I didn't put myself at risk for HIV or any STDs and this situation doesn't require any testing?
5.) I'm in the process of working things out with an ex. Can I resume unprotected sex with my regular partner without fear of passing anything to her?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question and for researching it by reading other threads.
Oral sex is inherently safe -- not completely risk free, but with much lower chance of infection than by unprotected vaginal or anal sex. And you describe a partner who seems very unlikely to be infected. I disagree you did anything "stupid". Within the context of a quick hook-up, you took very sensible precautions, both in partner selection and in the sexual contact itself. So you are exactly right that this event put you "at essentially no risk for anything". To your specific questions:
1) "Condom protected vaginal sex is essentially no risk for STDs including HIV?" True, except for a slight risk of skin-to-skin STD transmission, e.g. HPV or (almost no risk) HSV. And as a sexually active person, you're going to have HPV anyway, or have had it -- with no harm expected.
2,3) Risk of unprotected fellatio and cunnilingus: You have it exactly right.
4,5) Of course I'm not in a position to guarantee you weren't infected, or that you don't have an STD unrelated to your internet partner. But if I were in your situation, and with the expert knowledge I have, I would not be tested for anything and would continue unprotected sex with my wife with no worry about infecting her with anything.
Now, having said all that: although the specific exposure you describe carried no appreciable STD risk, your overall life situation is one associated with high STD rates in general. Times of unstable relationships, e.g. transient break-up etc, are when many people make riskier sexual choices -- such as overlapping sexual partnerships, experimentation, etc. If this is your only exposure in recent years other than with your ex partner, and you are confident she hasn't had other partners recently, then no problem. If any doubt, getting back together might be a good time for both of you to have standard STD testing in the next couple of weeks (gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, syphilis).
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Oral sex is inherently safe -- not completely risk free, but with much lower chance of infection than by unprotected vaginal or anal sex. And you describe a partner who seems very unlikely to be infected. I disagree you did anything "stupid". Within the context of a quick hook-up, you took very sensible precautions, both in partner selection and in the sexual contact itself. So you are exactly right that this event put you "at essentially no risk for anything". To your specific questions:
1) "Condom protected vaginal sex is essentially no risk for STDs including HIV?" True, except for a slight risk of skin-to-skin STD transmission, e.g. HPV or (almost no risk) HSV. And as a sexually active person, you're going to have HPV anyway, or have had it -- with no harm expected.
2,3) Risk of unprotected fellatio and cunnilingus: You have it exactly right.
4,5) Of course I'm not in a position to guarantee you weren't infected, or that you don't have an STD unrelated to your internet partner. But if I were in your situation, and with the expert knowledge I have, I would not be tested for anything and would continue unprotected sex with my wife with no worry about infecting her with anything.
Now, having said all that: although the specific exposure you describe carried no appreciable STD risk, your overall life situation is one associated with high STD rates in general. Times of unstable relationships, e.g. transient break-up etc, are when many people make riskier sexual choices -- such as overlapping sexual partnerships, experimentation, etc. If this is your only exposure in recent years other than with your ex partner, and you are confident she hasn't had other partners recently, then no problem. If any doubt, getting back together might be a good time for both of you to have standard STD testing in the next couple of weeks (gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, syphilis).
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Forum moderators don't expect much from questioners, but we do expect them to read our replies. See my responses to your original questions 1-3.
Hi doctor, One final question (I'm pretty sure that this is the case but just wanted to confirm), condom protected vaginal sex and unprotected oral sex are no risk for HIV?
Thanks so much for your input. Just to confirm, this encounter had zero risk for HIV?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Then I would say no further testing is needed for either you or your regular partner.
woops, correction, HSV-1 was positive. I get cold sores. everything else was NEGATIVE. I haven't been intimate with anyone else since being tested.
Thanks so much for the quick and detailed response.
Actually, I did date a few women earlier in the year and decided that I needed to get "off the market". I waited about 8 weeks after the last encounter and had a full STD screening, including HSV 1 and 2. Everything came up negative. This was about 8 or 9 weeks ago now.
My ex and I are very open and she hasn't been intimate with anyone since we split up at the beginning of the year.
This falls into the 'no problem' and ' no need to be tested for anything/continue unprotected sex with my wife with no worry' category?
Actually, I did date a few women earlier in the year and decided that I needed to get "off the market". I waited about 8 weeks after the last encounter and had a full STD screening, including HSV 1 and 2. Everything came up negative. This was about 8 or 9 weeks ago now.
My ex and I are very open and she hasn't been intimate with anyone since we split up at the beginning of the year.
This falls into the 'no problem' and ' no need to be tested for anything/continue unprotected sex with my wife with no worry' category?
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
