Your abnormal pap smear was not "probably from HPV"; it definitely was. Nothing other than HSV causes sthis. However, in general, different types of HPV cause pap smear abnormalities and genital warts. So most likely you are not infected with a wart-causing strain. Also, warts generally show up sooner than what you read -- usually a few weeks, and I have never heard of it taking 8 months. (If it sometimes seems to take that long, it's mostly because people just didn't notice the warts as soon as they might have.)
As far as whether "you still have the virus" if warts or new pap smear abnormalities haven't appeared after a couple of years, this really isn't known. Some HPV infections indeed persist indefinitely, but most believe the virus itself disappears, kept in check by the immune system. The virus's DNA may persist longer, and some researchers believe it's always there -- and sometimes a reactivated infection can appear years later. This is fairly common and often is the explanation for new pap smear abnormalities among women in middle-life. Still, it is an exception; for the most part, once detectable infection clears up -- usually a few months to 2 years or so -- the infection is gone forever. (And by the way, in response to a question you didn't ask but some women worry about: this possibility does not mean there is anything wrong with your immune system. It just happens sometimes.)
It is very unlikely you had sex without knowing it, regardless of how alcohol-impaired you might have been -- and it sounds like not much anyway. Therefore, it is more likely that you either caught HPV from your husband or that you were infected some years earlier (from some other partner, impossible to know when and where) and are one of those people whose abnormal pap was due to reactivation of an old infection. Either way, if you and your husband have had unprotected vaginal sex, almost certatinly he has (or had) the same infection. Most HPV infections in men remain entirely asymptomatic. The fact that he has not had visible warts is further evidence that your infection was not due to a recently acquired wart-causing type of HPV.
Bottom lines: If you have no other reason to suspect your husband's sexual fidelity, there is no need to go there. Your infection has been taken care of and probably will not cause you any future problem of any kind. Your husband need not be examined if he hasn't noticed warts or other unexplained skin lesions of the penis. And there is no need to change your sexual practices or habits with your husband -- sex of any type that pleases you is just fine, without condoms.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
And one more bottom line: Of course follow your doctor's advice about follow-up pap smears or other examinations. Finally, you might discuss all this information with her. I'll bet she agrees with pretty much everything I said.