Welcome to the STD forum. I reviewed your discussion on the community forum. I agree wholeheartedly that Grace and the others indeed are wonderful; they are highly expert, experienced, and sensitive herpes clinicians and counselors. And although I didn't read that entire discussion in detail, I also agree with the advice you had: probably you do not have genital herpes.
The HSV IgM antibody test is highly unreliable, in contrast with the IgG results, which are very reliable. In most persons with test results like yours, the positive IgM is false and there is no infection with neither HSV-1 nor HSV-2. See the thread below for details. You also can use the search link for this forum; enter "herpes IgM" or "HSV IgM antibody" for many discussions.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Confusiion-over-other-IgM-Herpes-posts/show/248394
However, there is another wrinkle in the testing story. The HSV-1 IgG test does miss around 5-10% of infections. You could have oral (or genital) HSV-1 despite the negative blood test. It would be interesting to hear more about the basis of your ex-partner's doc concluding you were the only possible source of his apparrent genital HSV-1 infection. If indeed you were the only possible source of his infection, and if it can be proved his infection was new (which is often difficult to tell), then you are infected with false-negative blood test.
Although IgG testing needs to be done at 12 weeks to have definitive results, half of newly infected people are positive by 3 weeks and 80-90% by 6 weeks. So not only does it seem unlikely you are the source of your ex's infection, but you can already be fairly certain you were not infected by him. But do let me know your 12 week result as well.
As for your symptoms -- the minor bumps, etc -- initial herpes is usually all or nothing: i.e. no symptoms at all, which is certainly possible; or severe symptoms that would have had a positive culture when swabbed.
The first part of your closing statement is wrong, the second half correct: i.e. it is not at all true that "everyone that is with someone that has HSV gets it". Most sex partners of persons with either oral or genital herpes in fact do not catch it themselves. In people with either genital or oral herpes, the virus is present in and around the mouth or genital areas, respectively, well under 10% of the time; for HSV-1, it's probably under 1% of the time. And most of the time it can be detected, it is in such low amounts that transmission is unlikely. If one person is chronically infected and his or her partner is not, it may take an average of 1,000 or more sexual encounters before the virus actually is transmitted.
All this assumes your ex-partner's diagnosis is correct. The pubic area is a somewhat atypical location for herpes, however, but common for folliculitis -- which was the initial impression, if I correctly recall the community forum discussion. Cultures rarely lie, but labs have made such mistakes.
In summary, I cannot say for certain you don't have HSV-1, either oral or genital. But from what I know so far, I doubt it rather strongly. If you're on speaking terms with your ex, please try to get more details about why his doc thought you had to be the source; and let's also discuss your 12 week HSV blood test after it is done. In the meantime, try to stay mellow. Most likely this will turn out well.
Regards-- HHH, MD