Ethical delima

[Godanaye]

Hello

Before I got into a relationship with my current girl friend I had only one sexual encounter that was condom protected and lasted for 1 min. Plus before I started having a sexual relationship with her I tested for HSV2 and I tested Negative. However, now I have evidence that I did get herpes from that encounter. here is my story:

My Girlfriend has been complaining about painfull Lymph Nodes for the past 5 weeks or so. I do not know whether she has lesions or not but she says that the pain comes and goes. She went to the doctor about it and the doc gave her some random reason that maybe the fact that she shaves down there is giving her the Lymph node pain. However, in the back of my mind I suspected Herpes.

Now I see irritations and a very tiny crack in my penile skin, this crack is weeping and it is an open sore (no doubt), but I have to admit its sort of hard to see. I am convinced that I had herpes all along and I just transmited the disease to her (because she is having an initial outbreak if that is what it is). Btw, I have been with my girl for about 10 months.

My questions are:

-How should I go about raising the issue of herpes to her? How do I tell her to go to the doc again? In your experience how do people react when they get diagnosed? I am just numb and not feeling much.

-am I in any sort of legal trouble? if it gets there?

-What kind of symptoms can she expect? When can she expect her lymph node pains to go away? would the Lymph node pains come back?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Thanks for bringing that up.  Genital herpes just about NEVER recurs so often that is seems to be present continuously.  The frequency of your sypmptoms is another indicator that you are unlikely to have herpes, reinforcing my original message.  eWH

[Godanaye]

I have a question about reccurances. How Common is it for herpes to recure so often as to seem continous? I feel like I have been getting lesions so often the past two months I keep thinking maybe just maybe that is not herpes that is causing my lesions. What do you think?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I suspect your concern about herpes is misplaced.  You had a single, brief condom-protected exposure to a sex worker.  Whether or not she has herpes, your condom would protect you.  The lesions you think are herpes might b e but are probably not and your GFs symptoms are in no way suggestive of herpes.  

My suggestion is as follows,  YOU  need to find out if you have herpes.  Please remember that experts (and you are not) are wrong about 25% of the time when they diagnose herpes without the confirmation of a blood and culture test.  You should see a doctor who can do a herpes culture or PCR from the lesion you describe.  In addition, you should have a repeat, type-specific IgG herpes blood test such as the HerpeSelect.  When both the culture and blood test are negative, you will know that you do not have herpes and that your GF's discomfort is due to something other than herpes.  

To worry about telling her before you truely know that you have herpes is a big mistake and will cause you nothing but trouble.  EWH

[Godanaye]

Forgot to mention that my sexual exposure was with a Sex worker. Hence, no doubt I got the diseas from that encounter.