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HIV worries
Dear Doctor,
I am very worried about some recent symptoms. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend over the past seven years. For the past three years, I have had on and off again sexual encounters with a heterosexual male, who has never used any drugs. At first, we used condoms, but after a year, we stopped using them. Our encounters occured about three times a year at most. About two years ago, I asked him if he's ever been tested for anything, he said yes and they all came back negative. Since then, I haven't asked.
My most recent encounters with him included one time in May of 04, one time in October of 04, and one time in November of 04. Since then I have not slept with him. (2 of those times, he didn't even ejaculate)
In May of 04 about two weeks after we slept together, I noticed a 1-2 sores on my vaginal area. They went away in about a week. Then in February '05, I noticed a small rash, consisting of small red dots (about 5)on my left hip. They cleared up in a couple of weeks. Since then I have been investigating and looking up possible symptoms of STD's. I have been so worried.
Lately, I have had headaches, swollen lymph nodes, and about 3 night sweats,( after the three night sweats, they have stopped.) and I have noticed some bumps on the very back of my tongue.
My boyfriend has had a small spot on his penis, that looked nothing like mine about a year ago, and he also had a rash break out on his elbows, which also cleared up. Since then he has been complaining of headaches.
What are these symptoms of. I've went to my gyno when my lymph nodes got swollen, and he said it was from shaving my bikini area. He also did a complete gyno check, and said everything looked fine. All my Paps over the last 4 years have been normal.
Am I at risk for HIV?
Are my most recent symptoms due to severe stress and anxiety?
My boyfriend is also under a lot of stress with work related issues.
I know I need to go get tested, I was just wondering if I could have your opinion in the meantime.
Thank you so much for your time.
I really look forward to hearing your opinion.
I am very worried about some recent symptoms. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend over the past seven years. For the past three years, I have had on and off again sexual encounters with a heterosexual male, who has never used any drugs. At first, we used condoms, but after a year, we stopped using them. Our encounters occured about three times a year at most. About two years ago, I asked him if he's ever been tested for anything, he said yes and they all came back negative. Since then, I haven't asked.
My most recent encounters with him included one time in May of 04, one time in October of 04, and one time in November of 04. Since then I have not slept with him. (2 of those times, he didn't even ejaculate)
In May of 04 about two weeks after we slept together, I noticed a 1-2 sores on my vaginal area. They went away in about a week. Then in February '05, I noticed a small rash, consisting of small red dots (about 5)on my left hip. They cleared up in a couple of weeks. Since then I have been investigating and looking up possible symptoms of STD's. I have been so worried.
Lately, I have had headaches, swollen lymph nodes, and about 3 night sweats,( after the three night sweats, they have stopped.) and I have noticed some bumps on the very back of my tongue.
My boyfriend has had a small spot on his penis, that looked nothing like mine about a year ago, and he also had a rash break out on his elbows, which also cleared up. Since then he has been complaining of headaches.
What are these symptoms of. I've went to my gyno when my lymph nodes got swollen, and he said it was from shaving my bikini area. He also did a complete gyno check, and said everything looked fine. All my Paps over the last 4 years have been normal.
Am I at risk for HIV?
Are my most recent symptoms due to severe stress and anxiety?
My boyfriend is also under a lot of stress with work related issues.
I know I need to go get tested, I was just wondering if I could have your opinion in the meantime.
Thank you so much for your time.
I really look forward to hearing your opinion.
I have some symptoms similar with yours, such as bumps on the back of my tougue, swollen node gland which the dr. said was from shaving, and slight headaches. But I have only kissed a gay guy about 5 months ago. And 30 days after I kissed him, I went to get HIV tested, the result came back neg. So I guess you should not worry that much. Hopefully this makes you feel better.
i thought i had swoen lymph nodes but the dr said i didnt when he checked, but they were very sore ,now i had him do the test it came back negative but it was at the 26 day point of my last encounter of unprotected sex,i still have symptoms on and off i am getting slight fevers on and off of like 99.0 along with a cough on and off and on and off tight chest the groin lymph is not sore any more but im still very very scared maybe the test was done too soon
Doctor,
I am so sorry, but I have one more question,
If I did have HIV, wouldn't some of my symptoms include yeast infections? B/C to my knowledge, I havent' had any, and I think I would know if I had.
And is there somemthing to say that my pap smears have all come back normal? I thought that was a big indicator in women with HIV?
Thanks again.
I am so sorry, but I have one more question,
If I did have HIV, wouldn't some of my symptoms include yeast infections? B/C to my knowledge, I havent' had any, and I think I would know if I had.
And is there somemthing to say that my pap smears have all come back normal? I thought that was a big indicator in women with HIV?
Thanks again.
Hi,
Just to echo and add to what the doctor just said, one sad reality of life is that many men are bisexual and their female partners never know about it, so I'd probably guess that to be on the safe side, you should check everything out as if you have the same risk level as a gay man.
Usually bisexual guys in that situation are more careful than average when they hook up with guys, because they're scared of getting discovered or infecting the women they love, but slipups happen. Depending on what city you're in, there are whole subcultures of straight guys who have sex with other men from time to time but don't consider themselves anything other than straight. (I know because I used to be caught up in some of those subcultures.) Even if there are studies showing that heterosexual men have a very low risk of carrying HIV, I don't believe one word of those studies, because the vast majority of bisexual men who have female partners, will never tell a researcher about their secret life, and 99% of the time, nobody would be able to guess from looking at them that they sleep with guys sometimes.
J
Just to echo and add to what the doctor just said, one sad reality of life is that many men are bisexual and their female partners never know about it, so I'd probably guess that to be on the safe side, you should check everything out as if you have the same risk level as a gay man.
Usually bisexual guys in that situation are more careful than average when they hook up with guys, because they're scared of getting discovered or infecting the women they love, but slipups happen. Depending on what city you're in, there are whole subcultures of straight guys who have sex with other men from time to time but don't consider themselves anything other than straight. (I know because I used to be caught up in some of those subcultures.) Even if there are studies showing that heterosexual men have a very low risk of carrying HIV, I don't believe one word of those studies, because the vast majority of bisexual men who have female partners, will never tell a researcher about their secret life, and 99% of the time, nobody would be able to guess from looking at them that they sleep with guys sometimes.
J
Doctor,
Thank you for your comments and opinions.
I only have a couple more questions.
My only signs and symptoms over the past year have been "the sore" and the "rash" that was back in February somemtime.
If it was Herpes, wouldn't I probally have had another outbreak by now?
To clear up the history with the other partner...he is definitley straight, and has never used any drugs what so ever.
However, I do not know who he's slept with outside of me. Which is what concerns me.
Are there other medical issues that could cause the "sore", and would something like that be my initial symptom for HIV? It showed up abouut two weeks after we slept together.
The sore on my boyfriend's penis, looked very similar to sores I saw on the internet of pictures of men with syphillis, which is why I asked.
Would syphillis cause the sores in my mouth, and that dry mouth feeling.
Am I more at chance of getting syphillis or HIV?
Sorry for so many quesitons.
Thank you for your time.
I will go get tested.
Thank you for your comments and opinions.
I only have a couple more questions.
My only signs and symptoms over the past year have been "the sore" and the "rash" that was back in February somemtime.
If it was Herpes, wouldn't I probally have had another outbreak by now?
To clear up the history with the other partner...he is definitley straight, and has never used any drugs what so ever.
However, I do not know who he's slept with outside of me. Which is what concerns me.
Are there other medical issues that could cause the "sore", and would something like that be my initial symptom for HIV? It showed up abouut two weeks after we slept together.
The sore on my boyfriend's penis, looked very similar to sores I saw on the internet of pictures of men with syphillis, which is why I asked.
Would syphillis cause the sores in my mouth, and that dry mouth feeling.
Am I more at chance of getting syphillis or HIV?
Sorry for so many quesitons.
Thank you for your time.
I will go get tested.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Syphilis conceivably could cause your symptoms, including the genital sores. Like HIV, it would be more likely if one of your partners is bisexual. (This assumes you are in North America or another western country--different risks from developing countries.) So syphilis would be a big surprise and I doubt you have it; but to be safe have a syphilis blood test along with the others.
HHH, MD
HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Most people with genital herpes have recurrent outbreaks and their absence makes herpes a little less likely, but only a little. Even with only 1 episode, herpes still is the most likely cause of genital sores, and your boyfriend's had penile "sores"--which I didn't notice in your first message, if you said it)--only increases my concern about herpes. Among heterosexual men and women, persons with genital sores are at least 20 times more likely to have herpes than syphilis.
Most people with syphilis don't have the other symptoms you describe. And contrary to common beliefs, most women with HIV do not have problems with yeast.
The bottom line is that symptoms you describe (and the lack of others) simply don't permit a clear prediction as to whether or not you have herpes, syphilis, or HIV. Only the lab tests are going to tell.
Regards-- HHH, MD
Most people with syphilis don't have the other symptoms you describe. And contrary to common beliefs, most women with HIV do not have problems with yeast.
The bottom line is that symptoms you describe (and the lack of others) simply don't permit a clear prediction as to whether or not you have herpes, syphilis, or HIV. Only the lab tests are going to tell.
Regards-- HHH, MD
one thing that seems common are these swollen lymphnodes, how can stress/anxiety contribute to them? I mean how can that make them swell up?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I don't think all of kathy123's symptoms are due to anxiety and told her that. But many people who believe their lymph nodes are swollen don't have enlarged nodes on exam; it's hard to tell from an online description.
HHH, MD
HHH, MD
Sorry doctor, I have one more question,
Is it possible that my signs and symptoms could be related to syphillis?
I only wonder, because I haven't had another rash, or any other sores on my vagina since the initial.
Is it possible that my signs and symptoms could be related to syphillis?
I only wonder, because I haven't had another rash, or any other sores on my vagina since the initial.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Statistically speaking, your risk for HIV is low. The symptoms you describe are consistent with HIV, but also with any number of other conditions, generally not serious. On the other hand, you say nothing about (and may not know about) possible HIV risk factors in your partners, e.g. sex with other men, injection drug use, etc. By far the most common cause of genital sores is herpes; that's a pretty good bet for "1-2 sores on my vaginal area" that "went away in a week". I can't predict anything about your other rash or your partner's symptoms ("spot on penis").
To answer your specific questions:
At risk for HIV? Probably not, but see above. Symptoms due to stress/anxiety? You seem anxious, and I often say that when a person suspects his or her own symptoms are due to anxiety, probably they are. But anxiety won't cause rashes or sores. I think both you and your boyfriend (and ideally your other partner as well) should be tested for HIV and for HSV-2. See numerous other threads about the proper kind of herpes blood test to be sure you get an accurate result.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
To answer your specific questions:
At risk for HIV? Probably not, but see above. Symptoms due to stress/anxiety? You seem anxious, and I often say that when a person suspects his or her own symptoms are due to anxiety, probably they are. But anxiety won't cause rashes or sores. I think both you and your boyfriend (and ideally your other partner as well) should be tested for HIV and for HSV-2. See numerous other threads about the proper kind of herpes blood test to be sure you get an accurate result.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
