Welcome to the forum and thanks for your question.
Before I get to your specific questions, I'd like you to come to an understanding about some basic facts about HPV. Everybody gets it, and so wlll you someda; it's unavoidable unless you live alife without sex with other people, Most infections never cause symptoms and go away without causing harm; this is true even for the high-risk (cancer-causing) HPV strains. If and when you or a partner ever have HPV diagnosed, such as cervical dysplasia in a partner, you probably will not be able to tell when ir from whom you caught it. People with known or diagnosed genital HPV are no more likely than anyone else to transmit the virus to partners. Finally, entirely different types of HPV are responsible for warts and for pre-cancerous cervical dysplasia.
For all these reasons, nobody should go through life worrying about HPV, and nobody should freak out over any particular sexual exposure, even with a partner known to have HPV, warts, or an abnormal pap smear. All young people should be immunized with Gardasil, the vaccine that prevents against 4 of the most troublesome HPV types -- and otherwise forget HPV.
As for your particular exposure, I agree it would have been kind of your partner to tell you about her very recently treated HPV infection before the sewmi-sexual exposure and not afterward. Still, the virus is rarely transmitted without unprotected intercourse. When warts appear on the thighs, it probably isn't because of direct transmission. It happens primarily in people who start out with actual genital infection, with subsequent spread to nearby areas like the thighs, buttocks, anal area, and so on. And even this is the exception, not the rule.
Finally, in the unlikely event you caught this partner's HPV infection, and in the even less likely event you developed visible warts, it won't happen for some time. The earliest warts can appear is 2-3 months after exposure and the average is 6-12 months.
Bottom lines: It is very unlikely you acquired HPV from this event; and if you did you probably will never know it and will not likely transmit it ti future partners.
I hope this has helped. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
I understand that HPV can appear on the thighs so that is the concern.