Welcome to our Forum. I reviewed some of your nearly 50 posts on the Herpes Community site and see that you worry a lot about STDs and tend to examine yourself quite closely. I worry a bit about this- there are many completely normal, non-STD irregularities and lesions throughout the genital area which get noticed and the become the subject of unnecessary repeated examinations, manipulations and self-treatment. (In an earlier exchange Grace on the HSV Community site called this the "crotch watch"). This sort of scrutiny is typically not helpful and can be harmful if it leads to scraping, self-medication, picking, etc. at the lesions as these are all practices which can only obscure what it really going on.
Further as a point of information, the “vinegar test” is not useful. Some lesions that are not HPV turn white and lesions that are HPV may not. It is not recommended.
With the background, let's address your questions:
1. Is this a wart?
There is no way to tell over the internet. You have been examined by a trained clinician who felt it was not a wart. Thus, it probably in not.
2. can i still get a biopsy or has burning it with vinegar ruined that and also that it is now flat make it to hard? can skin near wart be biopsied
If the lesion remains, it can be biopsied and you can find out if it is a wart or not. It sounds small enough that a biopsy will probably remove it any way. If you choose to pursue a biopsy, I would stop applications of vinegar or other substances, as well as other manipulation through repeated self-examination.
3. is the whole genital area contagious
no, if this was, HPV is a local process. Anyway, worrying about HPB is a waste of time-virtually every sexually active person already has HPV. Here is something I said to a prior client: "For better or worse, at present HPV is a "fact of life" and most people have it or will have it at some point in the future. Despite this fact, only a tiny minority of persons with HPV get the consequences of infection (primarily women and primarily cancer and pre-cancerous lesions). HPV is the most commonly acquired STD. Over 85% of sexually active women will have HPV infection at some time in their lives. The figure for men is less well studied but similar. In some HPV will cause genital warts, in others it will not cause warts but may lead to changes in PAP smears. In nearly everyone who gets HPV, warts or otherwise, the infections will resolve by themselves without therapy in 8-24 months. In a very small minority of women, HPV infection can persist and lead to the pre-cancerous lesions that PAP smears detect and which can then be treated. "
Here is also the link to a longer, blog-like post Dr. Handsfield made to another client which expresses many of the same facts:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HPV-Transmission/show/1522088
4. what type of physical contact can i have with new man, touching my genitals, oral sex etc.
See above. Even if this is a wart, there is no reason for concern or limiting your sex life.
5.how contagious is it for my kids, towels, toilet, soap etc
No, despite the apocryphal things that are found on the internet, HPV infections, if that is what you have, are typically spread only by DIRECT contact, not on towels, toilet seats, soap, or dirty laundry.
I hope these comments will be helpful. EWH