married and worried

[anxiousexec]

Docter,
I am a married male 46 years old.  I have been faithful to my wife except for one time two years ago in which i was nervous enough about that i had a series of tests (1st week swab for baterial all negative, 8 weeks & again 12 weeks HIV, HSV 1&2 all negative.  Since then I was faitful to my wife until one week ago when I got together with a 50 year old married women I met online.  We kissed (french) for a few minutes we licked each others nipples, she gave me unprotected oral for a couple of mintues and the I found out she was on her period, she had a tampon in and I put the tip of my penis (unprotected) in her three to four times before she went back to oral for a couple more minutes until i orgasmed in her mouth.  I have talked to her since and she says she was faithful to her husband for 22 years, she had a brief affair with a coworker in 2008 and then was monogomous until March of this year when she has met a few people but has been careful.  She also said she was tested for HIV/HCV and Herpes II ans was all negative.  I don't know how long ago her testing was.

It has been a week now and every day i find myself examing my mouth, nipples and penis for bumps.  I also watch my urine but no pain or discoloration.  I am so scared that I have an STD (gonorhea, herpes 1 or 2, NGU, clamidia, syphillis or HIV).  What is the possibility I have of any of these STD's?  I am afraid to be with my wife as I could give them to her.

Thanks for your help!

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Oh good grief.  High risk because of her career??!!

Your partner could have had every one of those infections in its most transmissible forms -- but your exposures with her were not of a sort that could have result in you being infected, with the theoretical but in fact virtually zero chance of HSV-1 from kissing.  You came here for reassurance and I gave it.  Accept it or not, I don't care, but don't argue with it; this isn't a debate.  Any more nonsense comments like this and the entire thread will be deleted.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.

For a variety of reasons, STDs are rare at your age and especially at your recent partner's age -- and it sounds like her risk is particularly low, given her sexual history.  Further, you had entirely safe and protected sex except for the very brief penile-vagial contact.  It is exceedingly unlikely you caught any STD.  Personally, if I were in your situation, I would not be tested and I would continue unprotected sex with my wife with no worries of infecting her with anything.

I also recommend you stop examing yourself.  Anxious people who keep peering at their genitals often begin to notice minor normal variations in the skin and worry about them unnecessarily.  You should pledge to yourself not to look at your penis or genital area at all for the next month, except for the natural glance when you are using the bathroom.

I hope this helps.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[anxiousexec]

Thanks for all your help and just wanted to provide some feedback.

Although your advise should have been more than enough assurance I still felt compelled to be tested and I thougth it was important to share the results with the forum. The results are as follows:

14 days after exposure swab tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea = all negative

38 days after exposure urine test for  chlamydia and gonorrhea = all negative, blood testing for syphilis, HSV1/2 IgG, HIV antibody and Hepatitis B&C = all negative

I know that I was earlier than the window period you suggest for some of these tests but wanted the additional reassurance before the holiday weekend.  I don't believe I will be retested.  Also no symptoms at nearly 7 weeks now.

Again thanks for the great service.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Nearly zero.

This is absolutely the last comment on this thread.  This is not a psychological support service for people who will not or cannot accept scientific advice and reasoned reassurance.

[anxiousexec]

Thanks for your continued reassurance.  Sorry for being argumentative.  I hate to keep asking for further reasurance and undertand my exposure was not the type for infection but can you tell me what the odds are of a  50 year old women having STD's.

[anxiousexec]

Doctor, As much as I appreciate that the assurance you are trying to provide me that I do not have an STD I continue to worry.

I have since asked the women I was with why she was tested and she told me she worked in a hospital labratory for 20 years.  She says HIV, Hepatitis and Hepres II were all negative.

Based upon this new information I think I had a high risk exposure based upon her career.  I am thinking that HIV or Hepatitis is possible.

What are the chances I have HIV or Hepatitis from this exposure? I also continue to check for hepres 9 days post exposure.

Sorry for being a mental case.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Oral sex is safe sex -- not entirely without some risk, but with much lower STD transmission rates than vaginal or anal sex.  STD risk from vaginal is not affected by menstruation.

Any time any human being kisses another, there is probably a theoretical risk of oral herpes. But that risk is no higher from your recent partner than with any other person.  Oral herpes frequency is neither higher nor lower in people with other STDs.  And herpes is virtually never transmitted to body parts like nipples.

So my opinion and advice stands as above.  You should just put this event behind you and stop worrying about it.  

[anxiousexec]

Thanks for the quick response.  You have a great site!

You said safe sex but the oral sex was unprotected?  

Any issues with the brief vaginal being with her having her period?

Any chance of oral herpes from the kissing lips or nipples?