Protected oral and vaginal sex with an escort

[WorriedSick813]

Hello Doctors,

I am filled with regret after having an encounter with an escort yesterday.

I am a married male with children (one and another on the way) and I would die if I caught anything.

I received protected oral and protected vaginal sex.  The entire encounter lasted probably 15 minutes.  The condom stayed on the entire time and seemed snug.  I only took the condom off at the end when I asked the escort to allow me to masturbate to completion.  She never touched me with the condom off and I didn't touch her.

From reading on here it seems like this was very low risk, but I am riddled with guilt and wondering if I should go get testing for anything.  Please let me know if you feel I should get testing and if so for what and how long should I wait.  I am having trouble sleeping and eating because of my guilt and anxiety and am promising myself (once again) to never stray.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcomve bck to th forum.  Thanks for your question.

It seems that from your prior reading of discussions on this forum, you can predict my response.  Condoms work well to prevent STDs by vaginal sex, and oral sex carrlies only low risks for STDs, even unprotected -- and is certainly risk free with a condom.  Further, escorts (expensive sex workers by appointment) often are at low risk of having STDs, especially if they consistently use condoms with their clients, which seems to be the case here.

So I see no risk here.  I do not recommend STD testing, and believe you can safely continue unprotected sex with your wife.  That's that I would do if I ever found myself in your situation.  But if you find that my words don't settle the issue for you, and you would sleep better knowing you have been tested, you can have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia any time more than 3-4 days after the event, and blood tests for HIV and syphilis after 6 weeks.  But as I said, on a risk basis I see no need and wouldn't do it myself.

Best regards--  HHH, MD

[drec23]

A related discussion, sex with an escort was started.

[WorriedSick813]

I was half joking about the psychology forum...Though I do think I could benefit from some counseling (who couldn't?).  I think my issues may stem from the fact my dad cheated on my mom and abandoned me when I was little, and my mom who I was very close to passed away last year.

I don't need professional help to lick this though...it has stopped being enjoyable...the guilt and regret afterwards (and even during) is tremendous.  I am going to be 38 next month and I have a daughter being born in November.  It is time to grow up.  I have way too much to lose.

I assure you that from this day forward, I am done seeing escorts.  It is just not worth it.  The next time I even entertain the idea, I will just channel the way I am feeling now.  Sorry for the rambling and thanks for your help!

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Sounds like this is a serious psychological issue for you, but you aren't going to solve it on MedHelp's psychology (or any other) forum.  Probably that can't hurt, but I doubt you're going to be able to lick this without professional counseling in person.  Good luck.

[WorriedSick813]

Thanks for your quick response Doctor.  Your words really do put my mind at ease.  I may still do some follow up testing to be sure.  I don't know why I keep putting myself in this predicament.  I really love my family, but believe I have an addiction...a demon I've been dealing with for years that I thought I had under control.  Perhaps I can address that one in the psychology forum!

Thanks!!!