Aa
Seeking knowledge to balance my mental soundness
Been searching the web with little sleep since I found out yesterday about my new state. Though not officially diagnosed, my dr seems to believe it's herpes. Culture has been taken. waiting results. As I learned more about this I felt more confused and sicker emotionally. To my point, I had sexual relations with two men separately, guy a in Jan and guy b in february. My relation started with guy a beginning Jan and last sexual encounter with was Jan 28th. Things did not go well and I had quickly moved on to guy b who have been patiently pursuing me. I started my sexual relation with him in feb 4th and still seeing him only. My outbreak started on feb 14th. I finally mustered the courage to call guy a and asked that he be tested. Guy a mentioned that he had only been with one married woman between me and his ex girlfriend of 2 years. Other than that, guy a had kissed other women and that's it. Before his ex girlfriend, he was married for 13 years. So according to him, his history does not make him to be the guy to have transmitted this to me. I have read that I may be a classic true primary and that probably was exposed about 2 to 20 days ago. So it would rule out my ex boyfriend where our relationship terminated last year march, right? I'm trying to confirm guy a first before I approach anyone else.....I have been avoiding guy b like a plague....I'm the plague. Low self esteem, I know. I want to make sure that guy a gets the right test. I read so many inaccurate tests out there. Also, won't it be true his ex girlfriend or one night stand with that married woman could have transmitted to them, they would have gotten back to him by now. And if I had started with him around early Jan, won't I have my primary outbreak by end of Jan? Is there a chance he could have just gotten it around December and didn't know it and it be transmitted to me that quickly? I'm just thinking in that scenario, it won't show in his blood work yet, no?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. I'll try to help.
You don't say enough about the details of your symptoms for me to judge whether the diagnosis of initial genital herpes is correct -- but for this reply I will assume your doctor is right and your swb test (either culture or PCR) will be positive.
There is only one legitimate reason to sort out with any degree of certainty which of your partners might have been the source of your infection, and that is so the infected one can be aware, both to his own health benefit and to help him prevent infecting future partners. Your own curiosity, in itself, isn't really sufficient and doesn't really matter. But in the spirit of helping your partners, here are my thoughts.
While true that initial genital herpes symptoms can start 2-20 (I usually say 2 days to 3 weeks) after exposure, the large majority have onset of symptoms in under 10 days, usually only 3-5 days. So if I correctly understand the timing, that makes partner B (February) the more likely. I count 17 days from last sex with partner A (Jan 28 to Feb 14), which usually is too long. However, another issue is whether your infection is due to HSV-1 or HSV-2. Almost half of all new genital herpes infections are due to HSV-1, generally acquired by oral sex; whereas HSV-2 is acquired almost exclusively by genital intercourse. If you turn out to have HSV-1, and if one but not both your partnerships included cunnilingus, then that will help decide the source.
All else is speculation, it seems to me. Trying to sort out when and where one or the other might have acquired herpes -- while also recognizing that one who infected you might have oral but not genital herpes -- is too complex and too uncertain.
For these reasons, I fear you jumped the gun by calling partner A first; B is the probable source. But as I said, the virus type and oral versus genital exposure could change this. At this point, my advice is to await your swab test result, so you know the virus type, then get in touch with partner B.
My final advice is to go more slowly in general. You have been diagnosed only in the past day or so, and your thoughts, fears, and anxieties about the future are tumbling all over themselves. While nobody wants genital herpes, it definitely is not a "plague" and most cases settle into a state of inconvience and not much more. For the moment, focus on proper care for yourself. Most likely you are on one of the anti-herpes drugs; I certainly hope so. (If not, call your doc right away and get a presecription!)
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You don't say enough about the details of your symptoms for me to judge whether the diagnosis of initial genital herpes is correct -- but for this reply I will assume your doctor is right and your swb test (either culture or PCR) will be positive.
There is only one legitimate reason to sort out with any degree of certainty which of your partners might have been the source of your infection, and that is so the infected one can be aware, both to his own health benefit and to help him prevent infecting future partners. Your own curiosity, in itself, isn't really sufficient and doesn't really matter. But in the spirit of helping your partners, here are my thoughts.
While true that initial genital herpes symptoms can start 2-20 (I usually say 2 days to 3 weeks) after exposure, the large majority have onset of symptoms in under 10 days, usually only 3-5 days. So if I correctly understand the timing, that makes partner B (February) the more likely. I count 17 days from last sex with partner A (Jan 28 to Feb 14), which usually is too long. However, another issue is whether your infection is due to HSV-1 or HSV-2. Almost half of all new genital herpes infections are due to HSV-1, generally acquired by oral sex; whereas HSV-2 is acquired almost exclusively by genital intercourse. If you turn out to have HSV-1, and if one but not both your partnerships included cunnilingus, then that will help decide the source.
All else is speculation, it seems to me. Trying to sort out when and where one or the other might have acquired herpes -- while also recognizing that one who infected you might have oral but not genital herpes -- is too complex and too uncertain.
For these reasons, I fear you jumped the gun by calling partner A first; B is the probable source. But as I said, the virus type and oral versus genital exposure could change this. At this point, my advice is to await your swab test result, so you know the virus type, then get in touch with partner B.
My final advice is to go more slowly in general. You have been diagnosed only in the past day or so, and your thoughts, fears, and anxieties about the future are tumbling all over themselves. While nobody wants genital herpes, it definitely is not a "plague" and most cases settle into a state of inconvience and not much more. For the moment, focus on proper care for yourself. Most likely you are on one of the anti-herpes drugs; I certainly hope so. (If not, call your doc right away and get a presecription!)
Good luck-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
The HSV blood test says nothing about how long an infection has been present. However, a pair of tests often can nail it. If your swab test is negative, have an immediate blood test. Since it takes a minimum of 10 days and often 3-6 weeks to develop antibodies detected in the blood, it likely will be negative. You can then have another blood test at around 6 weeks, and perhaps yet another at 3-4 months. Conversion of negative to positive for HSV-2, for example, would mean you were recently infected. If your swab test is positive, the diangosis will be nailed and blood testing won't be necessary. (The nature of your symptoms is very strong evidence, all by itself, that this is an initial infection, not recurrent -- i.e. you haven't had herpes a long time.)
Thanks Dr. Handsfield. Will taking a blood work or some sort confirmed that this is a new infection and not something I had for months or years? I read somewhere that a new infection will not show up in the blood yet as it takes time for antibodies to form?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your symptoms indeed sound typical for initial genital herpes, probably a true primary infection. I suppose you may also have a UTI, but initial herpes alone can mimic UTI and cause similar changes on urinalysis. Same for yeast, although dual infections with herpes and yeast probably are pretty common. Most important, I'm glad to hear you're taking valacyclovir (Valtrex).
The information about sexual exposures with your partners doesn't change my view that partner B is the probable source; and that your infection probably is due to HSV-2, not HSV-1.
Don't get too concerned yet about recurrences and their prevention. That will come later. Unfortunately, the stories about healthy food and stress control are urban myths; they have little if any impact on recurrence frequency.
As for partner B's former partners, they could easily have escaped infection. Herpes transmission is hit or miss; many monogamous couples with one partner with HSV-2 have unprotected sex for years without transmission of the virus. Anyway, those partners could have been previously infected, and therefore immune; or could have been infected but had no symptoms.
The information about sexual exposures with your partners doesn't change my view that partner B is the probable source; and that your infection probably is due to HSV-2, not HSV-1.
Don't get too concerned yet about recurrences and their prevention. That will come later. Unfortunately, the stories about healthy food and stress control are urban myths; they have little if any impact on recurrence frequency.
As for partner B's former partners, they could easily have escaped infection. Herpes transmission is hit or miss; many monogamous couples with one partner with HSV-2 have unprotected sex for years without transmission of the virus. Anyway, those partners could have been previously infected, and therefore immune; or could have been infected but had no symptoms.
Sorry one more question. Won't partner b's ex girlfriends had contracted these from him as well? The initial thought everyone has is if their exes have not complained, then it's not them.
Thanks Dr. Hansfield. Hope you don't mind with a few more questions. I'll be happy to pay another fee. Let me know. My symptoms are lesions around labia, fevers to 101, flu like symptoms, burning sensation when urinating and general uncomfort in that region. I currently also have UTI and yeast infection. Is there a chance this could be dormant in me for a while or based on sudden outbreak with no prior symptoms that I have only recently been exposed to this? I am on valtrex now. Both partners are genital intercourse. In fact with partner b, we have not had cunnilingus at all. Cunnilingus and genital intercourse with partner a, yes. Is it true that eating healthy and less stress lessens the frequency of the reoccurrence? I really do appreciate your final advice. I'm so thankful for this forum.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Somewhere along the line, partner B definitely will need to be informed of your infection. Probably he is the source, as discussed above; but if A is the source (despite the atypical timing) then B was exposed at a time you probably were highly infectious, and of course would need to know that.
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
