Aa
Specific Qs about "fooling around" w/ someone when you have HSV2
Hello,
I've read through the forums but couldn't seem to find the exact answers I'm looking for as they relate to my specific situation. Moreover, I am a very healthy, active 25 year old female and was recently diagnosed with genital HSV2. I had an initial outbreak in response to an initial exposure (according to my Dr) about 2 months ago and have not had one since. I am taking daily suppressive therapy but am still extremely scared to "hook up" with anyone. Assuming I am asymptomatic, I am wondering what the risks of transmission are if:
1. a guy fingers me and does nothing else (should he immediately wash his hands...?)
2. a guy fingers me and puts his hands in or around HIS mouth/HIS genital area/HIS face
3. a guy fingers me and puts his finger in MY mouth/on MY face/or on/near my genitalia/anus?
4. if I were to finger myself and then touch a guy's genitals
I most definitely understand the importance of "having the talk" with any future sexual partners. However, I am wondering if it is necessary to disclose my "situation" in any (or all) of the four "hook up" scenarios mentioned above -if the likelihood of transmission ends up being very low? (I'm not saying that it is, I'm just wondering what your thoughts on this are if it is indeed the case). I'm very scared to hook up with anyone or having to face having the "talk" with a future partner. I'm also feeling incredibly lost and really appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions. Thank you very much.
I've read through the forums but couldn't seem to find the exact answers I'm looking for as they relate to my specific situation. Moreover, I am a very healthy, active 25 year old female and was recently diagnosed with genital HSV2. I had an initial outbreak in response to an initial exposure (according to my Dr) about 2 months ago and have not had one since. I am taking daily suppressive therapy but am still extremely scared to "hook up" with anyone. Assuming I am asymptomatic, I am wondering what the risks of transmission are if:
1. a guy fingers me and does nothing else (should he immediately wash his hands...?)
2. a guy fingers me and puts his hands in or around HIS mouth/HIS genital area/HIS face
3. a guy fingers me and puts his finger in MY mouth/on MY face/or on/near my genitalia/anus?
4. if I were to finger myself and then touch a guy's genitals
I most definitely understand the importance of "having the talk" with any future sexual partners. However, I am wondering if it is necessary to disclose my "situation" in any (or all) of the four "hook up" scenarios mentioned above -if the likelihood of transmission ends up being very low? (I'm not saying that it is, I'm just wondering what your thoughts on this are if it is indeed the case). I'm very scared to hook up with anyone or having to face having the "talk" with a future partner. I'm also feeling incredibly lost and really appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions. Thank you very much.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the STD forum. I'll try to help. Congratulations for an apparently level headed response to your own diagnosis and your responsibility in assuring you don't infect your partners.
You are involved in an extended discussion on the herpes community forum -- so extended I don't have time to read it all. But on skimming, it looks like you have had accurate replies.
As you likely know already, the 3 main ways to avoid transmitting HSV-2 to partners are 1) avoid sex during outbreaks, 2) use condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse, and 3) take anti-herpetic therapy to reduce viral shedding and transmission risk. You're doing the last and I imagine you are aware for 1 and 2.
Beyond those things, don't over-think it. You really don't need to worry about much else. HSV is not transmitted by hand-genital contact (or rarely enough to be disregarded). Those comments pretty much answer all 4 of your questions; none of the exposures you mention carried any appreciable risk of transmission to your partners. Even oral sex is safe. Assuming your initial herpes outbreak didn't include your mouth, your oral area probably isn't infected, so you can perform oral on partners without concern.
What HSV-2 infected persons say to their potential partners, and when, doesn't have rigid rules -- only common sense. Because the specific practices you mention didn't carry risk, it probably was OK not to tell those partners about your infection. On the other hand, how confident can you be that what starts as a safe hook-up won't progress to vaginal sex? (I do hope you carry condoms and are prepared to use them.) For some infected persons and some settings, it's probably best to be up front about your herpes from the beginning.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are involved in an extended discussion on the herpes community forum -- so extended I don't have time to read it all. But on skimming, it looks like you have had accurate replies.
As you likely know already, the 3 main ways to avoid transmitting HSV-2 to partners are 1) avoid sex during outbreaks, 2) use condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse, and 3) take anti-herpetic therapy to reduce viral shedding and transmission risk. You're doing the last and I imagine you are aware for 1 and 2.
Beyond those things, don't over-think it. You really don't need to worry about much else. HSV is not transmitted by hand-genital contact (or rarely enough to be disregarded). Those comments pretty much answer all 4 of your questions; none of the exposures you mention carried any appreciable risk of transmission to your partners. Even oral sex is safe. Assuming your initial herpes outbreak didn't include your mouth, your oral area probably isn't infected, so you can perform oral on partners without concern.
What HSV-2 infected persons say to their potential partners, and when, doesn't have rigid rules -- only common sense. Because the specific practices you mention didn't carry risk, it probably was OK not to tell those partners about your infection. On the other hand, how confident can you be that what starts as a safe hook-up won't progress to vaginal sex? (I do hope you carry condoms and are prepared to use them.) For some infected persons and some settings, it's probably best to be up front about your herpes from the beginning.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
HSV-2 infections apparently do not take hold in the mouth as readily as the genital area, but transmission could happen. The risk probably is very low, especially as long as you continue suppressive anti-herpes therapy, but you still should inform any potential cunnilingus partners of your infection.
Thank you for your response. I do have another question, this time regarding oral sex. As long as I'm not currently having an outbreak, is it ok for my partner to perform oral sex on me without risk of transmission? I've heard of people getting HSVI in their genital area from receiving oral sex from partners who had HSVI (oral). So is the same true in my situation -- can someone who is not infected perform oral sex on me (even though I'm taking as many precautions as possible, minus the dental dams people talk about) and catch HSV2 orally? Thanks for your time!
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
