Std exposure? stressing out

[Stressingoutjerry]

Doctors,  
I have read your forums like crazy for the past few years and I feel like I already know the answers to my questions but would feel a million times better having u say it lol.  In a long term monogamous relationship.  Got really intoxicated late Saturday night around midnight. A woman who I have known since childhood and is married for 10 years gave me unprotected oral sex.  I know that she is also in a monogamous relationship. In the past I have had cold sores(maybe once every 5 years they show up) so from reading your posts I assume there is no big risk for herpes... Since she had been monogamous, I'm also assuming no risk for oral gonnorhea?  But how much of a risk is NGU?  
Also that same night my friend who has had genital herpes for 20 yrs was having unprotected oral and protected sex with his usual sexual partner. I passed out and awoke to her giving me a hand job.  Now  I'm freaking out.  By reading your threads, I keep reading that herpes can't live outside the body & direct context must happen.  But I still need reassurance.   What are the chances that the virus could live on her hands, she touched other things in between and then touched me?  I know I'm probably making myself nuts.  It's now been 5 days.  Knock on wood, No symptoms besides me beating myself up over the guilt.  
So what are the chances?  How long before symptoms woukd show for NGU or thod type of herpes?. Am I being paranoid?  When can I resume unprotected sex with my mate?  I need to ease my mind :)

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You are being overly nervous. somewhere there is someone who probably claims that they developed NGU symptoms a month after exposure.  Bottom line, with each passing day the likelyhood of developing symptoms of NGU declines and your confidence should increase.  Our answers are tailored to the client. Your exposure was essentially no risk to begin with.  No change in my assessment or advice.

Finally, it is my sense that my efforts to help are simply feeding your unwarranted anxiety.  Therefore this iwll conclude this thread.  There will be no more answers and additional quesitons will be deleted withtou comment.  EWH

[Stressingoutjerry]

It's now day 7 and still no symptoms.  But I am trying to clear something up- on this post and many others, I see that you guys mention typical NGU symptoms are within 3-5 days.  But on one of your topics, I see 7-15 days listed.  Like this one talking about oral sex. http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/NGU-Gonorrhea-question/show/1704870 so which is it?  Also, at what day could one assume risk is completly over if they do not show symptoms of ngu and herpes? I thought I remember seeing you guys write never after 21 days for herpes and I don't remember what for NGU.  I just want to be clear.  I know u said I had very low risk, but I'm still quite scared and nervous.

[Stressingoutjerry]

Thank you very much.  Again I'm sorry for all the repeadedness.  I just want to make sure I don't cause more problems

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Web sites that use broader time frames do so so that they will always be right.  In addition, for genitally acquired NSU, chlamydia is often the cause (it is not for oral infections) and chlmydia has a longer incubation period than many other STIs.  EWH

[Stressingoutjerry]

i know I am overdoing it, but most sites on the web say If signs and symptoms do occur they usually show up within 2–4 weeks of contact with an infection of NSU...is this accurate?  i know you said earlier 4-5 days and that i really should be "home free"   is that just because it was oral??   Im sorry to keep bothering you, but I am back to being paranoid...i just don't want to infect my partner if anything is indeed wrong...

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes, you are almost certainly "home free".

thanks for the clarification- still no risk.  EWH

[Stressingoutjerry]

Oh and on my first question about the oral sex, the male had genital herpes, she definitely touched him unprotected when giving him oral.  They had unprotected sex. 30 mins or so I awoke to her touching me- probably with the same hands she was using on him during oral 30 mins prior.  I'm sure this makes no difference to what u said, but just clarifying.   Thank you so much.

[Stressingoutjerry]

Last question- if I do not have NGU symptoms after today (day 5) should I be "home free?"  Like I said, I just don't want to infect my mate.  I know she will be wanting to fool around this weekend, and I just want to be as careful as possible without drawing suspicion.  Again l, I'm sorry.  I just have never been in this situation before and it's awful.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I think you are over thinking this. Try not to worry.

As for the issue of oral sex from a partner- it is a chance event which is more likely to occur with a new partner than a regular partner.  different peole have different bacteria in their mouths- all normal but the change can cause transitent irritation in some.  This is really not something to worry about.

As for whether your other friend might have had dsomething or somehow transferred it to you in one of the "what it" situations you describe, again, i would not worry.  No change in my assessment or advice.

Please chill out.  EWH

[Stressingoutjerry]

30 mins to an hour. Not three.  Sorry for the typo

[Stressingoutjerry]

Thank you so much as I feel a million times better already.  i figured as much woth the masterbation, but was just nervous that in sone point in the night she gave him oral like 3 mins to an hour before and she might have tried to also lick my penis.  I pulled away, so im not even sure it mafe resl contact. I am just confused about NGU and oral bacteria.  I am 40 years old and recieve oral sex frequently from my partner and had in my other sexual relations in years past- the oral bacterial that cause the NGU, would it cause NGU in anyone?  For ecsmple- Lets say the same person gave two people oral sex, would they both pose the same risk to each person, or is it based on reactions to each individual person?  I've been reading a lot about NGU and I'm just so confused.  If its normal bacteria and I recieve oral 100 times a year, would I eventually get it?  What makes certain bacteria react and done not?  Sorry for the multiple ?s, but I just need to clarify what the actual risk is each time?  Is it 1/100, 1/1000, 1/10000?  Most importantly, if I don't have discharge or pain after today (day5) should I not worry at all?  Sorry. My XAnex is starting to wear off.  But in all seriousness, I know my mind is going nuts and I'm over thinking.  I just don't want my significant other to be at risk, as this us the first time something like this had happened, and the good that came out of it is that I have quit drinking.  Thanks in advance.  U guys are truly so helpful and I can't express my thankfulness.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for your efforts to look into our advice for clients in similar situations.  Your assessments are on target and thus, I believe much of what I am about to write will be largely confirmatory for you.  

You have a very friendly group of friends.  Fortunately, the risk for STIs from each of the activities you describe is quite small.  The partner who you received oral sex from sounds quite low risk for STI and receipt of oral sex is a low risk activity even if she happened to be infected.  Since you already have HSV-1 (cold sores), I agree that there is no meaningful risk for herpes from the encounter and gonorrhea is likewise most unlikely.  As for NGU, if you did get NGU it would likely result from introduction of your partner's oral bacteria into your urethra and would be unlikely to cause problems.  Were you to develop NGU, you would develop signs of infection such as true burning on urination or a urethral discharge within 4-5 days of the exposure.  Personally, I think this too is unlikely and would not worry if I were you.

Regarding your other event and the receipt of masturbation, HSV is not transmitted from person to person on person's hands and thus this was a no risk event, despite the possibility that your partner had herpes herself.

My global advice for you is to not worry and move forward without concern.  there is no meaningful risk for STIs from the encounters you describe.  EWH