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VERY ANXIOUS -- PLEASE HELP
Dear Doctor:
Hopefully you can help ease my worries...
I'm involved in a year-long relationship with a woman who is HSV-2 positive. She has been taking 500mg Valtrex daily for a year and has not had an outbreak for almost a year and a half.
I am HSV-1 positive. Up until the most recent sexual encounter, which I discuss in the next paragraph, I am certain that I was HSV-2 negative, as evidenced by a type-specific blood test 15-16 weeks after our second-to-last sexual contact. I was also tested at several other times during our relationship and all tests were negative.
Our last sexual contact was 4 weeks ago (I was wearing a condom). About 10 days later, I was touching my scrotum and felt a "sore" spot on my left testicle. I looked down and saw that the area that was sore happened to be right around a hair follicle. There was nothing there though; no redness, no blisters and no bumps. I scratched it a bit and thought nothing more of it.
The next morning, I saw that I had a single open sore about 1cm long in that area. The sore was a bit "damp" but did otherwise not look like a herpes sore; it was red but did not contain that yellowish-gray cloud or exudate that classical herpes sores contain. It was also only slightly painful when touched but otherwise I wouldn't have even known it was there. There were absolutely NO sores or lesions on my penis or anywhere else. There was also no tingling, prodrome, or swollen nodes.
The sore started to scab over within a day and healed completely in 4-5 days. I went to a dermatologist about 3 days after the sore occurred. He said that he really did not think it was herpes but could not be 100% sure. I then had a blood test for Herpes 2 (about two and a half weeks post exposure) which came out negative.
My questions are:
1) Does that single sore on my testicles sound like herpes? You have previously stated that sores on the testicles are uncommon with herpes and that symptomatic herpes almost always causes lesions on the penis, which I did not have.
2) Does the fact that I am HSV-1 positive mean that a subsequent HSV-2 infection would be "atypical" or "mild", and involve the scrotum but not the penis?
3) If not herpes, what could it be? I don't remember scratching my scrotum hard enough to cause a sore, but then again, it's possible.
4) It has now been 4 weeks post-exposure and I want to get tested again. The information about seroconversion times is very inconsistent. What percentage of people seroconvert by 4 weeks? By 6 weeks?
I know that, statistically speaking, there is a very low chance of infection from one exposure, not to mention the fact that my girlfriend has been on Valtrex daily for a year and that we used a condom. Nevertheless, I cannot shake my fear of the disease and this is causing me (and her) substantial anxiety and is interfering with our sex life. Please help.
P.S. I am in counseling about my anxieties and relationship.
Hopefully you can help ease my worries...
I'm involved in a year-long relationship with a woman who is HSV-2 positive. She has been taking 500mg Valtrex daily for a year and has not had an outbreak for almost a year and a half.
I am HSV-1 positive. Up until the most recent sexual encounter, which I discuss in the next paragraph, I am certain that I was HSV-2 negative, as evidenced by a type-specific blood test 15-16 weeks after our second-to-last sexual contact. I was also tested at several other times during our relationship and all tests were negative.
Our last sexual contact was 4 weeks ago (I was wearing a condom). About 10 days later, I was touching my scrotum and felt a "sore" spot on my left testicle. I looked down and saw that the area that was sore happened to be right around a hair follicle. There was nothing there though; no redness, no blisters and no bumps. I scratched it a bit and thought nothing more of it.
The next morning, I saw that I had a single open sore about 1cm long in that area. The sore was a bit "damp" but did otherwise not look like a herpes sore; it was red but did not contain that yellowish-gray cloud or exudate that classical herpes sores contain. It was also only slightly painful when touched but otherwise I wouldn't have even known it was there. There were absolutely NO sores or lesions on my penis or anywhere else. There was also no tingling, prodrome, or swollen nodes.
The sore started to scab over within a day and healed completely in 4-5 days. I went to a dermatologist about 3 days after the sore occurred. He said that he really did not think it was herpes but could not be 100% sure. I then had a blood test for Herpes 2 (about two and a half weeks post exposure) which came out negative.
My questions are:
1) Does that single sore on my testicles sound like herpes? You have previously stated that sores on the testicles are uncommon with herpes and that symptomatic herpes almost always causes lesions on the penis, which I did not have.
2) Does the fact that I am HSV-1 positive mean that a subsequent HSV-2 infection would be "atypical" or "mild", and involve the scrotum but not the penis?
3) If not herpes, what could it be? I don't remember scratching my scrotum hard enough to cause a sore, but then again, it's possible.
4) It has now been 4 weeks post-exposure and I want to get tested again. The information about seroconversion times is very inconsistent. What percentage of people seroconvert by 4 weeks? By 6 weeks?
I know that, statistically speaking, there is a very low chance of infection from one exposure, not to mention the fact that my girlfriend has been on Valtrex daily for a year and that we used a condom. Nevertheless, I cannot shake my fear of the disease and this is causing me (and her) substantial anxiety and is interfering with our sex life. Please help.
P.S. I am in counseling about my anxieties and relationship.
I basically tell them at the 3 week mark of getting to know them if they're worth my time and i want to get to know them. At that point there's no real feelings involved and its easier to go our separate ways.
I wish you all the best too. I'm going to a counseling session in a few days maybe it will help..who knows...
I wish you all the best too. I'm going to a counseling session in a few days maybe it will help..who knows...
hi jane,
at what point in a new relationship do you tell your partner that you have the virus? it sounds like the majority of your experiences have been good ones.
i also wish you the best of luck in your relationship -- i hope it all works out for you!
at what point in a new relationship do you tell your partner that you have the virus? it sounds like the majority of your experiences have been good ones.
i also wish you the best of luck in your relationship -- i hope it all works out for you!
My girlfriend has HSV-1 genital herpes. She got it at age 17 and hasn't had a single outbreak since. I have no STD's prior to this relationship and it has caused a bunch of anxiety in our relationship. We've had unprotected sex and recently unprotected sex when I had had a open cut on my penis. She says she isn't very contagious because her last boyfriend and her never used a condom for a year and a half and tested negative for it. I am having a lot of anxiety, should i worry?
this is an entirely new question -- you should start a new thread.
This was never an issue in other relationships. I got herpes from the first guy i ever slept with at age 24.The other two people did not have an issue but this is the relationship that matters most to me.This is the one that's worth fighting for.The other two indiviuals didn't place health as a priority in thieir life but my boyfriend does. I never gave him a time and said that "I had it" we are still together and not having sex. But like I said before it's coming to an end soon.
On one level, she is very undersranding, yet, there is no way she would have waited for 8 months for sex. I've had to make many excuses not to have sex, especially if I had a scratch or abrasion on my penis which I feared would make it easier to get the virus. It really has caused a lot of anxiety in the relationship.
At what point did you tell your boyfriend that you had it? Was it an issue in other relationships?
At what point did you tell your boyfriend that you had it? Was it an issue in other relationships?
He got tested one time about a month ago. He hasn't gotten tested since the last time we had sex. It's interesting talking to you because I guess I think it will make me understand his feeling more. I am in a place where this virus has to not be a big deal because I have no other choice but to think that. On the other hand he doesn't want the outbreaks, mental anguish etc and he still has the choice.How does your girl feel about your anxiety? Is she understanding? Another thing that my boyfriend was trying to find was a support group for discordant couples with HSV-2. Couldn't find one either.All of the support groups is geared toward people living with Herpes.
I do it for two reasons: for her and because I want to get over it. And for a while, it works, up until I get an itch or a scratch down there and then I freak out again. And when that happens, I start getting tested again. It's totally crazy. Does he test himself periodically too?
I'm 31 and he's 38. But age has nothing to do with it. It's the type of person that he is. Do you guys have good communication in the realtionship? because that's half the burden. We communitcate about everything. Let me ask you a question if you have bad anxiety why do you still sleep with her. ( i'm being a devils advocate)You wanna get over it? you do it for her?
I'm sure there are lots of support groups where I live...I live in a large city. Therapy and counseling may be good for you guys, depending on what his personality is like. I tend to be an obsessive person in general, and that's why it's harder for me to get past my fear of the disease.
Out of curiosity, how old are you guys? You sound like a very patient person, which is good in situations like this.
Out of curiosity, how old are you guys? You sound like a very patient person, which is good in situations like this.
Well we don't have any deadlines set to break up. I haven't given him a deadline. I am trying to find a solution to this but there's only so much to try. I understand why you're anxious about the virus and I understand that you don't want to get it. Figure out if its worth the effort. My boyfriend and I love each other and we are willing to try everything until there's nothing else. At that point if his peace of mind means more to him then we won't be together. That's where we're at. We are going to try counseling next. Do you have support groups where you live? Where we are the support groups are inactive so there's nothing. To answer your previous question...my boyfriend did get tested he's negative.
Our situations are almost identical. We also didn't have sex for about 3 months, then had sex (very infrequently) for about 3-4 months, and then stopped again. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for other things and have spoken to him about this as well -- it really hasn't helped that much and his basic advice is to go with my gut feeling.
I'm thinking about seeing a sex therapist but don't know if that will make any difference. I'm just tired of this whole thing. It's amazing that you have lasted this long without sex for 8 months. My girlfriend was giving me "deadlines" that, if we couldn't have sex by a certain time, then we were going to break up. How's it for you guys?
I'm thinking about seeing a sex therapist but don't know if that will make any difference. I'm just tired of this whole thing. It's amazing that you have lasted this long without sex for 8 months. My girlfriend was giving me "deadlines" that, if we couldn't have sex by a certain time, then we were going to break up. How's it for you guys?
Lets see..after I told him, we had sex for about 2 or 3 months then we decided to hold out for a while until he figures it out. We didn't have sex for about 8 months and then we did again for a month about 3 weeks ago was the last time. Yes he does check himself and he doesn't want to live like this. He's has been willing to try different things to make it work but I think my luck is running thin.Its not that i'm not the one for him because everything else is perfect, just thus.
Does the counseling for anxiety help you? because I was thinking of us going to see someone for that.
Does the counseling for anxiety help you? because I was thinking of us going to see someone for that.
hi jane,
our situations are very similar! i don't know what it is, but for some reason i have a hang-up about this whole thing. i realize on an intellectual level that it's not a big deal, but i am still anxious every time we have sex. my biggest fear is that i get it, then we break up, and then i'm screwed. maybe i just have my doubts about the relationship and am using herpes as a convenient scapegoat. if i knew for sure that i found the right person, then, herpes becomes a non-issue. i don't know what to think anymore but something's got to give.
how often do you and your boyfriend have sex? is he always checking himself afterwards? has he even been tested?
our situations are very similar! i don't know what it is, but for some reason i have a hang-up about this whole thing. i realize on an intellectual level that it's not a big deal, but i am still anxious every time we have sex. my biggest fear is that i get it, then we break up, and then i'm screwed. maybe i just have my doubts about the relationship and am using herpes as a convenient scapegoat. if i knew for sure that i found the right person, then, herpes becomes a non-issue. i don't know what to think anymore but something's got to give.
how often do you and your boyfriend have sex? is he always checking himself afterwards? has he even been tested?
This discussion is so up my alley. I am HSV2 positive and my boyfriend isn't. We've been together for about 14 months and we are at the point now where he can't deal with the situation. He basically doesn't want this virus and if there is no guarantee that he will not get it then he doesn't want to. His point is that he still has the choice now in this matter. He has spoken to people in person, online,. We have seen one person together. Is the counseling helping you get over the anxiety? I have never had an outbreak since the initial 5 yrs ago.I got the Vlatrex a few days ago to see if this will help the anxiety but I doubt it.....Maybe you guys need to talk.
Well, I think I actually already addressed your concerns - aside from the medication cost. Admittedly, if I really needed Valtrex for suppressive therapy all the time, not just for a few days before sex with other partners, and didn't have insurance it would be pretty expensive - probably prohibitively so. But that's the only real issue I see.
As for the rest, even people with recurrent outbreaks will find they decline in frequency and severity over time. But even so, while I agree painful ulcers are hardly something to look forward to, they aren't gonna kill you. It's like anything else that causes discomfort. Right now I have a huge, deep scrape on my back from a little accident I had while camping this weekend. So I got hurt; so what. It stings a little, but I reckon I'll live. Same with herpes, or yeast infections, or whatever.
Despite being married I have additional partners, so I also have experience risking the rejection you fear, yet so far I've never had anyone reject me because of my STD status. Granted, I tend to move in an openminded, sexually experienced, and liberal group; if I were meeting my partners at church picnics my experience would probably be quite different. But even then, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
And regarding worrying about transmitting it to someone else, well, that's simply not my responsibility. I educate myself and my partners on the risks, and then let them decide for themselves whether they think the risk is worthwhile. No one has ever decided it wasn't, but if they did that would be okay with me. The fact is, everything worthwhile in life involves a risk. As Dr. Handsfield has said, if you really want to be careful, don't cross the street...
Here's my personal perspective on this issue: you're far, far more likely to develop a serious chronic illness than you are any STD, yet what do some people worry about? Apparently, a relatively harmless STD. It's just absurd. Over 20 million people in the US right now have diabetes: think of what that means, and the complications they face as a result. Two thirds of Americans are overweight. We drink too much, smoke, eat diets loaded with animal fats and sugar. We don't take our meds, or follow our doctor's advice. But our sex phobic society deems it okay to be overweight, not exercise, spend hours in the sun, not wear seatbelts - risking serious, life threatening illnesses, all the while condemning people for having healthy sex lives and risking contracting treatable or curable illnesses. The double standard is ridiculous. I guarantee that if you caught herpes from someone sneezing on you, it'd be treated like the complete non-event it really is.
Good luck with counseling and your relationship. I hope things work out the way you'd like.
As for the rest, even people with recurrent outbreaks will find they decline in frequency and severity over time. But even so, while I agree painful ulcers are hardly something to look forward to, they aren't gonna kill you. It's like anything else that causes discomfort. Right now I have a huge, deep scrape on my back from a little accident I had while camping this weekend. So I got hurt; so what. It stings a little, but I reckon I'll live. Same with herpes, or yeast infections, or whatever.
Despite being married I have additional partners, so I also have experience risking the rejection you fear, yet so far I've never had anyone reject me because of my STD status. Granted, I tend to move in an openminded, sexually experienced, and liberal group; if I were meeting my partners at church picnics my experience would probably be quite different. But even then, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
And regarding worrying about transmitting it to someone else, well, that's simply not my responsibility. I educate myself and my partners on the risks, and then let them decide for themselves whether they think the risk is worthwhile. No one has ever decided it wasn't, but if they did that would be okay with me. The fact is, everything worthwhile in life involves a risk. As Dr. Handsfield has said, if you really want to be careful, don't cross the street...
Here's my personal perspective on this issue: you're far, far more likely to develop a serious chronic illness than you are any STD, yet what do some people worry about? Apparently, a relatively harmless STD. It's just absurd. Over 20 million people in the US right now have diabetes: think of what that means, and the complications they face as a result. Two thirds of Americans are overweight. We drink too much, smoke, eat diets loaded with animal fats and sugar. We don't take our meds, or follow our doctor's advice. But our sex phobic society deems it okay to be overweight, not exercise, spend hours in the sun, not wear seatbelts - risking serious, life threatening illnesses, all the while condemning people for having healthy sex lives and risking contracting treatable or curable illnesses. The double standard is ridiculous. I guarantee that if you caught herpes from someone sneezing on you, it'd be treated like the complete non-event it really is.
Good luck with counseling and your relationship. I hope things work out the way you'd like.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
No provider is 100% correct in diagnosing herpes (or ruling it out) by visual exam. But providers make conclusions not just on a single factor, but on the entire complex of available information. See my list of reasons a-d of why you don't have herpes. Neither I nor your dermatologist was relying solely on the appearance of the lesion.
I don't have special advice. I view my role as statement of facts and probabilities about epidemiology, transmission, and disease processes. Accurate information alone doesn't typically resolve anxieties, but it can never hurt, and is always a prerequisite for emotional resoluation.
The main thing in adjusting to life in a herpes discordant relationship is to decide it doesn't matter much if you get infected. Most people come to realize genital herpes is mostly a trivial disease and, if transmission occurs, a small price to pay for the other advantages of a loving, caring relationship. Nobody wants to get it, but it really is a trivial disease most of the time, except for the risk of transmitting to another person--which is an issue only if your present relationship doesn't last and you find yourself dating again. Even then, most infected people don't find it all that hard to deal with.
You will get much better feedback from other sources about other couples' experience with herpes than you will on this forum. The American Social Health Association herpes information line would be a good place to start (www.ashastd.org).
HHH, MD
I don't have special advice. I view my role as statement of facts and probabilities about epidemiology, transmission, and disease processes. Accurate information alone doesn't typically resolve anxieties, but it can never hurt, and is always a prerequisite for emotional resoluation.
The main thing in adjusting to life in a herpes discordant relationship is to decide it doesn't matter much if you get infected. Most people come to realize genital herpes is mostly a trivial disease and, if transmission occurs, a small price to pay for the other advantages of a loving, caring relationship. Nobody wants to get it, but it really is a trivial disease most of the time, except for the risk of transmitting to another person--which is an issue only if your present relationship doesn't last and you find yourself dating again. Even then, most infected people don't find it all that hard to deal with.
You will get much better feedback from other sources about other couples' experience with herpes than you will on this forum. The American Social Health Association herpes information line would be a good place to start (www.ashastd.org).
HHH, MD
Thanks so much for your input. I guess the main reason why I, and other people, would be afraid to get it is that we fear rejection in case our current relationship does not work out. Herpes in and of itself does not seem to be a problem, it's just that the chance of transmitting it to another is the problem. If it was not contagious, then there would be no issue, as long as the condition did not cause an inordinate amount of pain to the person suffering from it. Migraine headaches are not contagious, but, I'm sure it's no fun to have them.
This begs the question: if herpes isn't such a problem, why would anyone mind getting it? In other words, why would someone fear having the disease transmitted to them? One of the problems is that there is no guarantee that, if you have herpes, you will be asymptomatic. You might have it bad. And who wants to have recurrent, painful ulcers on their genitals, or anywhere else for that matter? I know you can take medication, but medication isn't free, and that would be an additional expense someone would have to incur. In other words, why complicate your life?
What do you think?
This begs the question: if herpes isn't such a problem, why would anyone mind getting it? In other words, why would someone fear having the disease transmitted to them? One of the problems is that there is no guarantee that, if you have herpes, you will be asymptomatic. You might have it bad. And who wants to have recurrent, painful ulcers on their genitals, or anywhere else for that matter? I know you can take medication, but medication isn't free, and that would be an additional expense someone would have to incur. In other words, why complicate your life?
What do you think?
As someone with both HSV1 and 2, I can tell you that having herpes is NOTHING to worry about. I think of it as the common cold of sex, lol. For one thing, look at your gf's experience with it. If she hasn't had an outbreak in almost two years (and I've never had a recognizable outbreak), just how bad can it really be? Even for those with recurrent outbreaks, it's treatable/manageable, and the frequency and severity will decline over time. I think what's got you freaked is the stigma associated with having a STD. But try to look at this differently. Is there anything REALLY so bad about any STD? I mean, any more than any other illness? What's the problem with an illness that is mostly asymptomatic and won't hurt you?
You might feel better hearing my experience, because I deal with having herpes from both sides (I'm married, in an open relationship). I found out because I specifically asked to be tested for herpes. My husband decided not to get tested, but to simply assume he has it and act accordingly. We have unprotected sex with each other, but always use condoms with other partners (we would anyway, of course). I also use Valtrex for a few days before having sex with others, just as an extra precautionary measure. I've yet to have anyone refuse sex with me, and no one has ever shunned me because of it. I can't even say I wish I didn't have it, because herpes really hasn't impacted my life in the slightest.
But it IS impacting your life, far, far more than is warranted. I'm so glad you're in counseling over this. Hopefully you're seeing a sex-positive, knowledgeable therapist, but if not, I'd suggest seeing a sex therapist instead. They're regular therapists with extra training in sexuality, and are probably more likely to be knowledgeable about STDs and relationship and sexuality issues in general.
You might feel better hearing my experience, because I deal with having herpes from both sides (I'm married, in an open relationship). I found out because I specifically asked to be tested for herpes. My husband decided not to get tested, but to simply assume he has it and act accordingly. We have unprotected sex with each other, but always use condoms with other partners (we would anyway, of course). I also use Valtrex for a few days before having sex with others, just as an extra precautionary measure. I've yet to have anyone refuse sex with me, and no one has ever shunned me because of it. I can't even say I wish I didn't have it, because herpes really hasn't impacted my life in the slightest.
But it IS impacting your life, far, far more than is warranted. I'm so glad you're in counseling over this. Hopefully you're seeing a sex-positive, knowledgeable therapist, but if not, I'd suggest seeing a sex therapist instead. They're regular therapists with extra training in sexuality, and are probably more likely to be knowledgeable about STDs and relationship and sexuality issues in general.
Well, I think I actually already addressed your concerns - aside from the medication cost. Admittedly, if I really needed Valtrex for suppressive therapy all the time, not just for a few days before sex with other partners, and didn't have insurance it would be pretty expensive - probably prohibitively so. But that's the only real issue I see.
As for the rest, even people with recurrent outbreaks will find they decline in frequency and severity over time. But even so, while I agree painful ulcers are hardly something to look forward to, they aren't gonna kill you. It's like anything else that causes discomfort. Right now I have a huge, deep scrape on my back from a little accident I had while camping this weekend. So I got hurt; so what. It stings a little, but I reckon I'll live. Same with herpes, or yeast infections, or whatever.
Despite being married I have additional partners, so I also have experience risking the rejection you fear, yet so far I've never had anyone reject me because of my STD status. Granted, I tend to move in an openminded, sexually experienced, and liberal group; if I were meeting my partners at church picnics my experience would probably be quite different. But even then, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
And regarding worrying about transmitting it to someone else, well, that's simply not my responsibility. I educate myself and my partners on the risks, and then let them decide for themselves whether they think the risk is worthwhile. No one has ever decided it wasn't, but if they did that would be okay with me. The fact is, everything worthwhile in life involves a risk. As Dr. Handsfield has said, if you really want to be careful, don't cross the street...
Here's my personal perspective on this issue: you're far, far more likely to develop a serious chronic illness than you are any STD, yet what do some people worry about? Apparently, a relatively harmless STD. It's just absurd. Over 20 million people in the US right now have diabetes: think of what that means, and the complications they face as a result. Two thirds of Americans are overweight. We drink too much, smoke, eat diets loaded with animal fats and sugar. We don't take our meds, or follow our doctor's advice. But our sex phobic society deems it okay to be overweight, not exercise, spend hours in the sun, not wear seatbelts - risking serious, life threatening illnesses, all the while condemning people for having healthy sex lives and risking contracting treatable or curable illnesses. The double standard is ridiculous. I guarantee that if you caught herpes from someone sneezing on you, it'd be treated like the complete non-event it really is.
Good luck with counseling and your relationship. I hope things work out the way you'd like.
As for the rest, even people with recurrent outbreaks will find they decline in frequency and severity over time. But even so, while I agree painful ulcers are hardly something to look forward to, they aren't gonna kill you. It's like anything else that causes discomfort. Right now I have a huge, deep scrape on my back from a little accident I had while camping this weekend. So I got hurt; so what. It stings a little, but I reckon I'll live. Same with herpes, or yeast infections, or whatever.
Despite being married I have additional partners, so I also have experience risking the rejection you fear, yet so far I've never had anyone reject me because of my STD status. Granted, I tend to move in an openminded, sexually experienced, and liberal group; if I were meeting my partners at church picnics my experience would probably be quite different. But even then, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
And regarding worrying about transmitting it to someone else, well, that's simply not my responsibility. I educate myself and my partners on the risks, and then let them decide for themselves whether they think the risk is worthwhile. No one has ever decided it wasn't, but if they did that would be okay with me. The fact is, everything worthwhile in life involves a risk. As Dr. Handsfield has said, if you really want to be careful, don't cross the street...
Here's my personal perspective on this issue: you're far, far more likely to develop a serious chronic illness than you are any STD, yet what do some people worry about? Apparently, a relatively harmless STD. It's just absurd. Over 20 million people in the US right now have diabetes: think of what that means, and the complications they face as a result. Two thirds of Americans are overweight. We drink too much, smoke, eat diets loaded with animal fats and sugar. We don't take our meds, or follow our doctor's advice. But our sex phobic society deems it okay to be overweight, not exercise, spend hours in the sun, not wear seatbelts - risking serious, life threatening illnesses, all the while condemning people for having healthy sex lives and risking contracting treatable or curable illnesses. The double standard is ridiculous. I guarantee that if you caught herpes from someone sneezing on you, it'd be treated like the complete non-event it really is.
Good luck with counseling and your relationship. I hope things work out the way you'd like.
Thank you, Doctor. You provide an invaluable service here!
A follow-up question: you mentioned that I can rely on my dermatologist's opinion. However, since herpes can present atypically, how can a doctor know simply by appearance whether a lesion is herpes or not? In other words, does even atypical herpes usually have "something" that suggests herpes?
Also, I know you are not a psychiatrist, but, I do value your input. In your experience, how does someone "get over" his fear of this disease? Is it possible to do so? Does herpes usually remain an issue with serodiscordant couples? I would love to hear from other forum participants about their thoughts!
Thank you again for everything.
A follow-up question: you mentioned that I can rely on my dermatologist's opinion. However, since herpes can present atypically, how can a doctor know simply by appearance whether a lesion is herpes or not? In other words, does even atypical herpes usually have "something" that suggests herpes?
Also, I know you are not a psychiatrist, but, I do value your input. In your experience, how does someone "get over" his fear of this disease? Is it possible to do so? Does herpes usually remain an issue with serodiscordant couples? I would love to hear from other forum participants about their thoughts!
Thank you again for everything.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Here is why you probalby do not have genital HSV-2. a) The risk of catching HSV-2 from a partner on suppressive antiviral therapy is extremely low, perhaps zero, in the presence of antiviral therapy, consistent condom use, and avoidance of sex when the infected person has an outbreak. Under these circumstances, you could marry the lady and have sex with her daily for the rest of your life, and probably never catch HSV-2. b) Genital herpes does not commonly affect the scrotum; 90% of initial cases are right where you would expect them, on the penis. c) You describe symptoms of classical folliculitis (hair follicle infection) of the scrotum. d) Dermatologists are highly expert at recognizing herpes and he didn't think you had it. To answer your specific questions:
1) No, your symptoms do not suggest herpes. See above.
2) People with prior HSV-1 tend to have less severe symptoms during the first infection if they later get HSV-2. But this is only the average; the possibilities remain all over the map, from very mild (or no) symptoms to severe ones.
3) Folliculitis sounds like a good bet. But I'm only guessing and cannot diagnose anything by online description.
4) On the basis if your description, I see no need for you to be retested for HSV-2 infection at this time.
Congratulations on being in counseling for the anxieties that your question implies. Make sure the counselor knows what I have said about the low likelihood of your having herpes.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
1) No, your symptoms do not suggest herpes. See above.
2) People with prior HSV-1 tend to have less severe symptoms during the first infection if they later get HSV-2. But this is only the average; the possibilities remain all over the map, from very mild (or no) symptoms to severe ones.
3) Folliculitis sounds like a good bet. But I'm only guessing and cannot diagnose anything by online description.
4) On the basis if your description, I see no need for you to be retested for HSV-2 infection at this time.
Congratulations on being in counseling for the anxieties that your question implies. Make sure the counselor knows what I have said about the low likelihood of your having herpes.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
