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Weekend Affair
I have been with my husband for 12 years and married for 10. We are both clear for STDs and HIV and have been tested before.
On Friday I flew out of state to see an old friend and things got out of hand, turning our friendly weekend into a three day affair. We had unprotected vaginal and anal sex and I performed oral sex on him. We kissed a lot and had multiple relations. It was a hot and heavy weekend.
Towards the end of the weekend I learned that he has been with multiple partners and that he does not use protection. We are both 29 and I panicked. I have already told my husband about the weekend and although we are trying to work out our marital issues I am now worried about HIV and all of the other STDs I could have contracted.
I have an IUD which hopefully rules out pregnancy but:
1 - What else should I be worried about contracting and how soon can I get tested?
2 - What would I test myself for and in what intervals?
3 - When would I have enough testing behind me to know what I have or don't have?
I can't possibly touch or kiss my husband until I know what I have or don't have. As far as symptoms go I went out drinking on Wednesday and was very sick with diarrhea and dizziness all day Thursday. I am not a drinker and only had 2 strong drinks but am guessing this is from the alcohol and not the weekend of infidelity. Being someone who doesn't drink I am not sure what it is supposed to feel like the next day or what it would take to get me hungover. I have a sore throat that developed Wednesday morning but I also shut the bedroom door and ran the heater all night on Tuesday. Guess that would account for the throat but not sure. It's still a little raw today but not too bad and I have no fever. I am coughing with a dry cough and my nose has been dripping and congested on the one side but I have also been crying a lot over the past few days.
Thank you in advance for answering.
On Friday I flew out of state to see an old friend and things got out of hand, turning our friendly weekend into a three day affair. We had unprotected vaginal and anal sex and I performed oral sex on him. We kissed a lot and had multiple relations. It was a hot and heavy weekend.
Towards the end of the weekend I learned that he has been with multiple partners and that he does not use protection. We are both 29 and I panicked. I have already told my husband about the weekend and although we are trying to work out our marital issues I am now worried about HIV and all of the other STDs I could have contracted.
I have an IUD which hopefully rules out pregnancy but:
1 - What else should I be worried about contracting and how soon can I get tested?
2 - What would I test myself for and in what intervals?
3 - When would I have enough testing behind me to know what I have or don't have?
I can't possibly touch or kiss my husband until I know what I have or don't have. As far as symptoms go I went out drinking on Wednesday and was very sick with diarrhea and dizziness all day Thursday. I am not a drinker and only had 2 strong drinks but am guessing this is from the alcohol and not the weekend of infidelity. Being someone who doesn't drink I am not sure what it is supposed to feel like the next day or what it would take to get me hungover. I have a sore throat that developed Wednesday morning but I also shut the bedroom door and ran the heater all night on Tuesday. Guess that would account for the throat but not sure. It's still a little raw today but not too bad and I have no fever. I am coughing with a dry cough and my nose has been dripping and congested on the one side but I have also been crying a lot over the past few days.
Thank you in advance for answering.
Thank you for your response. I will get tested at the intervals you mentioned and work on getting past this.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It seems you are reacting mostly to the guilt you feel from your sexual indiscretion. While nobody can say there was no STD risk, he risk of HIV definitely was zero or close to it; HIV remains rare in the large majority of heterosexual men and women in the US and other industrialized countries. The chance of other STDs is higher, but still quite low in this circumstance. The symptoms you describe do not suggest any STD; if you caught anything from your weekend partner, it was a cold, nothing more. To the specific questions:
1) Statistically, probably the highest risk was for chlamydia, with much lower risks of gonorrhea and syphilis. Tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia are accurate within a few days, so you could be tested at any time. Syphilis is extraordinarily unlikely, but if you want to be tested, have a blood test about 6 weeks after the exposure. The same time frame works for HIV testing. HPV was a potential risk, but there is no accurate test to detect new infection, and in any case HPV should be looked at as a normal consequence of being sexually active. All women should have periodic pap smears to check for early HPV-related disease, and your affair doesn't change that advice one way or the other. HSV is an unlikely possibility, especially if you don't develop symptoms of herpes; I don't recommend testing. Finally, a general gyn exam -- perhaps around the time of an HIV and syphilis test -- could assure you didn't pick up trichomonas or bacterial vaginosis.
2) You only need the tests and intervals suggested above. But do not test yourself by going anonymously to a laboratory or online. See a knowledgeable health care provider and folllow his or her advice.
3) See above.
The main thing now is not to panic. The chance you caught anything (other than a cold) is very low.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
1) Statistically, probably the highest risk was for chlamydia, with much lower risks of gonorrhea and syphilis. Tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia are accurate within a few days, so you could be tested at any time. Syphilis is extraordinarily unlikely, but if you want to be tested, have a blood test about 6 weeks after the exposure. The same time frame works for HIV testing. HPV was a potential risk, but there is no accurate test to detect new infection, and in any case HPV should be looked at as a normal consequence of being sexually active. All women should have periodic pap smears to check for early HPV-related disease, and your affair doesn't change that advice one way or the other. HSV is an unlikely possibility, especially if you don't develop symptoms of herpes; I don't recommend testing. Finally, a general gyn exam -- perhaps around the time of an HIV and syphilis test -- could assure you didn't pick up trichomonas or bacterial vaginosis.
2) You only need the tests and intervals suggested above. But do not test yourself by going anonymously to a laboratory or online. See a knowledgeable health care provider and folllow his or her advice.
3) See above.
The main thing now is not to panic. The chance you caught anything (other than a cold) is very low.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
