See the notice at the top of this forum: "This forum is limited to questions about STDs other than HIV/AIDS. For questions about HIV prevention, or if you have general questions about safe sex (e.g., condoms, how to protect yourself from HIV and STDs), please visit the HIV Prevention and Safe Sex Forum." But I'm in a good mood today, so I'm not deleting your question, but my reply is brief and to the point.
Nobody ever got HIV by hand-genital contact, even with cuts or sores, and regardless of whether a lesion is bleeding or not. Alcohol or irritation from it probably makes no difference in an already zero risk. Any of a number of garden variety viruses probably caused your fever etc, not HIV.
HHH, MD
I meant to add that I do understand your anxiety, which is one reason I didn't delete your questions despite use of the wrong forum. It isn't a trivial thing (emotionally) to have any sort of intimate exposure to someone with known HIV infection, even when the actual risks are low. That is one reason that HIV infected people have an absolute ethical obligation to inform their partners before sex occurs, even when safe sex is planned. (On top of which, sometimes intentions for safe sex disappear in the heat of the moment. What if you had spontaneously decided to go on to vaginal sex?)
So I have the same anger that you do about your partner's delayed revelation of his HIV infection, which was quadrupled by his overt lie before you had sex. You would be well within your rights to press him on his ethical standards; he clearly is a danger.
But despite all that, truly your risk for HIV was nil.
This was my first time to post on your site.
Thank you for your willingness to answer my questions. I had been trying for several days to post the questions, however the forums were full. Today the site did allow me to post the questions and I did not see a forum that was a better place to post in. The list I chose from was not specific, just said STD-General. My apologies. I hope this did not knock someone out that had a more approiate question for this forum. I have gained much knowledge from your responses to others questions. I am from a “small-town” , it is sad that I feel more comfortable asking you these sensitive questions than I do my family MD and feel the need to go out of town for HIV testing. (It is not the stigma of being bi-sexual that bothers me – it’s the stigma of being HIV positive) I guess the perceived stigma might have been what caused this guy to be dishonest with me regarding his status. Just a quick note to your readers: He is a healthy “looking” guy I had been playing hand ball with for over a year. For me now, it is not how people look or what they say ---- From now on I will assume everyone to have a STD till proven otherwise. I know that is how it should have been all along. And to think I thought I was safe when it came to sex.