Husband is a voyeur!

[Dustysmom2011]

Hi there,

Me and my husband are having some marital issues. Mostly financial and problems that can be fixed with help. I just found out that my husband has on a few occasions that I know of installed his cell phone in our bathroom to film my sister and friend in the bathroom. We have a daughter and I'm getting very concerned for her well being. At this point he still doesnt know that I know. I am waiting for the right time as my sister and friend want to confront him. Should I stay if he agrees to get help or just run and never look back?

[kingofpills498]

Run and run fast. There is no reason for filming someone in the bathroom. This incident might be the only one you're aware of but there could be more, child porn, prositution. He probably has movies of you that he's putting on the enternet. Good luck

[kellico]

you need to listen to your daughter. if a childs intuition tunes into something like this(and they bring their concern to you)..its real. take warning. it clearly could not be both of your imaginations telling you both the same thing. regardless of a mother/daughter bond~ if you both sense somethings not right...chances are, they aren't. as mothers we must protect our children.  all the prayers in the world will not protect your child from sexual deviants.  thats your job momma! please listen to your kid. stand united with your daughter and remember that it took alot of guts for her to bring this to you. god bless you both on your journey.

[confused340]

Hello everyone
Me and my husband are having some marital issues also. First off my husband verbally abused me. I feel like it always has to be his way or no way. When something is troubling him he does not talk about it then, he go days with silence then want to discuss the issue. We are currently seperated now because I felt like he was watching my daughter. I caught him somewhere he should not have been. I did not want to believe what I saw, so I didn't say anything. I just prayed to God about it. A year after that my daughter came to me with the same thought I was thinking. I feel like this is not a coincidence. I confronted him about it and of course he denied it. I talk to my children about this type of stuff all the time. He wants me to come back home but I feel if I go back that will be a slap in my daughters face. I need some advice on this situation. Please help!

[AnnieBrooke]

Your family is saying to you that they don't want you to turn a blind eye, and they don't think he is going to change.  I think their advice is pretty sound.  It's not just a matter of your husband being in some way impolite, he is being wrong on many levels, and what he did to your sister and friend is in fact against the law.  It's not just a matter of 'stand by your man and everything will be all right' any more.

[specialmom]

I've answered this on another forum but I think it is alright to have boundaries with someone and this would certainly cross the line.  This is not a 'sickness'--------  this is someone that has violated a loved one of his wife.  Wrong on so many levels.  I am a big proponant of marriage and have been married a long time myself, but some 'crimes' within a marraige break the vow in a way that it is alright to say you can not carry on.

This would do that for me.  As your sister now knows because you'e told her--------  there is no way to minimize this.  The family is not  unreasonable to see that this man is dangerous.  What exactly has he done with the images he took?  

The marriage had many issues prior to your finding this horrible thing out about your husband and I would say that trying to put a band aid on this will be difficult. The problems are much deeper than that.  You can try therapy but I'd consider seperating and expecting him to do intensive therapy himself before living with him any longer.  good luck

[PussInBoots999]

My husband was my soul mate, or so I thought, for 12 years. I came home from work 15 weeks ago to find police swarming all over my home. The long & short of it is that he had been filming my daughters, 23 & 26 (his step-daughters) in the bath and their bedrooms, using the images for self gratification and uploading them onto porn sites. He also had a data base of perverts waiting for more recordings as he did them. The police said his behaviour was escalating and he had put my girls in danger as he'd used their real names on the porn sites!! He is where he belongs, in jail and on the sex offenders register. For better for worse, I agree, but not in this instance.

[hero65]

the important thing is for you to be there for him because therapy is never easy when you're alone ... i know that you will make the right decision because you love him :)

[Dustysmom2011]

Meant to say I do love him. I want to be supportive. I'm thinking that we may need time apart to allow him time to get help and then see how things go.

[hero65]

your family are not reasonable ... in sickness and in health remember ? he's sick he needs therapy ...

[Dustysmom2011]

I do live him. But there is also the pressure from my family who are telling me that if I support him they will cut me off.

[hero65]

if you love him you'll stand by him and help him seek therapy

[BluCrystal]

Save yourself, and any other females in your life alot of grief.  Get out now.  This type of behavior doesn't 'just go away', and it is creepy in the extreme.

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds pretty creepy.  Your daughter's friends might be at more risk than your daughter (some peeping Tom's do draw the line), but the problem you have is that when you confront him, he might just get more sneaky and effective at spying, rather than try to get help and learn to stop.  Possibly you could talk to a therapist experienced in sexual fetishes and issues like this, and ask him if realistically it is possible for someone to stop.