Unable to orgasm

[Karma2008]

I am 32 and I have been unable to orgasm via penetration.  I have to use a clitoral stimulator or play with myself during sex.

I have now become frustrated with this practice and it has caused problems in my sexual life with someone I recently met.  He ended the relationship because he wasn't comfortable with not being able to get me to orgasm without oral or me playing with myself.

Am I the only one with this problem?  What can I do?

[scot120]

Thats probably why alot of women resort to " faking it " I appreciate it when my wife communicates during sex so I can learn what feels good to her . If I can't make her climax , I want her to finish herself , just as I would do if she wanted to quit early .I quest some men are selfish lovers Your going to find someone who will appreciate you just the way you are and who will learn what makes you tick .

[jml1986]

Hell as long as you are getting there, it doesn't matter how. Did you get rid of the jerk?

[Karma2008]

No, I am not on the pill nor am I taking any other.

I agree, looking at it now, he's jerk....

[hisgirl1010]

Are you on the Pill?  Depending on how your body might react to the Pill or any other medicine your on, it's completely normal.  I'm in the same boat too.  I was fine until I just switched my birth control.  Since then I can only orgasm through playing with myself (or having boyfriend do it).  Oral sex doesn't even really get me that excited either.

The guy that dumped you was a complete jerk!!

[crazywillie]

To many guys jump on and off their partners like a jackrabbit once they reach an orgasm they are satisfied and the poor woman is left in the lurch, a woman needs to be sexualy satisfied just like a guy, I have only had 9 partners in my life never had a one night stand, every one of them were able to reach orgasm because I took the time to give them oral sex and last long enough to make sure they were sexed up enough for my penis to do the job for them, Why?, because I am greedy and love a woman to reach orgasm the same time as I do, I feel very sorry for women that get jumped on and then left wanting, men like that are selfish a$$holes, no wonder they cant keep a woman and in Karma2008s situation her boyfriend blamed her for his lack of loving interest, he is a double a$$hole +.

[zip7]

Get on top and ride him. You will find you can better control the stimulation on your clit. Bobby

[Karma2008]

Thank you for your comments.  Having read them made me feel better.  I really felt crushed by what happened as I have never been in a situation like that before.

Thank you.

[g8r grl]

I'd say it's rare to orgasm from penetration only. You're the norm, my dear :) Congratulations! Welcome to the club!

As for the guy who broke it off because of this...what a loser. You didn't need him anyways...

[jml1986]

You sound normal to me. If I relied on strictly penetration to orgasm, I'd never have one. I say do what it takes and if your partner doesn't like it, find a new one.

[Crystlas]

Majority of women ONLY orgasm by having the clitoris stimulated.  I am that way.  I have to rub my clit during sex or have my partner do so.  He is usually concentrating on penetrating me in ways that make me squeal and I have no problem with masturbation.  He finds it hot.  In fact, all men I have been with find it hot.  Strange that this man you were with had a problem with it!  There is no way I would ever fake an orgasm and if I have to get myself off while enjoying penetration from my man, so be it.  It feels wonderful to have an orgasm while he is in me.  There are several positions that allow easy access for clitoral stimulation by either partner, you just have to experiment to find out what feels best for you!  Good luck.  

[slow_healer]

Talk about an unfair pressure to put on a girlfriend! Most women (and certainly none of my girlfriends) do not orgasm solely from penetration. Don't feel like there's something wrong with you - you are perfectly normal.

Sometimes it seems that men who had a partner who (quite luckily) could orgasm via penetration come to expect it from all their subsequent partners. Next time that comes up, insist that your last partner was 9 inches and could last an hour, then query why isn't *he* the same way? Everyone is different when it comes to the bedroom - a mature person will understand and respect that.

[Captain_Rit]

You are far from the only one with this problem.   There are many factors but i believe its 60% of women can not ever EVER orgasm from merely intercouse, and if you are one of that 60% no surgery love potion penis size or loving relationship can change that.    Also the fact that he dumped you because of that makes me believe that he is a jerk therfore i say your better off with out him.    It is completely normal so there is nothing to worry about.    Just have him give you oral and if he is not willing to do so good riddance to him i say.