Hey, Im John im a 19 year old male, My question is kind of a strange one, but i think its important to me at least... Kinda hard to talk about but here it goes. I dont know if my sexual interests are taboo or wrong. In my case theyre just things that turn me on, or get me thinking about sexual things that make me excited. Some examples are like when im doing laundry and i look over and see a womans panties, for some reason i become sexualy aroused, and think of "dirty thoughts". I do masturbate on occasion, but sometimes when im in my room i get this urge to want my female neighbor to see me "in the act" or to show her my penis. the idea of being seen or caught just arouses me, i dont understand it but i just get horny and i dont know if its wrong or somehow perverted?? Any answers?
I'd talk to a therapist. Not that it's perverted, but because it's desirable to understand it and keep it in the realm of "normal sex life with slightly kinky fantasies" versus "can only get aroused by ladies' underwear and exhibitionism," which is what sometimes people get to. People in pretty conservative lives sometimes have a fetish or kinky behavior that they do (or just think about) in private, and they still manage to have functioning marriages and normal lives. But it can also take over not only the person's whole sex life, but their whole life. You don't want to be a 35-year-old who still lives at home and breaks into houses to steal women's underwear (something that happened around here a couple of years ago, much to the shame and embarrassment of the guy and his whole family). So it would maybe be helpful to see a therapist to learn to put it into perspective, see what makes it happen and deal with those issues.
mm yeah i see the harmlessness in it. but i mean is it normal, well not normal, but is it common, i mean do woman think these thoughts of men. or is just kind of a rare thing and it could be just one in so many people have thoughts similar to mine?
I think you're normal and don't need therapy (unless you're really worried about it). I have a friend who has taken her rape fantasies to craigslist... she's post that she wants to be raped by a stranger, arrange a place to have him "abduct her/force her into it", and play out the whole fantasy. If you're not comfortable with the, um, sketchiness of craigslist, try FetLife. It's like the facebook of the fetish world (there are A LOT of kinky women out there and since you're from L.A. I'm sure you're pool to choose from is large). One thing to remember, never, NEVER do anything that's not consensual. Do what my friend does, so you can have the "feeling" of being a voyeur to a stranger. Have her meet you at a laundry mat, but don't actually "meet"; she could have an "oops, dropped my panties on the floor" situation, lol. And have her wear a short skirt so she can "accidentally" hike it up while she's putting her clothes in the wash... Ok, now I'M getting into this fantasy, ha ;) Also, I'm pretty sure there's no law against walking around inside your own house naked. Maybe knowing that your neighbor will possibly see you could satisfy that part...
In conclusion, no you're not weird at all. Don't let society dictate what is right for you. And remember the consensual part!
"""i get this urge to want my female neighbor to see me "in the act" or to show her my penis"""... because if you ever did lose self control and go through with this, you would be arrested by authorities, your name would be in the media for all to see, it would ruin your life for the future. Do what others suggest and find safe outlets for this part your personal life.
The point that I was trying to make is that he shouldn't rely on what society views as a conventional relationship since everyone is different (and A LOT of people have closet fetishes). Rape is one of the most common fantasies for women... and what that girl was doing was consensual, so it's not technically "rape". And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't consider herself "normal", whatever that means.
i appreciate the answers guys.... i thought youd be a little harder on me for this stuff but im glad im normal =P. ughh, tough time last night thought id update everyone though..was waitng at the laundry room for my moms clothes to finish up....another woman left to her room i for a second load she was gonna wash...my eyes caught ber bras and short shorts, and a thong she had... thoughts came racing through my mind again.... i just kept seeing her in my mind naked. or wearing jost the panties and bra. kinda uncontrollable you know =/
Sexy underwear, normal underwear, no underwear... men get turned on at the thought of it. You're completely normal dude.
As for the 'getting caught by your neighbor' thing, I'm not going to agree or disagree with what anyone above me said, but I WILL say that Exibitionism is a perfectly normal, albeit ~not main stream~ sexual appetite. I'd refrain from showing your neighbor, as I'm sure you're aware you can be arrested for "flashing" or public-indecency, but don't think of yourself as abnormal.
Sometimes I think a lot of the people that post answers on here are delusional and need therapy themselves (M_L), but I keep my mouth shut and don't come out and say it.
""""but I WILL say that Exibitionism is a perfectly normal, albeit ~not main stream~ sexual appetite......Sometimes I think a lot of the people that post answers on here are delusional and need therapy themselve""""
As for me, I'm just trying to steer this guy in the right direction, not lose self control which could possibly ruin the rest of his life in the process. Having that on his record will not delight his future employers, neighbors and so forth. If that advice is delusional then count me in as being delusional.
Not you dude... M_L. I can't say his name fully, because I'll get in trouble, or banned, or excommnicated of something.
I have no problem with what YOU said.
I was commenting more on the nature of M_L's answers than about the "therapy" remark, per se. Simply pointing out that HE may require more therapy than the OP.
OP: I'll stand by what I said. Be safe, and smart, and don't let your penis get you into trouble. A rap-sheet for flashing is the LAST thing you need following you around. I think you may even have to list yourself on the 'sexual offenders' website or something, which might cause all kinds of trouble later in your life.
You are 100% fine, don't worry, womens pants go near vaginas and can very easily be associated with foreplay or sex, and wanting a women to watch you masturbate is also very normal as it could lead to other things
you're completely fine as far as "normal sex" goes
i definately wont do the exhibitionism thing, although i would count it as public ( since theyd have to look to see) but id agree that it wouldnt be a great choice... i think itd be a turn on...i just feel like the urges i have when i see the woman panties or other displays make me think to much and i just dont know if these types of things offend women, or if in fact there are some women who wouldnt mind or even be equally turned on by the scenario..any answers?
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