Worried about Mom

[dana428]

Thanks in advance for any advice, etc.  My mom has had a purplish splotch on her forehead for over a year (I recently looked at Christmas pics from 08 and compared to 09 and it looks to be about twice as long.)  It's about 1-2 inches long and maybe a 1/2 inch wide.  She has always been prone to moles, but this looked different, not raised at all and the purple color rather than brown.  She asked her family doc when she first noticed it over a year ago, not sure how long it's been there, I'd say between 1 - 2 years.  The Dr. (who used to by my doc as well, but due to several incidents I lost all confidence in him and switched to a new doc.)  Anyway, he told her it was nothing to worry about.  After awhile, as it continued to get bigger, she asked again - again he brushed her off with it's nothing to worry about.  A couple weeks ago I took her to the eye dr. for her regular yearly eye exam.  The EYE dr. said, Wow, you really should have a dermatologist look at that.  Since the derm he recommended had a waiting list of 6mos-1 year for new patients, she just went back to her family dr, since she had a regular check up appt with him a few days later (she's diabetic, but it's fairly well controlled.)  When she told him what the eye dr. said, I guess he looked more closely and said "oh, I'm surprised I didn't notice before that there are dark parts to it"  So 2 days ago she had a punch biopsy and we are waiting for the results (she had it done at the family doc's office, by a physician's assistant, not even a dr.)

I had several times tried to get her to have it checked by a specialist because I have no trust in her family doc.  Now I regret I didn't insist harder and I've been climbing the walls with worry for the last few days, to the point of not sleeping, eating etc.  There is some cancer on her side of the family, a brother had a lung removed and about 2 years later developed terminal brain cancer.  A sister survived leukemia and breast cancer, but had long standing heart problems that I'm sure were exacerbated by the cancers and/or the treatments.  She died about a year ago after developing pneumonia following a stroke and a mild heart attack.  No history of any skin cancers that we know of.

Does this sound like it is cancerous?  I don't know of any other conditions that cause these types of lesions, except just age spots (she's 65) but I thought they were usually more brownish (hence the term liver spot.)  If this is cancerous, would it be considered slow growing since it's been 2 years that it's taken to get this large?  I keep thinking if it was malignant melanoma that surely there would have been other symptoms or it would have spread in that time.  Of course I guess it could have started as a precancerous lesion and just recently become malignant?  I know I can't do anything but wait, but tonight she asked me to use the computer to research funeral homes, if there are sites that have ratings or reviews, because she wants to prepay her funeral costs.  She claims she's been wanting to do this for some time, but I think she's resigned herself to thinking the worst, or she's not telling me something.

Anyway, I really just wanted to talk, especially with people who have had some experience with skin cancers.  Please excuse me if this doesn't make a lot of sense or if there are a lot of spelling errors; as I said, I'm not sleeping or thinking very straight, and after she asked me to look for funeral home info, I've just been doing nothing but crying. Thanks very much for listening.

Dana

PS - I've already told her even if it comes back negative, she's going to see a dermatologist.  I think we both should since we both are very fair and as I said, she has many moles; I have a few, and also some darker freckles.  I think I've heard of getting full body screenings and then having it rechecked every year for any changes, and I think this would be a good idea for both of us.

[dana428]

Thank you tig, your words of support are appreciated as we start this journey and learn along the way.  I've continued some research and am finding more encouraging info such as 5 and 10 year survival rates of 100% for melanoma in situ.  I looked up the derm she has an appt. with next week and from what I can tell just from his stats, he looks good (has a lot of experience with skin cancer and seems to have published several articles on the subject, etc.)  

Again, I am thankful that it is this stage 0 type, because I had never heard of that before, all I thought was that you didn't want to hear "malignant melanoma."  But it doesn't have to be a death sentence is what I'm seeing in the articles I'm finding; even if discovered in higher stages.  I just pray that they don't find any other spots - as I mentioned, she has always had large moles (and the great dr. also said those were "nothing to worry about".)  However, even though they are quite large, they've always been, it's not like they appeared out of no where and grew like this area did and this didn't even look like a "mole", it looked, for lack of a better word, like a "splotch".

Anyway, it sounds like you are doing the right things, and I plan to do the same as far as getting a full body check by a derm and have any suspicious areas watched- I had a few blistering sunburns as a teenager, which I know can lead to problems later on in us fair skinned people.  I learned fairly early (by late teens early twenties) that the sun was not my friend and that I would never be one who tanned, only burned and then peeled back to fish belly white, so I stopped the sunbathing attempts and began using moisturizer with spf 15 every day (for vanity reasons,  but hopefully it was also in time to prevent any type of skin cancer.)

  I will continue posting updates and things I learn and I'm sure I'll have more questions; there's nothing more informative or comforting than talking with people who are experiencing/have experienced the same things.

Thanks again,
Dana

[tig_gr]

I must have been typing when you wrote your mom's results.  I am so sorry to hear about her diagnosis, but a little glad to hear that it is stage 0 and not worse.  
It is a good thing she has persistent offspring!  
Not sure about the complaint system - there is a rate your MD website out there, but I don't know much more about that.
Anyhow - all the best to your Mom for a speedy recovery.
p.s. you sound better with your recent post.  It's always better to know what's happening so you can face things head-on.  

[tig_gr]

I am so terribly sorry that you and your mom have gone through all of this to finally get her Dr to stand up and take notice.  

I just joined online today and was browsing through this forum as I have been dealing with pre-cancerous AK's - so I am no expert at all... I too am fair - with blue eyes and reddish hair - bad combo!  (however no family history of cancer that I am aware of)

I have found a great Dermo recently and she did a full check of all of my spots/freckles/moles and took note of one to 'keep an eye on for changes' - on my back, that will be difficult - and she only found my AKs by fluke.
After her full check of the visible areas, she started describing what to watch for - basically changes in size, shape, colour, and texture, along with areas that peel over and over again and never heal.  This hit me hard because my family Dr had told me that I had one of these areas about 4-5 years ago and he was going to burn it off - when it seemed to go away on it's own his nurse told me I didn't have to come in - because "what's the point".  Apparently these can take just 4-5 years to turn from AKs to something worse.  
I brought this up to my GP when I saw him this week - and he didn't have too much to say...

It's terrible how we have to push Dr's out there to have them seriously look into our concerns sometimes.

Keep strong and try your best not to worry until the results come back.  *Hugs* and know that you have support out here.  

[dana428]

Well my Mom got her diagnosis:  Melanoma in situ.  I know melanoma is the worst but a quick google search shows that in situ is the "best of the worst" so to speak, as it is considered Stage 0, not even stage one, so I am grateful for that at least.  Any information, experience anyone can share on this diagnosis in particular would be appreciated.  I am trying to be strong and I know I need to be supportive of my Mom, but I can't help feeling so d**n angry that this could have been avoided.  If this has been there for 2  years at least, and is now only Stage 0, I would think that at some point it was like a precancerous lesion and had the so-called "doctor" done his job, perhaps it could have been taken care of then.  I know everybody wants to jump up and sue somebody anytime something bad befalls them, and I'm not saying that;  I don't think this man should be practicing medicine however.  My mom just says "it would be my word against his.."  Oh yeah, but for the fact that this thing was in the middle of your forehead and because of having diabetes you go for regular checkups every 3-4 months and in between if you're sick, so it's not like he didn't see it plus being told more than once that it was getting bigger.  Anyone competent should have had it checked long before this.  Oh and of course, it was the PA that called to give her the news, I guess besides not being a "doctor enough" he's not "man enough" either to tell a patient of almost 15 years that she has cancer.  Again, my mind is on my Mom, not running to a lawyer, but if anyone has any experience with filing some type of formal complaint against a doctor for what I can only call gross negligence, any advice in that direction would also be appreciated.  I don't think anyone else should have to go through something like this and the next person may not be as lucky as to be at Stage 0.

Many thanks,
Dana