coping when everything's fine

[dancerwannabe]

Hi,  

I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else has ever felt this way.

I was diagnosed with melanoma over 10 years ago now, was treated successfully, and have thankfully been melanoma free since then.  I guess I kind of convinced myself that I was misdiagnosed when I was younger, and just let myself forget it happened.  I still get lazy or greedy sometimes and let myself sit in the sun without sunblock.  I  started medical school this past year and learning about melanoma in the classroom has forced me to spend more time thinking about it.

I get scared sometimes.  We learned in class a statistic that may or may not be true about if you have melanoma once you're likely to get it again within the next 20 years.  It's hard not to do the calculation.  In lab we looked at examples of how melanoma can spread so quickly.  

At the same time, I wonder if I even have any right to be scared when I'm perfectly healthy right now and have no idea what will happen in the future?  No one has any guarantees.  

I'm thinking about this now because I know I have two lectures tomorrow morning on melanoma that will include more statistics about melanoma including statistics about the current not so great survival rates.  I guess I feel like skipping class would be bratty or wimpy when right now I'm perfectly healthy, but I don't love the idea of sitting and hearing about it in that light.

I guess sometimes it's just hard not knowing what's coming, whether you're acting appropriately, and doing the right things to take care of yourself.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.  I would love to hear anyone else's thoughts or feelings.

[matt24]

Hi, I can relate to what you are saying. Earlier this year I had a Basal Cell Carcinoma removed from my face by surgical excision. Thankfully, the skin cancer was non melanoma and not one capable of spreading throughout the body. It grew so slowly it was there for three years before I got the courage to see the doctor, leading to the diagnosis and its removal shortly after. I got a huge fright - I am only 25. I worry all the time about the damage to my skin and what may be ahead of me. What helps me cope is that I stick to safe sun practices no matter what and regularly attend skin check ups, as well as monitoring my own skin for any changes. Complete vigilence is the only way. I also believe being healthy and supporting our immune systems can help fight early mutations in our skin's DNA. Every defence is worth recruiting to stop skin cancer. The main thing I have learned is that early detection nearly always offers a cure, even for melanoma, so get checked at least once a year at a clinic and check your own skin once a month head to toe for changes.

[Pum]

I'm sorry to hear your studies have raised concerns for you. I hope you hear the good statistics at your course. The ones that say stage 1 melanoma is completely cureable.
We all are living with the chance that a condition is developing that will one day kill us. I know that's not much comfort but I bet all of your classmates will be worrying about one thing or another that you are studying. There's even a name for it. Of course you do have more reason to be concerned than most. Melanoma is nasty but it sounds to me like you've well beaten it and know what you've got to do for the rest of your life ie slip into shade, slop on sunscreen, slap on a hat.

Take care and good luck for the future.