I am 14 and recently I have developed a fear of sleep. Does anyone know the cause, have any suggestions, or a similar problem?
About three years ago I would stay up late during the summer, and due to childish fears of being the last one awake I would force myself to stay awake all night. The next day would I would be exhausted and moody and the day would be all together unpleasant. Then when night would come, I would get nervous, probably fearing I would not fall asleep again. I would fall asleep, fairly easily because I was so tiered. I would wake up feeling refreshed and sleep wouldn't be a problem anymore.
Over the years sometimes the problem would arrive and I would spend a day grumpy or tiered but eventually I would fall asleep, wake up, feel better, and then go back to normal.
But lately that hasn't been the case. Due to a horrible memory I'm not quite sure when it started, at least three weeks ago, it was horrible trying to get myself to sleep. I would toss and turn for hours in a delirious and foggy state of mind. Eventually I would get up, splash water on my face, do anything to not fall asleep. Eventually I do fall asleep at about 1:00am, usually not in my own bed and wake up several times. When I do have to wake up (at about 6:00am for school) I feel awful and sore all over. Then I spend the entire day fretting, worrying and crying over the fear I will not fall asleep again and spend the night similarly. Sometimes the nights get really bad and I will spend hours crying and hating myself for doing this to myself. I thoroughly annoy my mother by waking her up to cry to her about it
An even more recent problem is feeling tiered and apathetic throughout the day. I feel disengaged from people. I can talk to them normally but I still feel oddly distant. Even when laughing or smiling I still feel like there is a weight pressing on my mind and often on the verge of tears.
I have gotten better at getting myself to sleep by grounding myself to my bed. Telling myself I will not leave it even though my body makes up complaints like boredom sudden desire to go running, urge to go to the bathroom, and most often thirst. I keep water by my bed and drink enough water throughout the day. I drink a full glass before bed and go to the bathroom as well, so I don't think these are actually legitimate needs and just my body trying to deprive myself of rest.
I constantly wake up during the night too. This is very irritating because as far as I know you can't force yourself to stay asleep. When I do wake up I am very uncomfortable as well. Sometimes I get up to take Ibuprofen for muscle aches (I was prescribed this recently at hospital visit after I got into a car accident which is another cause of my sore muscles.) Sleep seems to do nothing for healing my body, as I usually feel stiffer than ever when I wake up. I think it's because I sleep on my stomach with my head to the side (the worst possible position.) Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night all the blood has been lost from a hand, arm or foot. I need to massage blood back into it before I fall asleep again.
My family thinks the reason for my problem is a lack of exercise as I spend a lot of time indoors and on the computer. But sometimes I also have trouble sleeping after a day of running about. Also, the issue isn't that I don't feel tiered when I try to sleep because both my body and brain are exhausted. Sometimes I fear being tiered though because then my thoughts get more frantic and incoherent.
Sorry this is so lengthy, but I had a lot to say about it. I have been thinking about this issue for awhile now and had a lot to say about it. If you have any input I would love to hear it. Thank you C:
Oh, also any additional information if needed:
I am female
I am a vegetarian (Tests have shown I don't suffer from any lacks of protein or iron though)
I don't really have any medical issues or allergies (except to mushrooms)