Aa
anyone doing a cycle with donor eggs
Hello all
Last time I posted here I just finished my 4th cycle with IVF all alone with donor sperm wich resulted in BFN.
This was about 2 years ago, and a lot has happened since.
To make a long story short, I met a man, we fell in love and have been trying to make a baby for a year and a half.
I am now 43 years old and we decided to go for a donor egg in Spain, why spain ? well it´s allowed and it´s not crazy expensive, and no waiting list.
I am now on the contraceptive pill, and one of the first 3 weeks in march we will travel to Alicante to have the transfer.
Is anybody out there in similar situation, or has done an IVF with a donor egg, who can give me advice on how to prepare myself, food, lifestyle etc....
All the best to all of you
Ashavaki
Last time I posted here I just finished my 4th cycle with IVF all alone with donor sperm wich resulted in BFN.
This was about 2 years ago, and a lot has happened since.
To make a long story short, I met a man, we fell in love and have been trying to make a baby for a year and a half.
I am now 43 years old and we decided to go for a donor egg in Spain, why spain ? well it´s allowed and it´s not crazy expensive, and no waiting list.
I am now on the contraceptive pill, and one of the first 3 weeks in march we will travel to Alicante to have the transfer.
Is anybody out there in similar situation, or has done an IVF with a donor egg, who can give me advice on how to prepare myself, food, lifestyle etc....
All the best to all of you
Ashavaki
Yes, the fibroid is in the uterus and I've been told by two different doctors that it can definitely interfere with the ability to get pregnant and stay pregnant. One doctor said that due to my age and low likelihood of getting pregnant, he'd skip the surgery altogether. The other doctor said if I have any hope of getting pregnant or carrying a donor egg that I should definitely get the surgery.
A blocked fallopian tube can also cause miscarriage or prevent pregnancy b/c fluid builds up in the tube and then spills into the uterine cavity. Some believe the fluid itself is toxic; others believe it's just the pressure of the fluid spilling into the cavity that can knock the embryo free. I was soooooo depressed when I found out about the tube (the other one also became at least partially blocked). Infuriated and depressed. It was my first and only time to see the particular doctor who gave me the pap. She was a high-risk ob/gyn and because I was considered high risk due to my age, I set up the appt. When I miscarried, I wanted to cancel but a friend convinced me to go in anyway so that I could establish a relationship for the "next time" I was pregnant. Once in the office, there were many warning signs that I ignored due to my state of sadness at having lost the pregnancy. The doctor really wasn't listening to me and there was a temporary nurse that happened to be working on the day I was there. She was completely clueless--didn't know how to weigh me or take my blood pressure even, and the office admitted to firing her the next day because she was endangering their patients with her incompetence (this is in NYC, by the way). Well, in addition to being given a pap on day 6 of my miscarriage (the doctor said she didn't want my office visit to be a "waste of time"), I believe that they used the same speculum on me that had been used on the patient before me. It is a long, truly horrible story and I wish I'd had the strength at the time to pursue legal action. I went from having two healthy, open tubes to one fully blocked tube and one partially blocked tube. That doesn't happen without some kind of infection or without multiple ectopic pregnancies. Every single medical professional I've since, gasps when I tell them that I was given a pap smear on day 6 of a miscarriage. They all say, "WHY was that done? You're NOT supposed to do that!"
As a matter of fact, I became pregnant 3 months after that first miscarriage (even though one RE said it would be medically impossible due to my one tube being fully blocked and the other being partially blocked), but the egg couldn't make it through my partially blocked tube (at least that's what my RE believes), and I had a second miscarriage. That was the point at which I decided to go with a donor egg--in that case I wouldn't need my tubes to be open. But it IS recommended that I get the blocked tube (hydrosalpinx) surgically removed. Shortly after, I learned about the fibroid and I just suddenly felt like I can't keep putting myself through these medical procedures that seem always to make things worse than if I'd just stayed at home. Even the clomid they gave me when I first began this journey caused all kinds of problems. I truly wish I'd never taken any of the fertility drugs, but that's easy to say to in retrospect.
So on one hand, the two surgeries probably wouldn't be that big of a deal, but then who knows?
I do wish that adoption were easier. I really do. It's so unfair (especially to these little children that can't advocate for themselves) that the adoption process has been commodified to the degree that it has been. It would be one thing if there truly were not enough children who need homes and a chance at life, but the fact that there are so many babies/kids languishing all over the world--well, it's really despicable the way it's handled.
All stop ranting now and wish you all lots of luck in making your dream for a baby come true.
A blocked fallopian tube can also cause miscarriage or prevent pregnancy b/c fluid builds up in the tube and then spills into the uterine cavity. Some believe the fluid itself is toxic; others believe it's just the pressure of the fluid spilling into the cavity that can knock the embryo free. I was soooooo depressed when I found out about the tube (the other one also became at least partially blocked). Infuriated and depressed. It was my first and only time to see the particular doctor who gave me the pap. She was a high-risk ob/gyn and because I was considered high risk due to my age, I set up the appt. When I miscarried, I wanted to cancel but a friend convinced me to go in anyway so that I could establish a relationship for the "next time" I was pregnant. Once in the office, there were many warning signs that I ignored due to my state of sadness at having lost the pregnancy. The doctor really wasn't listening to me and there was a temporary nurse that happened to be working on the day I was there. She was completely clueless--didn't know how to weigh me or take my blood pressure even, and the office admitted to firing her the next day because she was endangering their patients with her incompetence (this is in NYC, by the way). Well, in addition to being given a pap on day 6 of my miscarriage (the doctor said she didn't want my office visit to be a "waste of time"), I believe that they used the same speculum on me that had been used on the patient before me. It is a long, truly horrible story and I wish I'd had the strength at the time to pursue legal action. I went from having two healthy, open tubes to one fully blocked tube and one partially blocked tube. That doesn't happen without some kind of infection or without multiple ectopic pregnancies. Every single medical professional I've since, gasps when I tell them that I was given a pap smear on day 6 of a miscarriage. They all say, "WHY was that done? You're NOT supposed to do that!"
As a matter of fact, I became pregnant 3 months after that first miscarriage (even though one RE said it would be medically impossible due to my one tube being fully blocked and the other being partially blocked), but the egg couldn't make it through my partially blocked tube (at least that's what my RE believes), and I had a second miscarriage. That was the point at which I decided to go with a donor egg--in that case I wouldn't need my tubes to be open. But it IS recommended that I get the blocked tube (hydrosalpinx) surgically removed. Shortly after, I learned about the fibroid and I just suddenly felt like I can't keep putting myself through these medical procedures that seem always to make things worse than if I'd just stayed at home. Even the clomid they gave me when I first began this journey caused all kinds of problems. I truly wish I'd never taken any of the fertility drugs, but that's easy to say to in retrospect.
So on one hand, the two surgeries probably wouldn't be that big of a deal, but then who knows?
I do wish that adoption were easier. I really do. It's so unfair (especially to these little children that can't advocate for themselves) that the adoption process has been commodified to the degree that it has been. It would be one thing if there truly were not enough children who need homes and a chance at life, but the fact that there are so many babies/kids languishing all over the world--well, it's really despicable the way it's handled.
All stop ranting now and wish you all lots of luck in making your dream for a baby come true.
Wow, I can't believe your doc did the pap!! would they have to remove tube? You wouldn't need it for donor embies. I guess I didn't know they had to remove them still?
where is your fibroid? I also thought they left those unless they were in a bad spot... You sure are teaching me alot I didn't know! That's for sure! It's really not to hard to remove one though... ( i guess I'm just wanting to give you some hope?)
the thyroid meds wouldn't be toooo bad, would they?
Believe me, I get the not wanting to keep going through things... after a m/c and 3 hysteroscopies to remove scar tissue... having to fly across america for the last one... I get being tired. I soooo get it!!!
I agree with you 100%! It is so maddening that adoption is so hard. And the older you are the harder it gets. Unless you have 50-60 thousand, then maybe you stand a chance. It makes you feel like you are stuck in a corner, and can't get out.
where is your fibroid? I also thought they left those unless they were in a bad spot... You sure are teaching me alot I didn't know! That's for sure! It's really not to hard to remove one though... ( i guess I'm just wanting to give you some hope?)
the thyroid meds wouldn't be toooo bad, would they?
Believe me, I get the not wanting to keep going through things... after a m/c and 3 hysteroscopies to remove scar tissue... having to fly across america for the last one... I get being tired. I soooo get it!!!
I agree with you 100%! It is so maddening that adoption is so hard. And the older you are the harder it gets. Unless you have 50-60 thousand, then maybe you stand a chance. It makes you feel like you are stuck in a corner, and can't get out.
One of my problems is that I have a few issues that would make it harder for me to carry a pregnancy myself. After two miscarriages, I was told that I have a fibroid that would need to be surgically removed. I also have hypothyroidism that could cause miscarriage. And one of my fallopian tubes became completely blocked when a doctor gave me a pap smear on day 6 of my first miscarriage (the cervix is wide open during miscarriage and more susceptible to bacteria getting in, so she absolutely should NOT have given me the pap). Anyway, for me to carry a pregnancy, I'd need to have surgery to remove the fibroid, surgery to remove the blocked tube and go on meds for they hypothyroidism. In a way, it doesn't sound THAT big to me, but in other ways I'm so tired of all this medical stuff and how THEY (the doctors) keep screwing up. I don't trust that there won't be yet another obstacle or some kind of problem. Which is why my partner and I have been looking into India for surrogate. But we ALSO need a donor egg and in India they don't let you meet the donor or find out much about her at all. So we're trying to figure out if we can find a donor elsewhere and bring her to India for the surrogate. Honestly, it all might be too complicated and too much. It's depressing that adoption is so difficult and so uncertain. It really should be illegal that they make it so hard when these children need loving homes and there are people out there willing to give it to them!
Keep Alive, if using an embryo is the way for you to get a baby, then go for it! You can make it happen!
:)
Breezy
Keep Alive, if using an embryo is the way for you to get a baby, then go for it! You can make it happen!
:)
Breezy
I live in a really small country island in the mediterranean sea so the US would be really far away for me to search for a donor. Europe is much easier and nearer.
My donor cycle failed and me and my partner need to investigate further his sperm. The RE said that we had no embryos to freeze (out of the remaining 6) because my hubby's sperm was poor quality (even though they did ICSI).
Hubby has got a child already and even though he wants a child it is not so crucial to him. Plus, I am a cancer survivor :) Got sick in 2000 when I was 29 and had to wait many years.
Really dont know what my next step is going to be? If hubby is not very willing to try again I am really thinking of going on on my own and using donor embryos. This has become an obsession... Yesterday we went to the christening of a friend's baby and this is the 4th child. She is 43 and everything was easy.
I wish I knew a way to stop me from wanting to have a child so much.
Adoption is even harder than donor eggs here and costs much more...
Good luck to everyone!
xxxxx
My donor cycle failed and me and my partner need to investigate further his sperm. The RE said that we had no embryos to freeze (out of the remaining 6) because my hubby's sperm was poor quality (even though they did ICSI).
Hubby has got a child already and even though he wants a child it is not so crucial to him. Plus, I am a cancer survivor :) Got sick in 2000 when I was 29 and had to wait many years.
Really dont know what my next step is going to be? If hubby is not very willing to try again I am really thinking of going on on my own and using donor embryos. This has become an obsession... Yesterday we went to the christening of a friend's baby and this is the 4th child. She is 43 and everything was easy.
I wish I knew a way to stop me from wanting to have a child so much.
Adoption is even harder than donor eggs here and costs much more...
Good luck to everyone!
xxxxx
Hi Keep Alive,
I also periodically feel like giving up. I get very frustrated that it's all so difficult--even adopting is extremely difficult, which seems akin to war crimes when you consider that there are millions of children all over the world languishing in the system. I feel like I've tried so many things: a few different fertility drugs (3 rounds), IUI, acupuncture, fertility massage, supplements, eating right. (Both times I get pregnant was WITHOUT drugs or medical intervention). Then the first miscarriage came followed by the hypothyroid diagnosis, and a fully blocked fallopian tube and a partially blocked fallopian tube (both were open and healthy before an ignorant doctor gave me a pap smear on day 6 of the miscarriage--that one REALLY plunged me into the depths of despair), then miscarriage number two and the fibroid diagnosis.
I began this journey wanting my biological child very badly. Then I got comfortable with the idea of a child that is not biologically mine, but even that route has proven very difficult. I'm sorry to be so negative--I just wish that creating a family for infertile couples weren't such a commodified, expensive proposition.
Were you able to find out anything else about donor eggs in other countries? Where are you located? Thanks for the name of the place in Spain--I'm going to look it up!
Breezy
I also periodically feel like giving up. I get very frustrated that it's all so difficult--even adopting is extremely difficult, which seems akin to war crimes when you consider that there are millions of children all over the world languishing in the system. I feel like I've tried so many things: a few different fertility drugs (3 rounds), IUI, acupuncture, fertility massage, supplements, eating right. (Both times I get pregnant was WITHOUT drugs or medical intervention). Then the first miscarriage came followed by the hypothyroid diagnosis, and a fully blocked fallopian tube and a partially blocked fallopian tube (both were open and healthy before an ignorant doctor gave me a pap smear on day 6 of the miscarriage--that one REALLY plunged me into the depths of despair), then miscarriage number two and the fibroid diagnosis.
I began this journey wanting my biological child very badly. Then I got comfortable with the idea of a child that is not biologically mine, but even that route has proven very difficult. I'm sorry to be so negative--I just wish that creating a family for infertile couples weren't such a commodified, expensive proposition.
Were you able to find out anything else about donor eggs in other countries? Where are you located? Thanks for the name of the place in Spain--I'm going to look it up!
Breezy
Are you home yet??? When you get back... please fill us in on how things went!!!! : )
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