Hog Wild

[RtSandra]

Dear All,
                    My son has recently turned 14. ( * This topic is related to teen counselors ) . His horomones are out of this world. When I was fourteen I was roudy , but not compared to my son. My wife and I are counselors and we travel with missions and different organizations. My son , Tucker , is obsessed with sexual conversation. We can be ridding down the road and he asks me how my orgasams are. If I would have asked my dad that , he would have called me a pure fruitcake. When at home he walks around with nude or with his talywacker hanging out of his boxers. What should I say? Get away son!!!!! I really don't know what to do. He will not do these things in front of his mother though , and I just find it creepy.   If you have had this problem please help. Thanks  -Dr. Clay Ellis

[RtSandra]

Well, he does play football, soccer, and male softball. So he is a large sport player. That is another thing THE LOCKER ROOM. Yes, you are to cut them off. you are to cut a misleading eye out. And a decieveing tongue out. thank You very much.

[April2]

It's a fine balance. You do want him to talk to you but you also are the adult here in charge as his parent. I would lay down the rules on walking around naked and maybe find some kind of outlet for him to help distract him in a good way? It sounds like he's a little obsessed with the whole sex thing. If he can find a sport or something to keep him busy and help tire him out physically that can really help. Sometimes I think the kids just have too much time on their hands and you know what they say about idle hands!

[RtSandra]

Thank you for the comment. The walking through the house naked on my part stopped when he was about 5 years old. As I have said before , his mother and I work in another country for 2 months and home 2 months. I have had plenty of Sex talks with him , but it has gotten to the point he thinks I am his big brother who will engage in sex talk and for instance masturbation etc. with him. As the parent of course I shoulldn't but I would rather do this than let a stranger or one of his friends. What do I do? Dad or Big Brother or Both ? Thanks-Dr. Clay Ellis

[April2]

First off, neither you nor your son should be walking around the house naked. That would help since his hormones are already raging. He doesn't need any extra stimulation or constant reminder of anything sexual.
If you're worried about him having sex, then have a talk with him about it. I'm surprised with you being a counselor you wouldn't have thought about this. You need to keep the communication lines open with him. Discuss the pros for waiting, the cons for having sex too early (std's, getting a girl pregnant, not to mention maturity and just not being ready for sex).
I'd have the same talk to him that I would a girl. Tell him to respect his body and not just give it out to anybody. It's so much better to wait for that special person.
Watch that he's not getting into porn as that will only make things worse and will teach him the wrong ideas about women (that they're just good for sex and should be treated as objects of pleasure, rather than a person with feelings and a brain!)

I didn't have that many problems with my teenage son. We did have several talks with him. We did find out he looked a porn a few times and explained why that wasn't good. He managed to get through puberty and the teens years unscathed. He's now 21, in college and doing well. Your son will get through this too! Just give him the guidance he needs and be there for him.
And make sure both of you stop walking through the house naked!

[RtSandra]

Thank you for this dear friend. I have tried cycles and thing I do at my office because my wife and I are Child Counselors at a school , and this is a whole different ballgame. I know this is a behavior in most teen boys and some girls. It just seems like this happened overnight. ( Which did not happen). I would not be so worried if he was not so constant about this. The worry his mother and I carry , mainly myself, is that he will either get a young female pregnate or have sexual intercourse with a male and get aids. My other fear is homosexuality in formation. At home , rarely, I will walk through the house naked and sometimes with a boner. Yes, Im glad he feels comfortable to talk to me, but not to a CLOSE CLOSE father son relationship. Thank You for your comment. And if anyone else has a teenage Son please tell me how to get through this nightmare of PUBERTY with he. thanks-Dr. Clay Ellis

[aid821]

Your son obviously sounds like he's sexually curious from the types of questions he's asked you and the behavious he's exhibiting. He must feel extremely comfortable around for this to occur, so it might be worth sitting down with him and asking him if there are any questions he has (in the case of the orgasm question, possible direct towards what an orgasm feels like, not necessarily what yours are like).

It might also be worth letting him know that at his age he should be covering up at home and making sure his 'talywacker' stays in his pants. Just simply let him know that you don't want to see anything. Although it might shock you, you should be glad that your son is able to talk and be open with you with what he's experiencing in his life. :)