Having sex shouldn't be painful, if you are relaxed and ready. There is no need to rush into having sex. If you don't want to, then don't. I have plenty of friends that waited, including myself. There is no "normal" amount of sex for a person of any age. If you have a new boyfriend, don't immediately rush to have sex. Take your time to get to know him and go slow. good luck.
Sex always hurts the first few times, after that though, it feels nice. Since it's been a while since you had sex then it will probably be a little bit uncomfortable to start off with but once you get going it will feel nice. Make sure you engage in a lot of foreplay so you are well lubricated.
If you tell him your sexual past don't say virgin, because he will then assume you've never had sex before. Just tell him you've had one sexual partner. My boyfriend was a virgin until he was 19. It differs between people, I think its very normal for a 17 year old to of only had sex a couple of times.
Also, you probably already do but make sure you use a condom. Even if he protests don't not wear one because STDs are so common these days and happen to the most unlikely people.
thank you so much for all your comments!!!!!! :)