16 and pregnant...

[sweetpea03]

I'm just curious to know about how many people watch this show. Do you watch 16 and pregnant? or do you watch teen mom? Do you think they accurately portray what it is like to be a teen mother? Also how old are you? I'm looking for people's views on these types of shows. Any opinions/input would be be appreciated. thanks.

[Clysta]

They might not determine it, but they sure make a huge difference. Your past doesn't make you a good mom. Love doesn't feed a baby. Love doesn't put a roof over that babies head. I've been in the same life. I was beaten for 15 years and raped by both my father and step brother. Having done these things and now being a mother myself at 21 I believe I have every right (and the knowledge) to say what I am. I myself am extremely lucky because I have a very well behaved baby. Even with all this my husband and I are still having problems, we rarely can do anything and we have no time to ourselves. If you're having problems already about something so silly as an open shirt I can only imagine how things will turn out when you're exhausted and have a newborn to handle. It only gets harder once you become a parent. I think Sweetpea has a much better grasp on life that many people do or think. I only wish I had had someone tell me these things when I was foolish enough to think being a parent wasn't work at all. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

[DellaKemp]

I never said that people are done learning and maturing, so please make sure you really read what I am saying before you call me naive. Thanks. I never read her saying that her fiance' is controlling. I also don't believe I read that she was having a baby to "try and make their relationship better". Oh and I know that 19 is still considered a teenager. Funny how you said that its an act of maturity or lack there of to try and prove a point with all caps to her and yet you just did the same thing. Check yourself before you start calling people out. LOL!!!!

All I am saying is you stated your opinion. Great. I respect that cause we all have one. But instead of badgering your point to death, just take a step back. She is going to get this thrown in her face all the time from now own that she was a teenager when she had a baby. Lets not add onto her stress by turning this forum into a place that bashes her decision.

You say that the older people are, the more life experiences they have. Not true. I have a really good friend, that is the same age as me and she not nearly close to the same emotional level as I am because I had to go through way more than she did. Your past shapes who you are and your character.  She is going to be a mom. And its my prayer that she and her fiance do end up married and happy and that her "babies" have a healthy happy life. Money, job, career or whatever is not the only thing that will determine the quality of life a child will have.

[penswriter]

Having a baby won't fix problems. Like sweetpea said it will most likely make that problem 10 x's worse. "hoping" a baby will fix everything is not a good reason to have one. My dh and I were 23, financially stable, our boys want/need for nothing. In fact we verge on spoiling them. We get the most ridiculous looks and hateful comments (Our boys are turning 3,we're turning 26.) about being irresponsible and having kids. I've had people offer to "take them off our hands" because we're much too young to have kids. No matter how prepared and "mature" you think you are...someone will always make a comment. And no matter how much you prepare for a baby you're never prepared. I sure wasn't ready for one colicky baby and one with severe acid reflux. Dh and I had to sleep in shifts for the first 6 months. We never have alone time. Okay we get 5 minutes in bed before we fall asleep.

If there are any issues in the relationship you're hoping a baby will fix...don't.

[remar]

This subject really hits home for me. I have 3 nephews and between them they have 8 kids and another one due soon. That's 9 babies! I've actually bought condoms for the boys and offered to take the girls to the clinic to get birth control. The kids do suffer because none of the relationships have worked out. The girls are struggling and it puts so much pressure on both sides of the families. Young girls think it's going to be fun to be pregnant, they will get a lot of attention and be able to keep the father. Then reality sets in once they bring the baby home and get no sleep and no time alone. No, this does'nt happen in every situation but I see it happen a lot. Having a baby is the biggest hardest job you will ever have. Wait until you've finished school and get married. A baby deserves to have a good stable home with two parents. If any of you girls think having a child will keep a guy and be a fun thing to do think twice. You could very well be sitting home without your guy and a crying hungry wet baby wondering how your going to deal with all of this all on your own. I see it happen all the time.

[sweetpea03]

If she wants to be a mom, then good for her for getting her act together and trying to make a good situation. Though she's also talked about hoping her fiance would 'get better' when they have a baby, since he can be controlling and has some issues(not liking her wearing a v-neck shirt). A baby is not going to fix her relationship, it's only going to emphasis the problems they have. If he is jealous and controlling, it will only seem to get worse. I really do hope they can work it out, mostly for the baby's sake, but I'm not going against her. Also, a CNA is not a career move. I have a few friends who are CNAs, it's not a high paying job at all. She's 19 and I commend her for trying to make something of herself, but don't think she's doing it all for the right reasons. I would love to have a family myself and want to settle down, but that doesn't mean I should right at this moment. Being older means, people have more life experience and hence have grown more and matured more. I was 'mature' for my age at 19, too. But me at 19 is different from how I am now at 21. People constantly grow and mature. And if you think you are done learning and maturing, then you are being naive. You use one example of an older couple having kids, which realistically is not the majority. If a couple waits to get married and have kids until they are in their mid 20s, they will statistically last longer than a couple in their teens. And yes, 19 is a teen(nineTEEN). I do agree that age is a number, but you don't know her mindset and are jumping to say she is correct. Also, a teen has in no way the same life experience level as someone in their late 20s. It's a good idea to be stable(financially, emotionally, etc) in a relationship before considering children. There's not a perfect time to have children, but being a little more prepared and waiting is not going to hurt you.

[DellaKemp]

I understand your point sweetpea, but you still missing the what Hilton....... Is trying to say. He is at the point in her life mentally and in every other way where she is ready to have a baby, just because she is younger doesn't mean she is making herself grow up quicker. Not everybody has the same outlook on life. I knew I was ready to get married right after highschool. It didn't happen till I was 21 but I was ready at age 17. I didn't want to go out partying, I shred school and it was not my too priority and still isnt. Getting married and having a family was my were my mind was at when all of my friends were talking about going away to school and partying. I was thinking about getting married and having kids and weighing the pros and cons about doing all that at such a young age. Everyones priorities are different. Yours are wait till you have a career, married and house before bringing a child into the world. Well she has a house, is getting married and has a career and she is working on bettering that career. Her bases are covered. Being 19 or 21 or 23 or 35 doesn't dictate how a baby will be raised or taking care of. I know a couple now, wife is 24 and hubby is 29. They are pregnant and have no clue what the he'll they are going to do. He works at a sandwhich shop and she is going to school. From the sounds of it, Hilton....... Has her life more in order and stable than people who are 5 and 10 years older than her. How about instead of making it seem like her decision is the worst possible thing she could have ever done, let's congratulate her on her new baby that will be here soon and offer love and support instead of acting like we know she is going to be putting the baby at an injustice. I'm sorry but you saying that really pissed me off. Wanting a baby and being able to provide a baby with a loving and stable environment, and everything that it needs is never going to put a baby at an injustice if you are able to provide for it which she has been telling you she and her fiancé can. Being older doesn't make it better to have kids. Unless you are born wealthy, nobody will ever be fully ready financially to raise a baby. You may think that, but also have no idea. My mom was 30, college graduate and working as an accountant before her and my dad had me. They still had some hard times but they managed. And I had a great childhood till my
Dad decided it was awesome to get hooked on drugs but that's not the point. You can be 19 or 35, but if your mindset isnt right, then your age becomes just a number meaning absolutely nothing about how mature you are and if your able to handle stuff.