Aa
Confusing situation not sure if I should keep my unborn child
So I've been dating this guy for some time and around the same time I've realized that I wasn't happy being with him. He's a good guy just not my good guy so I decided to break things off and turns out I was about 6 weeks pregnant. I'm very confused and indecisive if I want to keep the baby cause I always envisioned me being happy to have a baby and even happier for whoever I was with to be the best father to raise my child but that's not the situation. A baby is a huge commitment and it's already all wrong. So I guess I'm asking what would you do? Without any judgement.
You asked for advice so I will give you my opinion as to what I would do. First, I would listen to everything Specialmom said. She always gives the best advice. I would weigh all of my options, and there are several. You have to think about what kind of life you can give a child right now and in the future. Having no money can be so very hard because babies are so costly. Do you want the father to be in your life for at least 18 years? There really is so much to think about but I'm so glad we women do have choices. True, not all of us believe in God. If you do you have to know he forgives everything.I'm bringing this up because some of the people here mentioned God. This is your decision and we're here to help and support you no matter what you decide to do.
I sent you a message so check your inbox.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Not everyone believes in God and therefore, that probably shouldn't enter into the discussion.
Sweetie, you have choices and that is a GOOD thing.
I would think about what makes the most sense for YOU. it's your body and you'd be the one responsible for a child so you must be the one to decide. All the choices are good options depending on what your needs are.
First there is termination. Abortion is a good option when a woman is not in a position to raise a child at this time nor has any desire to. It allows her to get back to her life and then down the road when the timing is better, she can think about starting a family. Abortion is relatively easy in terms of the procedure and at this early stage of your pregnancy, you could consider an abortion through medication given to you in the doctors office. it's a dose of hormones that would terminate the pregnancy. Don't try that on your own but doctors are well versed on doing this as it is becoming more common. Otherwise, an abortion in a clinic is the other option. This again, is relatively easy and clinics often offer it on a sliding fee based on income so can be very inexpensive but is never priced very high as they do not want a woman to feel she 'can't afford an abortion. Look for clinics in your area or check out Planned Parenthood.
The second option is adoption. This is a great choice when you do not want to raise a baby and it allows the gift of parenthood to a couple that can't have a child on their own. It's really a wonderful thing to do. And they have open adoptions these days so that you could know the child or be in contact in some way or you could do a traditional closed adoption and must move on. You do have to carry a baby to term though and give birth. But after that, your life goes on as usual. An adoption attorney is a good place to start for that or Catholic social services does a good deal of work in adoption.
The last option is to keep the baby. This can be a good choice if you are in a position or have the desire to raise a baby. Babies are indeed wonderful. But I do want to be honest that they are a lot of work. nothing will make you grow up faster than parenthood as it is a 24/7 responsibility. Lots of planning and consideration needs to happen for this option such as where you and baby would live, who will help you while you are in school or at work (as you do want to be an independent adult that is financially capable of making it on your own), if you are able to give up a good deal of your social life or who will babysit for you while you go out, etc. Be practical and realistic. Plenty of single moms bring up babies and it is fine! So, if you take this route, I'm sure you can do it but don't let anyone tell you that it isn't super hard, as it is.
So, think about what is best for YOU. I'm here to support you in any way that I can. peace
Sweetie, you have choices and that is a GOOD thing.
I would think about what makes the most sense for YOU. it's your body and you'd be the one responsible for a child so you must be the one to decide. All the choices are good options depending on what your needs are.
First there is termination. Abortion is a good option when a woman is not in a position to raise a child at this time nor has any desire to. It allows her to get back to her life and then down the road when the timing is better, she can think about starting a family. Abortion is relatively easy in terms of the procedure and at this early stage of your pregnancy, you could consider an abortion through medication given to you in the doctors office. it's a dose of hormones that would terminate the pregnancy. Don't try that on your own but doctors are well versed on doing this as it is becoming more common. Otherwise, an abortion in a clinic is the other option. This again, is relatively easy and clinics often offer it on a sliding fee based on income so can be very inexpensive but is never priced very high as they do not want a woman to feel she 'can't afford an abortion. Look for clinics in your area or check out Planned Parenthood.
The second option is adoption. This is a great choice when you do not want to raise a baby and it allows the gift of parenthood to a couple that can't have a child on their own. It's really a wonderful thing to do. And they have open adoptions these days so that you could know the child or be in contact in some way or you could do a traditional closed adoption and must move on. You do have to carry a baby to term though and give birth. But after that, your life goes on as usual. An adoption attorney is a good place to start for that or Catholic social services does a good deal of work in adoption.
The last option is to keep the baby. This can be a good choice if you are in a position or have the desire to raise a baby. Babies are indeed wonderful. But I do want to be honest that they are a lot of work. nothing will make you grow up faster than parenthood as it is a 24/7 responsibility. Lots of planning and consideration needs to happen for this option such as where you and baby would live, who will help you while you are in school or at work (as you do want to be an independent adult that is financially capable of making it on your own), if you are able to give up a good deal of your social life or who will babysit for you while you go out, etc. Be practical and realistic. Plenty of single moms bring up babies and it is fine! So, if you take this route, I'm sure you can do it but don't let anyone tell you that it isn't super hard, as it is.
So, think about what is best for YOU. I'm here to support you in any way that I can. peace
Thank you all that has posted I've read some really inspiring and eye opening things so far. I appreciate you all for taking the time out to responding though I may not have a solid decision yet I will pray and further think about things on every aspect
You have every right to be confused and scared. Raising a child on your own is no easy task. Think about what your situation is. Are you financially independent? A place to live big enough to add another person, a steady job that can pay for two and keep you going through a maternity leave with enough to buy all the things a child needs and deserves? A support system to help you with the emotional upheaval involved in such an enormous life change? Reliable transportation for doctor appointments, a way to manage childcare when you go back to work? There are lots of things to consider.
No matter what you choose there are people who will judge you. No matter what you do you will wonder what if you did something different. But you do have choices.
I chose not to become a single mother when I was much younger and looking back I absolutely do not regret my decision. Becoming a statistic would have been a bad choice for me and for a helpless child who had no choice in the matter but would have been raised in poverty and sorrow. I would not have been able to provide what a child deserved and I made my choice - it was not easy but I do not regret it. I now have a college education, an amazing job, an incredible husband, a loving son, and another on the way - it took many years to come full circle but I am so glad I waited until I could provide what I needed and what my family needed.
I an not telling you that you should make the same choice I did. I am sharing my story as a counterpoint to "you aren't ever given more than you can handle" because pregnancy isn't fate it's just biological fact. You have choices. It is not easy. Talk to someone you trust and mostly talk to yourself. Decide not only what you are capable of but what you most want for yourself and the family you may one day have. Trust yourself. Only you can decide what your life will be.
No matter what you choose there are people who will judge you. No matter what you do you will wonder what if you did something different. But you do have choices.
I chose not to become a single mother when I was much younger and looking back I absolutely do not regret my decision. Becoming a statistic would have been a bad choice for me and for a helpless child who had no choice in the matter but would have been raised in poverty and sorrow. I would not have been able to provide what a child deserved and I made my choice - it was not easy but I do not regret it. I now have a college education, an amazing job, an incredible husband, a loving son, and another on the way - it took many years to come full circle but I am so glad I waited until I could provide what I needed and what my family needed.
I an not telling you that you should make the same choice I did. I am sharing my story as a counterpoint to "you aren't ever given more than you can handle" because pregnancy isn't fate it's just biological fact. You have choices. It is not easy. Talk to someone you trust and mostly talk to yourself. Decide not only what you are capable of but what you most want for yourself and the family you may one day have. Trust yourself. Only you can decide what your life will be.
I'm going to share a story that might help you. My sister found out about a month ago that she is pregnant. She joined the army last year & was deployed to Korea on April 5th. At registration, she met a guy (I think you see where I'm going with this). That guy was nice & they laughed & had a good time together-a few weeks later, one thing led to another & they slept together. They were smart & used a condom, but it failed. She struggled with whether or not to keep the baby because this wasn't part of the plan & the father's divorce isn't final (she did know he was married beforehand) and he could get in serious trouble because the Army still recognizes adultery as a crime. In the end, she realized she has always wanted to be a mom & that she couldn't forgive herself if she terminated-so she's keeping the baby. As soon as he found out, deadbeat daddy dropped off the face of the planet (as much as he could considering they're stationed on the same base & work in the same medical clinic) and completely ignored her. She had her first ultrasound last Wednesday & the doctors said she's measuring 8 weeks tops, which isn't possible by her calculations of when conception could have happened. She found herself immediately praying that her baby will be okay. She has already fallen in love with it, even if it wasn't part of the plan. She wants her little one to be okay. We are hoping her calculations were wrong & baby is just fine-if it is-she is going to be a single mom and that will be fine. She will be fine. She's going to be a great mother. You could be too. My point is-make the decision based on what YOU want. Give it a week or two for the shock to wear off before you decide & listen to your heart & your body. You'll know what the answer is.
I'm not sure if I'm reading everything right but it sounds like things arent going wrong for you just not the way you planned? If you are able to financially and the guy is a good guy and you'll have support I would say keep it. It is a big decision to make so make sure it is the best one for you. I personally wouldnt do it unless I felt there was no other decision for me. It sounds like you could could have this baby and be a great mom even if the situation isn't your ideal.
If you dont thing you can handle a baby I would look into adoption. I have had an abortion and trust me it is the worst decision i have ever made its been 8 years and i still think about it every day and wish i would have kept the baby.
I would keep the baby...everything happens for a reason. If God didn't want u to have a baby he wouldn't have allowed it.
I know it's hard decision to make. However it's a miracle to even have a baby many couples struggle so hard and go through so much to even try an conceive or even adopt. Regardless if you're not sure he's Mr right you're baby isn't a mistake just unexpected. You say he's a good guy he probably will be a good father if you decide to keep the baby. If not you can always give the baby up for adoption. You have no judgment from me it's your body and your choice. However I am a lil based as this baby I'm carrying is a miracle I've always wanted a baby even if the father wasn't around. I've been fortunate to have a partner who has been there for me. We had just broken up when I found out I was pregnant. But things have changed so much between us I'm happy he's here for me
Even tho u may think things are going wrong just pray God don't put anymore on us then we can bare maybe u should call and talk with the baby's father andvu guys work things out from there don't let ur hurt and pain stop u from being a good mother to ur child love that baby unconditionally
Keep it god dont give u more then u can handle
You are reading content posted in the Women's Choice Community
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
