Aa
Is it wrong??
Is it wrong for a mother that already has 3 kids.
Now expecting the 4th
But have had thoughts since I was 13 weeks to get it aborted as I can not have anymore kids due to medical reasons
And keeping thinking I don't want this baby. Want to give it away.
But don't want to go through all that pain. It is still my baby
But it's just a thought that keeps going through my mind
The father to this baby is the same to my 3rd baby
I've been through hell with the father
Alot of violence
And now pregnant again to him
Not by choice.
Things happen with contraception
Do I make sense? I know I have to speak to someone
But is there anyone or does anyone know someone that had these thoughts
Is it common do I really need help
Is there a reason why. ..
Now expecting the 4th
But have had thoughts since I was 13 weeks to get it aborted as I can not have anymore kids due to medical reasons
And keeping thinking I don't want this baby. Want to give it away.
But don't want to go through all that pain. It is still my baby
But it's just a thought that keeps going through my mind
The father to this baby is the same to my 3rd baby
I've been through hell with the father
Alot of violence
And now pregnant again to him
Not by choice.
Things happen with contraception
Do I make sense? I know I have to speak to someone
But is there anyone or does anyone know someone that had these thoughts
Is it common do I really need help
Is there a reason why. ..
Honey personally I had the same the same thought for my 1st one,because the father of my child wanted me to,but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it I just couldn't. I thought about giving the baby up too but everyone kept telling me once you hear that 1st cry your not going to wanna let it go. I mean honestly listen to your heart thats going to be your best bet,honestly I don't know your situation but you need to get out its not healthy. But seriously listen to your heart it will pull you in the right direction. That's what I did and now I'm expecting a little a little in 2 months.
In my opinion dont get an abortion just keep the baby, its a gift from god. But get rid of the father if hes no good to you or your children.
Bad thoughts happen during pregnancy due to hormones. Just be patient and hope everything will be fine.
Bad thoughts happen during pregnancy due to hormones. Just be patient and hope everything will be fine.
I'm 33 weeks pregnant
At 15 weeks when I wanted to abort it
IT was very costly
I would have had to get rid of my $4,000 car I just bought plus get a $2,000 loan
Yeah it's Alot past 12 weeks
And now what goes through my head is to give it to someone else
There are many women out there that are trying for their first baby and I'm having my 4th.
Unfortunately
I can't get rid of the father that easily
I have a court order for our son and the father sees our son every week and has 2 nights of care with our son
I always have to see him when we do the pick up and drop off.
He may not be in a relationship with me but has rights to this baby.
He might be the one giving me all this bad thoughts
Cause I don't want to go through the same thing I did when our son was born.
Alot did happen and can promise it's something a mother should not have gone through.
The innocent always gets hurt in the end.
I don't believe in God
But understand that I should be thankful for being pregnant
As I said before there are Alot of women that are dying to have a baby.
They can't conceive or having problems
It's always good to talk to someone
Even though I don't know you or come from a different country.
But it's really hard.
I don't believe in abortions but at the time I wasn't ready
Still not ready.
Really afraid of getting hurt again
Emotionally and physically
At 15 weeks when I wanted to abort it
IT was very costly
I would have had to get rid of my $4,000 car I just bought plus get a $2,000 loan
Yeah it's Alot past 12 weeks
And now what goes through my head is to give it to someone else
There are many women out there that are trying for their first baby and I'm having my 4th.
Unfortunately
I can't get rid of the father that easily
I have a court order for our son and the father sees our son every week and has 2 nights of care with our son
I always have to see him when we do the pick up and drop off.
He may not be in a relationship with me but has rights to this baby.
He might be the one giving me all this bad thoughts
Cause I don't want to go through the same thing I did when our son was born.
Alot did happen and can promise it's something a mother should not have gone through.
The innocent always gets hurt in the end.
I don't believe in God
But understand that I should be thankful for being pregnant
As I said before there are Alot of women that are dying to have a baby.
They can't conceive or having problems
It's always good to talk to someone
Even though I don't know you or come from a different country.
But it's really hard.
I don't believe in abortions but at the time I wasn't ready
Still not ready.
Really afraid of getting hurt again
Emotionally and physically
Give the baby up for adoption.
Can I ask for your opinion exactly why
It's hard I know. Honestly the best answer I can give you is talk to God. He blessed you with 3 beautiful kids already and he makes no mistakes. As for the boyfriend part there's help out there to keep him away from you. Especially if he's abusing you. I pray your situation works out for the baby and your sake. Keep your head up and have faith.
I don't want to be rude
But I do not believe in God.
He did not bless me with 3 kids
I had sex and the contraception failed
Not married and having 3 kids and now 4th is actually a sin
But I don't care things happen
Here in Australia
If we don't follow a court order we both can go to prison
I unfortunately have to face him every week 2x a week.
Never going to get him out of my life until our son is 13 maybe 16
It will be his choice then if he wants to have a connection with his father or not
But I do not believe in God.
He did not bless me with 3 kids
I had sex and the contraception failed
Not married and having 3 kids and now 4th is actually a sin
But I don't care things happen
Here in Australia
If we don't follow a court order we both can go to prison
I unfortunately have to face him every week 2x a week.
Never going to get him out of my life until our son is 13 maybe 16
It will be his choice then if he wants to have a connection with his father or not
Do what's best for you and your family. Only you can come up with that answer, not anyone else on here. They don't know your situation.
If you want more subjective advice, you night want to try asking around on a different online forum. There are probably support groups for women in your situation. They might offer some different points of view
If you want more subjective advice, you night want to try asking around on a different online forum. There are probably support groups for women in your situation. They might offer some different points of view
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Frist, let me say that I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation and it is causing so much pain and anxiety. I certainly can understand when you describe the circumstances this pregnancy came about with as being one you question if you want to go through with or raise the child.
It's okay to not believe in God. That's a personal choice and many also are not religious. Your prerogative and therefore, finding what brings your own inner peace is what is important. This is about you, your life, etc. No one else's beliefs really matter. When asking if something is 'wrong', it has to be right or wrong for YOU. It's not wrong to have these thoughts, be looking at things REALISTICALLY and to put you and your other children first. If it is what makes your life work out in the end.
I think an already mom is in the best position to judge where she stands in terms of another baby. You already know how hard it is and how expensive. And babies are cheap compared to when they get older and actively want things or have activities, etc. So, I do not think it is a bad thing to say that you can not handle another child now.
Once you know that to be the case, then it is about choosing the best option. You're pretty far into your pregnancy. Many states do allow abortion in second and even third trimester. But as you said, it is expensive. However, the money it takes to have and raise a child far outweighs the price of an abortion. I'd check with each clinic near to you to make sure you have all the prices and ask about sliding fee scales. Sometimes, based on income, the price can be lowered. Of course, this is something you really have to want to do as an abortion is not easy emotionally. But when it appears to be the best option for someone, it does offer an alternative to having another child that breaks you completely out of the situation.
Adoption is another option which is a really nice one in that it is win win. You are free from raising another child while a couple who can't have a child on their own is given that opportunity. The downside is that you have to go through the pregnancy and you need to check in your state about issues with paternity and father's rights. Does he have to sign off? Would he give you a difficult time?
Or you could have and keep the baby and need a good plan to make it all work. Do know that it forever further ties you to this very difficult man which sounds less than ideal.
Document abuse so that if need be, you can protect your child from him by the way. If he is volatile and violent, I'd not feel safe with my child in his care.
So, put down pros and cons. There is no right or wrong in this case but whatever is best for YOU and your life hon. I'm here to help if I can. hugs
It's okay to not believe in God. That's a personal choice and many also are not religious. Your prerogative and therefore, finding what brings your own inner peace is what is important. This is about you, your life, etc. No one else's beliefs really matter. When asking if something is 'wrong', it has to be right or wrong for YOU. It's not wrong to have these thoughts, be looking at things REALISTICALLY and to put you and your other children first. If it is what makes your life work out in the end.
I think an already mom is in the best position to judge where she stands in terms of another baby. You already know how hard it is and how expensive. And babies are cheap compared to when they get older and actively want things or have activities, etc. So, I do not think it is a bad thing to say that you can not handle another child now.
Once you know that to be the case, then it is about choosing the best option. You're pretty far into your pregnancy. Many states do allow abortion in second and even third trimester. But as you said, it is expensive. However, the money it takes to have and raise a child far outweighs the price of an abortion. I'd check with each clinic near to you to make sure you have all the prices and ask about sliding fee scales. Sometimes, based on income, the price can be lowered. Of course, this is something you really have to want to do as an abortion is not easy emotionally. But when it appears to be the best option for someone, it does offer an alternative to having another child that breaks you completely out of the situation.
Adoption is another option which is a really nice one in that it is win win. You are free from raising another child while a couple who can't have a child on their own is given that opportunity. The downside is that you have to go through the pregnancy and you need to check in your state about issues with paternity and father's rights. Does he have to sign off? Would he give you a difficult time?
Or you could have and keep the baby and need a good plan to make it all work. Do know that it forever further ties you to this very difficult man which sounds less than ideal.
Document abuse so that if need be, you can protect your child from him by the way. If he is volatile and violent, I'd not feel safe with my child in his care.
So, put down pros and cons. There is no right or wrong in this case but whatever is best for YOU and your life hon. I'm here to help if I can. hugs
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