Aa
My "boyfriend" just asked me to get an abortion.. 18 weeks.
honestly.. What do I say or do? What do u all think? I thought I knew him, even through all the RED flags. Through the cheating and lies, i still believed in him. Now I don't know what to believe. How selfish can one be? How should I try and talk to him?
COMMUNITY LEADER
That's fine, it's your prerogative. Good luck to you.
PS: There is no shame in adoption. It's not for everyone but a fantastic option when someone isn't in a great position to raise a child. :>) It wasn't an insulting suggestion to ask about that.
PS: There is no shame in adoption. It's not for everyone but a fantastic option when someone isn't in a great position to raise a child. :>) It wasn't an insulting suggestion to ask about that.
No, I wouldn't when I want my baby! That's something I will always have to live with, I work my *** off and will continue to. I don't need him to keep my kid.
Adoption is a great option! It's such a huge blessing and the best way to give your baby a chance at a very happy life with two parents who are desperate for a baby but can't have their own. I've had several friends who have adopted kids and they are very happy kids. It gives me the warm and fuzzies everytime I visit them. I give a HUGE amount of credit to those women who have selflessly chosen to give their babies a better life because they knew they wouldn't be able to do it.
COMMUNITY LEADER
So I guess adoption isn't something you'll consider? I consider being a parent one of the hardest things I've ever done and I do recommend that young ladies are prepared for it. Only you know if you are in a good position to raise a baby or not. I wish the best for you hon. good luck
I will do it alone, I just know it's going to be hard without the EMOTIONAL support from my family (& him) he's saying this isn't what he wants but he ants to be with me "forever" and knows with a baby it will be harder .. ******** right,!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
To clarify, you need to check the laws in your state to see if abortion is something you can have. Indeed, some states do allow abortion at 18 weeks and beyond so there is some inaccurate information on this thread. It depends on where you live. Some take that route because they feel it is best for them but it has to be the woman's decision. Your boyfriend can not decide that for you.
he's telling you he does not want to raise this child. There is another good solution for you in adoption. Another family that can raise this baby, WANTS to raise this baby, is prepared to raise this baby is waiting for a child to adopt. There are more fantastic couples than there are babies to adopt.
I think great financial issues when one has a baby leads often to much hardship that ALL (including the baby) have to endure. That's just a fact. A lifetime of poverty is a cycle that can begin when a woman is not prepared to raise a child emotionally or financially.
So, it's not always best to raise a child on your own especially when you already can see it might be more than you can handle. It doesn't get easier once you have the baby. So, think about adoption and if this is something that can allow you to give your baby a good, safe and decent/stable home and you can go on with your life either with this baby or on your own with that peace of mind. good luck
he's telling you he does not want to raise this child. There is another good solution for you in adoption. Another family that can raise this baby, WANTS to raise this baby, is prepared to raise this baby is waiting for a child to adopt. There are more fantastic couples than there are babies to adopt.
I think great financial issues when one has a baby leads often to much hardship that ALL (including the baby) have to endure. That's just a fact. A lifetime of poverty is a cycle that can begin when a woman is not prepared to raise a child emotionally or financially.
So, it's not always best to raise a child on your own especially when you already can see it might be more than you can handle. It doesn't get easier once you have the baby. So, think about adoption and if this is something that can allow you to give your baby a good, safe and decent/stable home and you can go on with your life either with this baby or on your own with that peace of mind. good luck
& I'm SO sorry for your loss!!
Yeah and the best part about it is he said he "couldn't ever go with me" because he couldn't live with It but has asking that of me. I wouldn't be as afraid to be a single mom if I had any support else where, I don't have my mom or ANY family support, and I don't even know his family!
That is crazy if that's allowed. Smh but doing it by urself isn't as bad as it sounds. I should have got that thru my head my last pregnancies that I sadly lost at 20 weeks. Women have been doing this for years. Besides who knows, maybe our king will show up later down the road to help u with the load. Not only that but treat u how our suppose to be treated. I have faith in u. Keep us updated
You don't need someone like that being a single parent isn't as bad as everyone makes out if anything it just makes you more independent then you already are I wouldn't get the abortion because its you that has to live with it
I thought after 14 weeks it had to be a medical reason to, but nope, guess not. So crazy! They need to change that!!
Aww thank you! If I was going to get the a word I would have at the beggining, I could never. I'm just afraid to now learn I'm going to have to do this alone... But in MA ifs 23 weeks which is gross, I know I don't understand
U can't get an abortion unless there is something genetically wrong with the baby. I only know this BC they asked me if I wanted to terminate my pregnancy when they thought my baby had downs. Its or body so do what u want. You will be the one having to live with that choice. Your "boyfriend" is a **** fr. U do not need him for nothing. If you go to social services and explain your situation they will be able to assist you. All check into shelters for women and children. They help a lot to with getting on your feet when everybody else who is suppouse to love and support you vanish. Praying for you andu are not alone. Keep uror head up
& no after seeing his TRUE colors, I'm so turned off by him I wouldn't even WANT to be with him, or ANY "man" like that.
Thanks everyone. & to be honest, that's NOT the kid of man I would even WANT my baby go call "daddy" clearly it's guys like that who are just sperm donors and that's all they'll EVER be.
Not tryna b harsh or anything but i want u to think bout this if u do get it done do u realy think its gonna solve anything?? dont let no man come between u n ur unborn baby even if hes the father. My friend had da same problem and her stupid self did it and da guy went and got another girl and she got pregnant and now they a happy family so think bout it baby girl if u need help ill help even though udk me lol but think bout everything before u react hoping u make the right choice: )
If you truly feel you can't take care of your daughter there is always adoption, I had my first when I was 16 , his father asked for an abortion. Never would I ever , my babies have heartbeats and are the reason I live and breathe everyday. I'm now married and pregnant with baby number 3! He is not worth it and never will be! You and your daughter deserve a better man in your lives! And one day it will happen , until than raise your baby girl into a beautiful independent woman!
Sorry I was gone for a while, I was trying to talk to him on Skype... He can say everything over the phone but when it comes to face to face, he's not as confident in his own ******** he believes. He said "I'm trying to sleep" and I said "oh I'm sorry, but you're trying to take away ur child's right to do that. You have the rest of ur life to wake up every morning and go to bed. So I'm sorry if I think it's more important to talk about this" he faked sleeping and then freaked out on me because I said if u really loved the baby, like I do, abortion would never be option, you would say u can't give the life u want for your precious baby, but u know there are people who can. Every life deserves a life time" I guess he sees it differently ...
Im sorry you're going through this but please don't do it. You have reached that far and it wouldn't be too long til you gotta hold your little one. I've been on that situation tho i was just few weeks then but believe me or not abortion is a kind of decision that you would regret in your entire life. I know you will be a great mother to your child. Hang in there momma! Don't mind your boyfriend. He'll definitely regret what he told you when the moment he sees your baby.
U can't get an abortion after 12 weeks in the US either at least not in Texas I believe u and the clinic that does it can face criminal charges if they and u go . through the procedure.
Just let him be.. i never text my baby's father anymore i don't care about him anymore not my lost im gonna have my baby with me.. its his lost on your precious baby its a baby he created i dont understand how some people can be but just know that you can do it.
Leave him and be happy with your kids that kinda ******* guy sorry to say that
Dont do it. I was in the same position as you are i am now 36 weeks & hes in & out of my life only comes around when he wants. I thank god & my parents for making me realize the mistake i was going to make. Its all worth it dont do that. Youll live with it for the rest of a life. Dont choose what he wants over your own baby.
Maybe he's just scared so he thinks that its the only option. He could just not be able to grasp the consept of parenthood yet. It takes time every person handles a unplanned pregnancy differently. He could be talking to others too much and someone talked him into it. If you know him then trust yourself and talk to him about it.
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