Aa
no judgment advice
I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I have a 3 bed room house and my 2 sons share and bedroom right now. I am freaking out that I am being selfish to my children to keep this child. The plan was always two children and now my boys will have no choice to share a room forever. Are these normal thoughts...
COMMUNITY LEADER
And let me just say something else, I do think siblings are a great gift to each other. Absolutely.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I guess I kind of get where you are coming from. I would love more kids BUT my kiddos have a pretty sweet deal now, right?
You are not at all selfish for worrying about how another baby will impact all the little things in your family like room arrangement, activities and schools for kids you can afford, family vacations that may be impacted, whatever. It's all valid.
I'm really practical. And get the practical financial concerns of more kids.
My husband was one of 7. He hated sharing a room, being one of a crowd, not having his college paid for because it wasn't fair to pay for one and you couldn't afford to pay for all, etc. But he has things that he liked about it too. Lots of them. And he does love his siblings.
Doesn't' mean you wont love your baby. I'm sure you will. :>)
You are not at all selfish for worrying about how another baby will impact all the little things in your family like room arrangement, activities and schools for kids you can afford, family vacations that may be impacted, whatever. It's all valid.
I'm really practical. And get the practical financial concerns of more kids.
My husband was one of 7. He hated sharing a room, being one of a crowd, not having his college paid for because it wasn't fair to pay for one and you couldn't afford to pay for all, etc. But he has things that he liked about it too. Lots of them. And he does love his siblings.
Doesn't' mean you wont love your baby. I'm sure you will. :>)
I think it could be more fun sharing a room with your sibling
My parents had 4 kids. Two boys and two girls. My dad had a good job, but our house had 3 bedrooms. My two brothers shared and me and my sister shared for the longest time. I never thought a thing about it. It was just normal for us. Alot of kids share bedrooms and there is nothing wrong with that :)
I have a four bedroom house and have five girls. We planned on the oldest having her own room the four and six yr old sharing and the three and two yr olds sharing. They all have their own beds and when we found out we were having a boy we decided he would have his own room. Well even though the girls have their own beds and two rooms they can split into they insist on all sharing one room and they all pile into one twin bed.
What is wrong with two boys sharing a room? They will be fine and it will not hurt them. It is normal thoughts though but not selfish to keep your baby. Maybe a little selfish for that being the reason not to keep a baby (not judging). If you really think it is important for them to have their own rooms I am sure their is a family who can't have a baby who would have a free room for your new baby. There are things that are important to mother's and even though some of us may think it is a little silly, it would not make it any less important to you. If you decide you just can't make them share adoption is a very unselfish deed and would make some couple very happy. Just keep in mind that sharing a room will make them closer and never killed anyone. I shared a room with my brother till we got too old then I shared a room with my mom till I was about fifteen and my brother moved out so I had my own room. We were all very close so it did not bother us, my girls are all very close so they love to share a room. When we forced them to sleep in their own rooms they cried at bed time till we agreed to let them sleep in the same room.
What is wrong with two boys sharing a room? They will be fine and it will not hurt them. It is normal thoughts though but not selfish to keep your baby. Maybe a little selfish for that being the reason not to keep a baby (not judging). If you really think it is important for them to have their own rooms I am sure their is a family who can't have a baby who would have a free room for your new baby. There are things that are important to mother's and even though some of us may think it is a little silly, it would not make it any less important to you. If you decide you just can't make them share adoption is a very unselfish deed and would make some couple very happy. Just keep in mind that sharing a room will make them closer and never killed anyone. I shared a room with my brother till we got too old then I shared a room with my mom till I was about fifteen and my brother moved out so I had my own room. We were all very close so it did not bother us, my girls are all very close so they love to share a room. When we forced them to sleep in their own rooms they cried at bed time till we agreed to let them sleep in the same room.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I would die if I had to share a room with my sister. ha ha (kidding). I'm sure there is much to it. We al know that each child requires a certain amount of finances to support them. We only have so much money so each child has less with every new child added. That's just the reality. This is something that my husband and I talk about regarding the size of our family. We have things we want to be able to do with each child and if we added more than what we planned, that would cut into that. I mean, you make adjustments but it is a reality of growing your family. It's okay to talk about the loss and disappointment of your financial plans for your existing kids when a new baby surprises you. it's life.
It all tends to work out but the finances of an added child are real.
It all tends to work out but the finances of an added child are real.
I shared a room with my sister until we were in middle school, and again for awhile after that until she was in high school she's 2 years younger than me, anyway we're really close now and have been for years. We go shopping together, go to eat together, drive around together, etc, she goes to some of my appts with me. But since I've gotten bigger and more tired we haven't hung out quite as much but still talk basically every day. I think if we didn't share rooms we wouldn't be so close. We had no choice but to share everything and I think for the better in the end. Hope that helps ease your mind a bit knowing it can bringing siblings closer .
Also, I don't think it's selfish to have another baby. I definitely don't think that you should base your decision on to keep it or not on your 2 older ones having to share a room. I promise you, they will be fine.
You're not selfish hun. I think these are normal mom thoughts just wanting the very best for your children. Your boys sharing a room is not a bad thing. They might even enjoy as time goes on. I think you're being hard on yourself but I get it. Plans change, surprises happen! Try not to sweat the small stuff. I'm sure your boys will be so excited for their new sibling :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think they are normal if this baby is a huge surprise which it sound like it is. Babies aren't always the most welcome things to someone's life and require a big adjustment to our way of thinking. :>)
Yes, but kids never died from having to share a room. If you had like 4 or 5 kids to a room that would be a different story. They will be fine and may even like it.
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