tough decisions.

[Sergia]

Hey, ladies i know this might be the right community to ask this. Here's  a little  story, i have 2 kids already 2and a half and 1 and a half.  After baby number 2 bf and i broke up for a yr. We started to try  to make it work a few months ago. A couple  of days ago i took a pregnancy  test cuz i was late. Im pregnant with baby number 3.. baby  daddy doesnt want  it at all he started  calling me all types of mean names, needed  to say its going to work out. So here is where my problem begin im conflict im currently  unemployed, loat my job, about to go into public assistant  until i get  on my feet, i have 2 kids already, very young  kids. I dont know what to do, i change  my mind at least 5 times a day on what i should  do, at my point i feel its okay i can handle 3 kids and its no5 gonna prevent  me from getting bqck on my feet on the other hand i feel like its not the right tim3 to have another one, im afraid  to tell my family ciz i know they are going to be disappointed im pregnant again. I don't  have any support close by. I just dont know what to do.

[specialmom]

Sometimes after having had a child, we understand better what is entailed and it isn't always the best thing to have another child at that particular point in time.  There is not shame in this in my opinion as having a baby is a huge undertaking.  You have to really think about what is best for you sweetie.  good luck and here to help if you need it.

[celestecollins]

Every pregnancy and emotions are different.  U will do what is best.  What did the family say?

[Sergia]

Thank you ladies for all your advice  and blessings.  Well he took the liberty  to tell my family trying to convince  them to  convince  me to abort, how moble of him, but im still taking something time to think about it. It a huge decision and i just simply  dont understand  why im so unsure of what's  right, i didn't  have this probl qith my first 2, not a second thought  i was having them and that was the end of that.

[veronica_12]

What i think u should do in the first place is get rid of that bf that obviously he doesnt care for u or his unborn child, u tell him ur preg and the first thing he does when ur giving him another chance is insult u and tell u he doesn't want it!!!!!!! Look i got laid off 2 months before i found out i was pregnant i have 4 kids and ive been raising them on my own and providing everything for them since 6 yrs ago, i knew it was ganna be tough because i dont have a job and that wasnt ganna be a reason for me to get an abortion, i dont know why some women get preg and then look at their unborn child as an obstacle or something thats going to cause u struggle in ur life if all kids do is give u a piece of urself bring happiness and smiles to u and for those who dont feel that way i feel sorry for u a baby or ur kids only mean happyness in ur life, and for the person who said that getting an abortion shouldn't make u feel shame thats just amazing how could u say that ur killing ur own child !!!!!!!!!! I lost a baby and believe me it feels horrible and i cant even imagine what it feels like to just kill ur baby bbecause ur not ready or because its ganna be a struggle. I advise u to get rid of ur gd for nothing bf and put him on child support to see if that makes him a real man because a real man and someone that loves u and ur givin another chance is not ganna tell u to go and get rid of his owm child because hes not man enough to take care of it but he is to make it !!!!!!!! And if u decide to stay with him and abort ur baby later on if ur bf flips on u ur only going to feel worse because ur ganna remember u aborted ur baby for someone that u already knew wasnt worth it gd luck

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome. Agree that it is such a hard situation.  This is one that only you can make.  People can say keep the baby but they won't be there to help you when you have it.  People can tell you not to keep the baby but they don't have to deal with any unpleasant emotions from termination.  So, it really has to be what you want.

There is no shame in termination and it can be the right choice for some women.  You can research your area to know where you could go, how much it would cost, etc. to have those facts.  You can think about if a baby is manageable at this time.  And if so, begin making plans.  You can look into adoption (calling an adoption lawyer is a good resource for that).

there are pluses and minuses to each choice.  You really have to weight what is best for you and what would be best for all of your kids.  Sometimes it simply isn't the right choice to try to raise another child when times are bad.  But then again, plenty of women make it work.

So, I'm here to help you if I can or if you want to talk.  This is about YOU and your needs hon.  peace

[celestecollins]

Only u can make that choice. I had my 1st the month b4 I turned 16. My kids father died and I found out I was pregnant wit number 2 right after.  I kept my baby because it was mine and he was sent to me for a reason unknown! My family was very unhappy with my decision but they stood by me because they love me. I am now married and about to have baby 3. My job closed down and unemployment is making me miserable. Bills are piling up but I no in my heart all things are since for a reason. Any 1 of my kids might have to be the ones to take care of my in my elder years! U will make the right decision

[brinajones12]

Tbh sweetie I think you should keep the child I know its gonna get hard you have no help and you don't have no job a baby is a blessing I have 4 pregnant with my 5th but I take care of 3 and the one that's on its way I didn't plain on having that many it happen do they drive me crazy yes is there father in there life no what I'm saying its gonna be good days and bad days I don't believe in killing my child cause that's what you doing is killing your unborn child my mom wanted me to get an abortion I said no she kick me out for 2days and the rules change for 2 months she still say stuff about the baby every now and then but when the baby comes everything gonna change  and ask yourself this will you be able to deal with that you had an abortion I say this if you pretty sure you can't raise this child why not bless a couple that can't have a child do an open adoption

[GeekMom1213]

That is a hard situation to be in. And unfortunately nobody can make that choice except for you. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it and you've got your head on straight, nobody ever wants to have to make that kind of choice but you're going to have to decide one way or another. Is there anyone you could talk to - a friend, a family member you could trust not to spill the beans, your doctor? Sometimes it just helps to put it all out there - talking to someone about it can sometimes make the answer clearer. The most important thing you have to think about in my opinion is the kids you already have and how the choices you make could affect them. Your little ones need you and especially if their daddy isn't going to be around that's not going to be easy - but you know all that to begin with. You know what your choices are and none of them are a walk in the park. But nobody can force you - you have to choose for yourself. No matter what you decide there are people who will judge you for it - but you have to remember that nobody gets to decide what's best for your life and your family except for you. Your body, your life, your family, your choice. And nobody else's business.
Best of luck to you. I truly wish you the best no matter what. Don't let people get you down.