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6 Weeks - Unsure on termination.
Hi there,
I know this is such a trigger subject for people, but anyway.
I was being really really careful, used condoms, etc, checked for signs of ovulation.. and somehow, on my PCOS riddled 50 cycle, I'm suddenly 5 weeks pregnant after finishing my period on the 6th of oct. So, I guess I ovulated around a week and a bit after the bleeding stopped.
Partner and I are about to move to Swansea from Scotland! We don't have a place of our own yet, but we do work, albeit not a lot of money, probably about £30k total from the two of us.
It's a bit of a shock, to be honest. Whilst we'd love to have a child, we don't feel as though we could give it our very best at the moment, so I am considering a termination.
I don't know what do to! My feelings are all over the place. Help.
I know this is such a trigger subject for people, but anyway.
I was being really really careful, used condoms, etc, checked for signs of ovulation.. and somehow, on my PCOS riddled 50 cycle, I'm suddenly 5 weeks pregnant after finishing my period on the 6th of oct. So, I guess I ovulated around a week and a bit after the bleeding stopped.
Partner and I are about to move to Swansea from Scotland! We don't have a place of our own yet, but we do work, albeit not a lot of money, probably about £30k total from the two of us.
It's a bit of a shock, to be honest. Whilst we'd love to have a child, we don't feel as though we could give it our very best at the moment, so I am considering a termination.
I don't know what do to! My feelings are all over the place. Help.
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. I hope you aren't too sad about not being pregnant. I understand you were struggling with what to do and in some weird way, it is nice when we no longer are forced to make the decision. Anyway, much luck to you.
Hi, I just wanted to share I had a termination a few years ago but it was bc I was in a very unhealthy relationship nd didn't want that for my baby. Now I am 7 weeks pregnant , with an amazing man and been having problems for the last 11 weeks. Latelyi have been wondering if it is bad karma and I am afraid I will lose our baby. Think about it and be very sure because there is no going back huh...make sure that whatever ur decision is, it is the best choice for all 3 of you....good luck xxxx
You gotta do what's best for you, whatever you may feel that is just remember there will never be a perfect time to have a baby,life's to crazy an uncertain for that. good luck!
It depends on ur religion and feelings about it, but trust me, it is something u would regret later in life, no child is a mistake, if ur pregnant now,that means its meant to be. Its a blessing that u r tryin to get rid of. We all deserve a chance in this world,so does ur baby, he/she deserve to live.....what if this child is the only child u will be able to have in this life? Think about it, dont let whatever it is ur going thru influence ur decision.
From ur previous post, u seem like ur tryin to get pregnant and praying to get a bfp, and u seemed upset when u got bfn, so am trying to figure out why this post now that ur finally pregnant.
And it's a sign that if you got pregnant with PCOS and also trying to prevent it, that maybe this baby is meant to be.
Yes I am confused, werent you posting before about being upset with negative results...
U r so lucky to fall pregnant with pcos naturally... Since age of 20 i hve been working out eating healthy etc to concieve.... It drove me crazy... I had to eat so many medication to fall pg last yr at age of 22 only to know its failed pregnancy... I just gave up on being a mother... N now i m pg again after 5 months of misery n suffering n medication... N i pray everyday i get to hold my child in march... Its going 5yrs of me n dh hving baby....
I know decision is urs... Fighting with pcos child is a blessing... U never know u mite hve to work hard like me afterwards... Takecares
I know decision is urs... Fighting with pcos child is a blessing... U never know u mite hve to work hard like me afterwards... Takecares
have you thought of giving the baby up to someone else? Either way it is your choice, just make sure its what you really want to do, and won't regret it later. hugs
I can honestly say I would cry everytime I had a negative pregnancy test, now I'm pregnant and (This may be anxiety induced) and am doubting everything! Will I be a good mom? Will my relationship be okay? no one is ever ready with their first child, planned or not no one is ever ready. It's a life changing decision, but then I think about being able to hold my child, and being called "mommy" and watching him or her grow. it won't be easy and your life is going to change forever, but if it wasnt meant to happen then you wouldnt have gotten pregnant. and i strongly believe that.
You are extremely lucky to be able to fall pregnant without medical assistance with policysic ovarian syndrome.
I am slightly confused by this post too.
You sound like you could give a child a decent life. My husband earns peanuts unfortunately but we are both very good parents and no matter what we still find ways to give our children a good life.
At the end of the day you will do what is best for you. On a forum like this nobody is going to agree with you on a termination..its a decision only you can make
I am slightly confused by this post too.
You sound like you could give a child a decent life. My husband earns peanuts unfortunately but we are both very good parents and no matter what we still find ways to give our children a good life.
At the end of the day you will do what is best for you. On a forum like this nobody is going to agree with you on a termination..its a decision only you can make
To those confused about my previous posts, I had lost a baby and think I suffered a little, as my body went through a lot and I was *convinced* I was pregnant, therefore it upset me a little when I found out I wasn't!
I think I'm now panicking because it's *real* after having lost a baby and recieving negative tests. I really really need to think about this long and hard.
Oh, and I was being careful as we'd decided we'd wait a little while to get settled in the new place, save up a little cash here and there. However, it's happening really fast now and I'm not sure how to cope.
People make it work if they want. My mom and dad were only 18 when they found out they were expecting me and my mom felt like you did. Thank god my didn't and saved my life! Today I am 33 years old and college educated with a great job and and married. My has said to me thank god I didn't have an abortion you are the light of my life and we are very close. Sure it was hard but worth it she and my did not work out and he was not around so we did not have much but we had each other and the love and support from my mom is all that mattered. GL with your choice but remember you can't go back once it is done.
Well you're just going through what EVERY mama goes through! Even the ones who are really wealthy. It's normal to have these emotions and being afraid of bringing a baby into a home where finances are tough, that's called being a mama girl!
I agree even if the pregnancy is planned I think that when you see those two lines theres abit of panic involved... just remember babies dont cost much, you dont need new things, we put the pressure on ourselves to get all the top range baby things, babies have no idea what type of pram they're in or if they are wearing clothes that another baby has, if you breastfeed then all you will really need evey week is nappies if you decide on disposables or there are some really good cloth ones now :)
I agree by the time u get moved u will.still.have time to save and whatnot u have 35 weeks left. Don't terminate just because it was not planned it may be ur only chance.
At 6 weeks your baby already has a heart beat and the sex has already been determined...if your not ready there are a ton of parents who are, so consider adoption.
I know the ins and outs of it all. I don't believe in 'meant to be' or 'karma' or anything like that. I'm atheist and have no strong belief either way about abortion, only that we should have the option.
At the end of the day, we would manage fine with a baby. I've priced everything I'd need and we have a support network. We'd scrape by and that child wouldn't have *everything I think* it deserves as my child. I don't want to get by, I want to give it the BEST chance. I understand that moment may never become apparant, but it's not today and it won't be anytime soon.
It's a very difficult decision for me, because it's a beautiful process with an even better 'gift' at the end. However, I can't just have a baby because I *want* it. I have to assess what's best not only for myself, but my partner and the child.
Try not to think of me as heartless. My mother raised me poorly at a young age, whilst my partner is a twin from a single mother who had NO money growing up. We don't want to put that child anywhere near the possibility of that situation. I am sure that once we're settled, we'll try for one. This pregnancy is a shock and I'm almost sure I won't go through with it.
If I regret it, then I regret it. These decisions are not made lightly and should be considered at length, looking at all of your available options. However, lifes full of hard choices and this is one I have to make.
At the end of the day, we would manage fine with a baby. I've priced everything I'd need and we have a support network. We'd scrape by and that child wouldn't have *everything I think* it deserves as my child. I don't want to get by, I want to give it the BEST chance. I understand that moment may never become apparant, but it's not today and it won't be anytime soon.
It's a very difficult decision for me, because it's a beautiful process with an even better 'gift' at the end. However, I can't just have a baby because I *want* it. I have to assess what's best not only for myself, but my partner and the child.
Try not to think of me as heartless. My mother raised me poorly at a young age, whilst my partner is a twin from a single mother who had NO money growing up. We don't want to put that child anywhere near the possibility of that situation. I am sure that once we're settled, we'll try for one. This pregnancy is a shock and I'm almost sure I won't go through with it.
If I regret it, then I regret it. These decisions are not made lightly and should be considered at length, looking at all of your available options. However, lifes full of hard choices and this is one I have to make.
It sounds like you've already made up your mind, and I don't think your parent has anything to do with how you'll parent. You choose a different path, you choose what you didn't like and what you feel needs to be done differently. If you can afford it, and you feel like you want your child, and can love him/her, I don't get what you think is NOT a good time for you and your significant other? I don't think everyone is saying anything about religion or karma, it's about physically, if you cannot get pregnant again, after a loss, then a termination, because terminations can cause infertility or issues carrying a pregnancy to term, so if you DID get pregnant again with pcos, which that in itself can be very very difficult, you'd regret not keeping the one you were given. Either way, everyone gave their opinion on the options you have, but no one can make that decision but you, if you feel like you're almost sure you won't go through with it, what did you want us to say? There are women that get pregnant (accidentally or on purpose) in a LOT worse circumstances than you, and turn out to be great parents. There are parents that make tons of money, live in mansion and are terrible parents, it's all about what you choose to do. Good luck either way in whatever you decide!!
It does sound like you have already made your decision....and like ktowne said, your parents don't have anything to do with how you will parent since you're aware of their shortcomings in that area. I don't understand though why you are considering abortion bc in your question you said it was about money and giving your child the best etc but then you said that you figured it up and you guys could make it. I believe in a women's right to have an abortion....but I know first hand that it isn't a decision that you should make lightly. It's the after effects that make it such a difficult process, waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to stand hearing the sound of a vacuum, and many many more not to mention what you go through if you decide to have another baby. It's a hard process, I just hope that if you are going to make that decision that you first make sure It is the right one for you ( money shouldn't play a part in, there is no income requirement for being a parent, and there are many programs that will help you out like wic etc) please don't think that abortion is just a decision you make and then it's all done, it's a decision that you make that has after effects and will effect you for the rest of your life, no matter how strong and prepared you think you may be. Good luck to you, I hope you make the right decision for yourself, no matter what I may be.
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