I seriously need reassurance, my labia minora is NOT NORMAL

[your lil' sister]

I think my vagina is very very ugly. the labia minora is a darkened color and it is almost 2 times longer that the outer lips. My boyfriend is a lot more experienced than i am. I've only been with one other guy before him. He says that i am "different", but won't admit whether it turns him off or not. But our sex is still great. i've seen pictures and videos of other people's vaginas and it only makes me feel uglier.
Please tell me that there are others out there with the same "problem". i wish i had a pretty little pink one like the girls in porn clips; but i do not want surgery. We love eachother very much and i don't want this "isseue" to ruin our sexlife due to my lack of self esteem. Big sisters..please help!

[mandymoo1983]

everybodys are certainly different there is no normal looking vagina those ones you see on the movies are porno stars they have everything perfect other wise they wouldent be in the job beleive me more people then not have this problem not that its a problem your not the only one that thinks that though.

[oceans3]

ya know what? and this is my opinion! show me a vagina that IS pretty! vaginas are not the most attractive part of our bodies. i often wonder why men think they are so attractive. what you describe sounds like a typical vagina to me! i am not sure why you think yours is so unusual? i don't know your age but it does seem as if the area darkens as we get older. i always think it looks like a hunk of medium to rare roast beef!

men are very visual. if you feel confident and sexy with yourself and eager to show him, he will think its sexy no matter what it looks like. your're fine.

[monkeyflower]

No, no, it IS normal. There's enormous variation in color, size, shape and texture of labia... I believe it was Betty Dodson who said labia are like snowflakes - all are different, and all are beautiful. Some are very thick, some are very thin, some are practically non-existant, some are long, some are black or gray, some are pale pink... it's all over the map. I am quite sure that however yours look, they ARE beautiful. You might check out the book Femalia, by Joani Blank, for some great photos of labia. And check out Betty Dodson's site - not only does she have lots of vulva illustrations, but she is SO sex-positive and accepting, it would help you feel better about yourself. Also, there are tons of websites with photos of women with large labia. Many, many, MANY guys (and women) find it an enormous turnon ;-)

[Todoamiga]

Mine changed as I got older, darker and after a baby, have similar length that you are describing - so PLEASE don't feel strange or alone. I can't remember when, but when I noticed the changes from a smaller and less colored labia minora to what it is now I felt it was not attractive either, and wondered what was up. It was like it got stretched out... which is probably partly true I guess - 9 lb baby was no piece of cake to push out!

Enjoy yourself and your body... Todo

[shamanda]

There is a book called "Femaila" that I encourage you to check out.  It's a collection of pictures of vaginas, nothing else.  It's artistic, not pornographic and the point of it is to show how different they all are and that there is no normal.  

[Todoamiga]

Have to tell ya -- I even took out a mirror and did a check (haven't looked down there in awhile)after reading your post and medium-rare slice of roast beef category for me it is as well! My thought is you may be more in the norm/avg category as far as size, color and shape than you realize, but I'm no expert here!

[your lil' sister]

i would like to thank all of you for taking the time to leave me a message. i am feeling a lot better and most important- i feel a lot more pretty and for once "normal".

Thank you guys!!! :-)

[bak9591]

I'm going through the same problem also except maybe worse .I'm very insecure about my vagina and think that it looks too "loose" and "darkened" on some spots. The most embarrassing thing is that im too young for this problem (just turned twenty years old) Between the ages of ten and twelve years old, it was incredibly itchy "down there”. Because I was a child, I would just constantly relieve it until eventually my right labia kind of "popped out" and became so incredibly loose that it no longer itched. The itchy problem was solved but once I turned thirteen years old, I had realized what I had done. As the years went by it got a little worse through just wiping myself and masturbating (I’m only human). Just recently I lost my virginity, but my boyfriend was really annoyed with the "don't look and don't touch with your hands or tongue policy." I was annoyed with myself to and still am. And ever since I lost my virginity the problem got a hundred times worse over night. Not only does my vagina look terrible, but it is also starting to feel uncomfortable and hurt a little bit. At least before I could ignore it most of the time but now that I can feel my biggest insecurity, I am constantly reminded of it. I’m too embarrassed to tell my mother, and I’m going to be humiliated when I go to my first gyno check up this month. Even if I did speak up about it, there is nothing that can be done. I can't afford the expensive surgeries and I know that my mother's insurance won't pay for it. I regret so much of not speaking up as child when my vagina was obviously irritated. So now I have this life long problem that is ruining my sex life and relationships with men. Do I know what you're going through? Are there others like you out there? Yes and I'm one of them.

[anom12]

girls- you need to google around the internet here's a site for example that shows some pictures www.sexylabia.com its a little pornographic- but you'll see that you're normal...

[ilvsydnarianna]

I'm 22 and when I was younger I felt the same way only because the only other vaginas I saw were my little middleschool boyfriends playboys they would bring to school( kids...) I was terrified of becoming sexually active because I swear I thought mine had to be disfigured and not "normal" when I finally did have sex with my boyfriend I did the same and didn't let him really look or touch down there which now that I look back on it killed the experience haha... but eventually in my search to be normal I looked up pictures of vaginas and they mostly all looked something like me and when I researched surgery for it honestly I think the surgery makes u look waaay more abnormal...the best thing is to be confident and know u are normal because there is no specific way to look and if ur boyfriend is so mature and experienced himself he would also know this...by the way they're  hardly ever light pretty pink like u see in movies....just relax it'll get better it did for me

[tracee529]

i read masturbation and sex can't make it worse?

[saraless123]

This is not true. There are virgins (who haven't masturbated) with large labia. Labia size and amount of sex and masturbation is not related.

[kristenlove]

Masturbation, itching, sex...nothing can literally change the outer appearance of anyone's vulva, unless someone were to hang weights on them for long extended periods of time.  I don't know of anyone who does that...

I have longer labia minora too, and I will be the first to admit I had the same insecurites everyone else has had.  They were too long, to dark, too whatever...and guess what?  It was all in my head!  You all have got to understand that labia and vulvas are a lot like noses.  Not one of them is the same, but they all have the same parts.  Every female on the planet has the same parts, the exact way those parts are shaped vary TREMEDOUSLY from woman to woman.  

I don't usually recommend anyone to look at porn, but search the word "labia" in google!! DIREGARD THE LABIA SURGERY SITES. All they want is your money to "fix" your perfectly gorgeous labia.  

If someone doesn't like your labia, they don't deserve a beautiful, exotic woman in the first place!  And I can tell them that for you!  

PS.  I am getting married this next May, and my fiance and I have already discussed my pouty lips.  He can't wait to have them all to himself every day and night!  

=] Keep your chin up! You ARE NORMAL.

[emjay230]

I am only fifteen and I am really worried. I am just about getting into a proper relationship now but there's no way I would have sex now because I am embarrased of my labia minora. I have gone so far to show people and they have said its fine but it looks really long compared to others and I am a virgin. I have talked to my best friend but it was really hard, I don't think she really understood. Can anyone help me please?! I would be so grateful! Thanks, EJB.

[feralbeast]

Hi, I am a guy and let me tell you one thing first....variety is the spice of life!

Now, you are different, all women are different and that is the excitement men receive from different women.....you just need to make sure your man is done with his wandering years though.

I have seen the full spectrum of lips.  all dark, all light, light with dark edges, non existent lips, larger than normal clitoris.  The are all nice; that is the bottom line...they are all nice!

Now, I prefer to see the female anatomy vice not...so the more the better.  Again, I do not prefer the little to no lips but they will suffice.  Variety is the spice of life.

btw, i am married and i do not engage in that "variety" thing anymore...but there was a time when i did....it was after my divorce from a cheating spouse who had a darked edge on her lips (i hate that now for obvious reasons!)  My current wife has the entire region darker as well but does not have the black trim on the edge.  She has normal size lips but a larger than normal clitoris.  Regardless, I love my wife and that is what makes her special...what sets her apart.  I crave her body parts and cant live without them!

You are fine!  In fact I would say beautiful but out of respect for our partners I will refrain!

[GRose]

what an awful thing to say, jack ***

[ithinkihaveaproblem]

What a loser.
That person obviously has only been with one person or none.
Even on porn they sizes and colours are different.
Everyone is different!
I think my clitoris is a little bigger than normal, but my boyfriend likes it.
Be more confident and love yourself.

[linda]

rub your labias on your boyfriends face...he'll definately love it trust me,boys always gets turned on by the sweet aroma of our feminity. try it...it'll work,keep posting

[LW28]

hi, and i think i'm going through the same thing as you. except i'm a bit behind, i'm 15 and have noticed for a few years that my right labia minoria just kinda popped out one day. i don't recall scratching it obsessivly but something is deffinately strange. i want to talk to my mom about it but would be way too embarassed. the left side looks completly normal and can't understand what happened.  the right side looks pretty gross to me and multiple times i've tried to tuck in the weird little flap but i know that no matter what i do if and when i ever with a guy and he's down "there" i know it'll come untucked or whatever and the only thing i'll be thinking about is what he is thinking and if he thinks its gross.  i feel like i ruined my future sex life and its killing me.  if anyone as any tips or advice please let me know!

[theransom]

I am also 15, and I'm not sure when, but one day my labia minoria just popped out. Since then I've been very insecure about it, and wondering if it's normal or if I'm just a freak. I have had sex, and the guy didn't seem to mind, but I'm still not sure. Does anyone know what causes people to have large labia minoria?

[Alicebvt]

Please, please, please do NOT worry or concern yourselves, girls & women, boys & men, with the appearance, structure, or form of your body. Lips, clits, penises and vaginas are the standard issue with the corperal form into which your mortal soul comes into the world. The CHOICES we make have the impact on the world in which we live.

The size, color or smell of your sexual organs have nothing to do with anything, unless you are ill. We should all concern ourselves with our behavior instead of how our bodies appear. Hey, Lads & Lasses, we are only on this world for a short stint. Let's make the most of it. I pray that we can all be kind to each other & treat our family members right.

Alice. I am a UK ***** who doesn't understand why EVERYONE just doesn't do what's right. Sigh.

[Shayybaby]

I am also 15, I have large labia,
and I love them.
They are wonderfull, trust me a girl with just a plain old slit would be bored of oral sex...
I can't get enough. Maybe it's bad for me to say that at this age?
but when you find someone who truly loves you for who you are (and they are part of who you are, absolutely beautiful) he'll be happy to even be in bed with you!
just be proud of what you've got, because no one else has one quite like yours and come on - if we were all the same then men wouldnt care who they married or slept with.. in fact I don't think they'd even bother.

And if anyone still has issues with thier labia I would quite happily show you just how nice they are!

[cappii]

I have noticed, in my experience, that women with large Labia Minora (Inner lips) also have larger clitorises.  For me, personally, I find this to be more of a good thing than a bad thing.  Sure, you can go and compare yourself to those air-brushed ******* in Playboy, and get down about how yours looks, but before you do, why don't you have your significant other go compare themselves to Peter North or John Holmes.  That will make them feel sufficiently insufficient enough to realize that they, themselves, are not as well endowed as they wish.  Fact is, NO woman's bodies that I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who worked in exotic dance clubs for several years, as well as having been around the block a few times) is ever 100% perfect.  I have seen women with "perfect" breasts, but unattractive labias, and I have seen women with text book privates, but unattractive breasts.  I've seen some who are generally good all over, and some who are generally bad all over.  Fact is, it is our personal imperfections that make us perfect to someone out there.

My wife is young.  I was her first, and her Labia was large before we met.  She felt that she was different, and was worried that something was wrong with her, but, when I first saw her nude, and liked I saw, she was relieved.  You, as well, will find that your guy will not only "not mind" your large lips, but, if will find that they are more than useful in giving pleasure.

I've been with women with all sorts of body types....  if every one were the same, life would be boring.

[mytwocents29]

Hi, I'm 29 and have had the same problem when I was younger. Only I wasn't so worried about it then (I did ask my Mom back then and she said hers were like that, too) and I am definitely not worried about it now! One side of my labia minora is way bigger than the other and hangs out and the other isn't. I always thought this was kind of cool and I used to kind of "play" with it a lot - I got the feeling I was making it more prominent by doing so - but hey, my body is my body.
I really think it's nothing to worry about - nobody ever thought this was unattractive or even mentioned it. Because it isn't. And I'm married, so plenty of experience there.
So just enjoy your labia for what they are - and trust me, no boyfriend is  going to care. They're going to think it attractive, most likely.
Anyways, to bak9591: You describe some discomfort, like pain and itching. You might have a vaginal infection of some kind. Yeast infections are common and unpleasant. If that still continues, you should probably ask an Ob/Gyn for advice - I had a yeast infection when I started the pill and it was very annoying.

[danceanna]

up until this moment I had no idea that I wasn't the only one! I am 17. I'm definitely in the category of dark and long but before today I had considered myself in the category of 'bound to be a virgin forever' because every time I got close to a guy I'd panic, not because I was uncomfortable with being close but because I was uncomfortable with myself, I thought it was some kind of mutation. I have felt this way since I was about 10 or 11. I feel like I actually have potential for a real relationship now, one that will begin without me being certain it has to end.
Now if I ever have a daughter I'll make sure she knows that whatever she looks like down there is absolutely perfect!
Thank you everyone for lifting this weight off me and, as I read, many other girls as well!!
Take care of your bodies, whatever they look like!