Need help fast!!

[dmjain6]

Hi! My friends sister showed me this site and said that it was a good one to ask questions. I need help making a decission. I don't want to make the wrong choice, so I need you guys ideas please. I am wanting a baby. I have been with this boy for a long time now and want to have his baby. But the prob is that he isn't very cute and I scared that we have a ugly baby. I have this other boy that is really cute but I don't love him but he loves me. He said that he would have sex with me to have a baby and we not tell my boyfriend the truth. He said that he dont want to be a dad but because he loves me he would give me a baby and not be it's daddy. What you think I should do? I really don't want to have a ugly baby, I don't think I could handle that. but I want my boyfriend to be the father. but if he changes diapers and watches it when I want to go shopping and is there to read him books then he is actualy his father right? I really need help wiht this cause it's a huge choice. and I don't have much time. I need to have sex in the next few days cause then I will ovulate and get pregnant. I don't want to wait till next month.
thank you all for helping me.
Oh yeah, one more thing, my boyfriend doesn't wnat to have a baby right now but said that he will be a good father if I ever get pregnant and will give me money to go shopping when I want and help when it's not a good baby, can you choose if it's a boy or girl? I would like a girl cause she can go shopping with me but if it's a girl then I won't have as much money to go shopping. boys don't like shopping.

Renee

[redbone00803]

first of all i feel the person that post this is a damn kid and this got to be a joke....people out here have kids for the wrong reason...now y in the world would she make a pork child to give to someone thats not de father... i mean be real u think the ******* child wont resemble the owner...i mean come de **** on mehn.... ppl like this need to jus throw themself in de damn garbage because they are waste.  

[adeal064]

My goodness! This IS REAL! And you all should be ashamed for not helping. Obviously you're mother has some real problems and has in a sense "brainwashed" you. (My mother has had real problems in her life and always made my life a living hell.) Sweetie just b.c you are 14 and you got your period doesn't mean that you HAVE to have a baby now, it just simply means that your body is capable of such., but you're brain hasn't caught up. THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME TO HAVE CHILDREN. If you have a child theres getting up every 4 hrs. change, feed, play, the unsoothable crying for hours on end. The diapers, the housing expense, what if they get sick? do you know what the highest temperature a baby can have? Do you know when a baby who can't tell you whats wrong is sick, or, Hungary? I am 21 I got my period in the 5th grade. I was 10. I have no children and am getting married in 4 months and I will have a 4 yr step son FULL TIME! I love him even though he looks like his mother (which whom I can't stand) and he's not even mine. Please think this through I wish no bad luck on you just best wishes!!! This is my e-mail ***@****  Be-careful Renee

[Hangin_in]

Wth he'll is wrong with u repliers! Of course this is real. This woman has a serious problem and laughing at it is not helping!!!! If u realy think she is not tellingcthe truth than just don't post anything, but u don't need to make her look like an idiot!!!!

[lucylocket2]

I will bite my toung and say i am sorry IF this a real problem. You have to understand we get people on here all the time that have stupid questions just to get a fight started. That is why we are being like we are. I have something to say and I hope you listen. I have seen people like your mother on T.V.  While you are on the internet. Look up the 700 club. It is a Christian show. You can call and talk to them. It won't cost you a thing. They will be more than happy to talk to you.There number is on the web site. I had my child at seventeen. I can tell you, it's a hard road to travel. The constant worry of if you are going to be able to feed your baby. That is the worst feeling in the world. Please  let yourself grow up. You are only a child once. Don't rush it.  I know you say your mom will send you money, but I can promise you she won't. If she is the type of woman to tell her baby to have a baby, need's a lot of help herself.

If this is someone trying to upset us. You are a cruel person.

[aisham]

Your mom is wrong.  You really need to get real sexual education.  Honey, do you realize that babies grow up to be adults?  And that everything that the baby needs you need to buy like food and dipers and wipes?  And babies aren't so cute when they are crying frantically at 3am and you have to go to school and take a test.
Women get their periods between age 10 and 14 years old, your mom has brainwashed you to believe something else but its not right.
Ok, even though what you are trying to do is probably the most ignorant thing in this world.  If you are going to do it anyway, it doesn't matter which guy you pick because the guys appearance really does not predict how the baby will come out. And down syndrome means that the child might be mentally disabled.  What if the child is born blind or deaf or who knows? What will you do, will you still love it?

[mslkpage]

If you believe your mother, then why didn't she have a child before 16? And why did her parents make her give it away it it was god's will??


Ahhhhhh!!! Time for a beer. Thank God I'm old enough to drink.

[oceans3]

listen girl. you can stay here even though you are only 14 and need to be 18 to post. you NEED to stay and learn. we can teach you. i asked you where you are from. what state. then lets take it from there. you also sound VERY religious and i cannot help you in that department. it also seems like you had a bit of brainwashing on behalf of good ole mom.
if you were taught... when you get your period, its time to start baby making, i dont know what to say. your mom sounds like she may have some issues. nothing wrong with that...we all have our issues. just trying desperately to understand your lifestyle????? it is VERY different from ours. write back and answer Q's.

[oceans3]

listen girl. you can stay here even though you are only 14 and need to be 18 to post. you NEED to stay and learn. we can teach you. i asked you where you are from. what state. then lets take it from there. you also sound VERY religious and i cannot help you in that department. it also seems like you had a bit of brainwashing on behalf of good ole mom.
if you were taught... when you get your period, its time to start baby making, i dont know what to say. your mom sounds like she may have some issues. nothing wrong with that...we all have our issues. just trying desperately to understand your lifestyle????? it is VERY different from ours. write back and answer Q's.

[kenziesmom]

I don't think you were being called a troll.  That comment was for another poster.  I also don't think anyone is trying to make fun of you.  If you are being serious, you need to 1.  get some help from an adult in person 2.  don't post on here, because you are not 18

[dmjain6]

The only reason that I know all about ovulation and all of that is because my mother grilled it in our heads that when we get r periods it's time to have a baby. She would talk to me about what positions were best for baby making, what time of day and all of that.my school has sex ed but my mom wouldn't sign the paper for me to be in it. She told me that all they would do is tell us a bunch of lies to keep us from gods way for us because the world doesn't see the way things should be. don't worry I see that me asking for help and talking with you has been a big mistake and you all r laughing at me. I will just figure this all out by myself. my sister did it all just fine and so will I. I will leave you all alone. and whoever called me a troll, that was just mean. u don't know me and have no right to call me that. All I'm trying to do is get some advice from woman cause my mom isn't here with me.

[oceans3]

yes, you better go back to yoga tonight...you'll be all stressed out after reading this you know what.

i love "troll patrol" that one is good!!! although she's here to stay. she learned her lesson...lol!! i hear the compassion in her tone. even with the CRAZY posts she's being nice. i am trying, i really am! work with me here....i keep going to write more but i cant. i have to steer clear. i wont be a victim!

[kenziesmom]

I go to work all day, go to my Tuesday night yoga class to get rid of stress and now I am almost piddling in my pants because I can't stop laughing.  I am not a cruel person; heck, I work with special needs' kids for a living- but this is way too entertaining.  "I want to have a baby with my boyfriend, but he is too ugly..."  Are you kidding me?  If this is for real, please get some help.  If this is made up, I am speechless.

[mslkpage]

Hey, I'd rather you have egg on your face than get banned! :) I'll admit, anything is possible, but I just have my doubts.

In the event that you do get snippy again, I'm working on some new possibilities for user names for you.

sailors_ho
sailors_old_lady
troll_patrol
not_before_mywine

That's all I have so far, but I'll keep working on it.

[jgonzales]

I'm 25 years old, and I'm pregnant with my first.. I've been married for four years!

If you get pregnant, can you afford to get diapers, formula, a stroller, carseat, crib, bassinet,, bottles, etc.. the list can go on and on.

alot of girls get there period around 12-14 years old, I've never heard of someone getting there period in there 30's -40's thats insane!!

Try to do the adult way, wait until ur married, you have a steady job, alot of kids in high school want kids.. because they think there grown up.. thats not true.
they're more stupid..lol

Please take our advice;)
we all care for you.. please wait..

if u need to talk, here's my emailL: ***@****

[siren of the sea]

maybe this is one of those that continue (more and more lately) to push our buttons. maybe the same person. ladies when i let open a can of......... i got emails from medhelp that said i did wrong and i could be banned. dont let this person do this to you too. im torn between it being real and it not. i do know that some people REALLY dont know anything, but right this second in my head popped the fact that she knew when ovulation was about to happen and she knows it is what makes a baby! hmmm maybe it is fake. i guess the best thing would be to stop posting to her, i just thought id be nice and try but looks like i have egg on my face.

[oceans3]

okay, you ALL know how difficult this is for me to hold back. i am trying like h***.
*you are 14. need to be 18 to post here.
*where do you live/state??? that may clear up some of this confusion.

you are a baby yourself. why have one? your mentality is he's cute but the other guy is not? get over yourself. guess what? maybe you'll have sex with the cute BOY and your baby will not turn out the way you want it to look. then what will you do? you are so young, what happens if your baby is born with a disability (w. the cute boy of course) then what??? then what will you do?
go get one of those baby dolls you take care of 24/7 (make sure you pick out a really cute one now) and try taking care of that mechanical baby that cries randomly. you wont like it.
this is a total joke post. i need to stop before i say anything more. i will not get kicked off of here because of a teeny teen.
you have a TON of growing up to do and need a ton of sex education. i will pray for you tonight.

[mslkpage]

I don't know guys- almost all schools today have some health & human education. My elementary school didn't have it, but my junior high sure did! Not to mention what I learned from my friends.

I just think this is a troll trying to pull us in. She's trying to tug on our heart strings to keep us involved.

[siren of the sea]

hi im dana. im 35 and i hope you listen to some advice you have recieved today. i understand your mother has probably done the best she can with having many issues. you are in the 8th grade. life is hard enough at your age, and will get harder in your teens. im sorry you feel the need to have a baby right now. its not right. youre still a very young lady. if you were my daughter id would let you know that right now the most important issue in your life should be school, dances, movies, figuring out if red or pink lipgloss looks better. who do you live with? you must have someone you can talk to about this? i know this may seem hard to understand but you also need to consider this boys situation and his familys. do you understand that it will effect him the rest of his life as well? he cannot get a good job without finishing school. and you should finish school - all the way through college- then consider starting a family. get yourself a great paying job, nice car, house, plenty of money for having a child. how will you get a baby to a dr appt if neither of you can drive yet? i want you to go to an adult and discuss this with them. just because we have a period at 10 doesnt mean its time for a baby. i have a few gray hairs since my 20s but im not ready for the grave! feel free to talk with us and ask questions and i know we find it hard to believe this is real, i am going to take a chance. you have a million options for your life, and having a baby at your age is not only dangerous to your health, but could put you in such a devestating place (homeless, resorting to horrible ways to earn money) that i dont want this to happen. good luck and keep us posted.

[socgirl]

ok sweetie....please go to your guidance counselor for advice.  You yourself admit your mom isn't the best person to go to for advice.  And i've never actually heard of someone not getting their periods until 30 or 40 yrs. old.  

Also, is your BF ready to be a father...still sounds like you're deceiving him.  do you want a baby because you feel it would be someone in your life that would love you?  I ask because I am a social worker and alot of my clients who are teens and want babies, that's the most common reason I hear.  They either want a baby because they think it would be so fun and cute to dress up the baby (like they're playing with dolls or something....) or because they want something that will love them.  Both reasons are incredibly selfish reasons.  Please get help and live your life as a 14 yr. old.  Wait until you can legally hold down a job and have an education...i'm sure you'll make an excellent mother someday....but not right now.

[pixijal]

Please realize that women don't start their periods in their 30's or 40's.  We all start the same time you did.  13 or 14 years old is NORMAL.  Because you started your period, doesn't mean that you are emotionally, physically or financially prepared to have a child.  Nobody is at 14.

Yes, if you have sex and get pregnant, you will have a baby...there is nothing about God that will make that happen or not.  It is nature....all kinds of people and animals can procreate....it doesn't mean that Gods will is at stake here.  If your mother has bipolar disorder, and she actually said some of those things....please realize that she is NOT the reliable source of information that you need to rely on right now.  


PLEASE SEE A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR AT SCHOOL AND TALK ABOUT THIS WITH A GROWN ADULT......I strongly urge you to discuss this with a PROFESSIONAL before you take any action on this.  Do you realize that you are fertile and can have children well into your 40's?  Seriously, don't take the long, hard road of raising a child when you are still a child...FINISH SCHOOL, GET YOUR DEGREE IN NURSING....FIND A MAN (not an 8th grader), and then have a child.  You have to think about the future when you have children.....YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT PROVIDE FOR A CHILD RIGHT NOW....Do you think that is fair to your innocent little baby?  NO WAY!!!!!

[asher01]

this is just crazy and please tell me its not someone tryin for attention... noone is that out of their freakin mind... "some ppl get their period when they are 30 or 40, some get theirs when they are 12... that means u are to have a baby" WTF??? am I the only person who thinks thats messed up??

[Alisa W]

Good lord, at least she didn't get her period early like I did.  She would have been trying to have a baby at 10 years old!

[jojo24]

OKAY, I FEEL BAD NOW, BECAUSE IF IT IS REAL, IT'S REAL SAD.  AND THE SADDER PART IS, THERE ARE SO MANY GIRLS OUT THERE THAT REALLY THINK THIS WAY.  IT MAKES ME MAD THAT THERE ARE SO MANY CHILDREN HAVING CHILDREN.  TO ME, THAT IS WHY THERE ARE SO MANY DISRESPECTFUL, UNRULY CHILDREN WHO GET INTO TROUBLE, AND THE CYCLE REPEATS ITSELF. CHILDREN WHO HAVE CHILDREN DON'T KNOW HOW TO DISCIPLINE THEIR CHILDREN AND RAISE THEM WITH THE PROPER VALUES BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT READY FOR IT.  I PROMISE, I AM NOT DIRECTING THIS AT ALL YOUNG MOTHERS.  SOME YOUNG MOTHERS HAVE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB RAISING THEIR CHILDREN.  IT'S JUST THAT IT'S SO COMMON NOW BECAUSE GIRLS ARE UNEDUCATED OR THEY THINK THAT HAVING A BABY IS LIKE HAVING A DOLL CUZ THEY'RE CUTE AND CUDDLY.  BABIES ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS AND THIS GIRL NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT.  IF YOU HAVE THEM BEFORE YOU ARE READY IT'S A STRUGGLE THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH IF YOU HAD JUST BEEN CAREFUL AND PREPARED. I WENT THROUGH THE STAGE OF WANTING A BABY AT A YOUNG AGE, (I WASN'T HAVING SEX BACK THEN) BUT AS TIME PROGRESSED I WONDERED WHAT COULD I GIVE THAT BABY? NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS MY PARENTS (WHO WERE PREPARED) HAVE GIVEN ME.  I WOULD HAVE TO DENY MY CHILD THINGS BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY.  I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TEACH IT CERTAIN THINGS BECAUSE I HADN'T GONE THROUGH ANYTHING YET. I'M 24 NOW AND I WANT A BABY, BUT I HAVE WAY MORE TO GIVE IT NOW, INCLUDING A FATHER WHO IS GOING TO BE THERE WITH ME RAISING IT. I COULDN'T FATHOM HAVING A BABY AT 14.  I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS, JUST FROM BABYSITTING! PLEASE THINK ABOUT HOW CLOSE-MINDED YOU ARE BEING ABOUT THIS.

[dmjain6]

I'm sorry that I was not supposed to write a message on here. I just didn't know where to go. I'm using my friends moms name. WEll my name is actualy Renee, but the dmj one. My friends sister told me about this. I'm sorry if I am going to get her into trouble. I hope not. And my mom did tell me that but I have to admit she isn't the best person to go to. She has been in and out of drug rehab and mental places for 5 years now. She is bi polar. she told me and my older sister that when you get your period that means it's time for you to have a baby. That is why some women don't get theres till they are in there 30s or 40s.That is when thy r supposed to have a baby and some get it when they are 13 like me and that is how god tells them to have a baby. My sister had her baby when she was 15 my mom at 16 but my grandparents made her give that baby to another family. And she swore that her children would never have to do that cause it was meant to be cause we got r periods. Yes I am in school and will stay there and go to college and be a nurse. my mom did that even though she had a baby. she had my sister when she was 17. I no I can do it, but you all are confusing me and I don't know what to do. and both boys are my age. The cute one is in 8th grade and my boyfriend is in 7th grade. he was held back in 4th grade. I'm so confused. please don't kick me off I don't no what to do now.My mom made sure to teach me and my sister all about sex and how to get pregnant and when to do it.she said she is proud of me and will send me money. I don't no now what I'm suposed to do.my sister had her baby and its ok, why is it wrong for me and not her? thats not fare.