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Pregnant and not happy
I've just found out this morning tha I'm pregnant and my initial reaction was to burst in to tears and horror. I do not want another baby. I have a 3 year old and my DD has just turned 1. I am content with my life as it is. i've told my DH, and while I thought he would "tell" me I'm having the baby, he considered my feelings and we'll be talking about it tonight.
I'm about 6 weeks? What happens with a termination? Am I still at the stage where they give me a pill to take?
I'm about 6 weeks? What happens with a termination? Am I still at the stage where they give me a pill to take?
Thank you all. I've made my decision. I was booked in tonight to have a consultation about a termination, but I've cancelled it. My husband and I have talked and I think that if I had a termination then eventually our marriage will fail. And it's not the baby's fault this was accidental or about how I feel.
That's the first time I've called it a baby... I still don't know how I feel. There's been a lot of crying this last few hours. I will still be going to talk so someone about my feelings to get some help though.
That's the first time I've called it a baby... I still don't know how I feel. There's been a lot of crying this last few hours. I will still be going to talk so someone about my feelings to get some help though.
Chel, I wish you the best in your decision making process. I think the idea to talk to someone objective will help.
There are pros and cons to each side of the situation, and only you can make the final decision. Which ever way you decide, be prepared for depression that will almost surely follow. There are good treatments available. Don't wait for it to hit you, get treatment proactively.
Let us know how it goes, but as you know, this site has a lot of women who are TTC and who may have a different frame of mind about the situation. You have every right to post here, as much as they do.
I wish you the best.
There are pros and cons to each side of the situation, and only you can make the final decision. Which ever way you decide, be prepared for depression that will almost surely follow. There are good treatments available. Don't wait for it to hit you, get treatment proactively.
Let us know how it goes, but as you know, this site has a lot of women who are TTC and who may have a different frame of mind about the situation. You have every right to post here, as much as they do.
I wish you the best.
my name liz and its a hard decision to make i may be pregnant 10 late now and my boyfriend want me to have one if it turns out i am as he says hes not ready to be a dad i wish you all the luck liz
Thank you all for your advice. I know that this is ultimately a decision that can only be made by me and my husband, but it is also comforting to hear other opinions and sides of the story.
I have been through all the possible scenarios, and I am very worried about what my state of mind would be like afterwards. I do worry that if i do carry on then maybe I would resent my husband (because he's in 2 minds about the whole thing) and then would resent the baby. I worry that I would get depression while pregnant, and then what would happen if an already depressed new mum gets severe PND on top of that? My PND was bad with my first, worse with my second with suicidal thoughts, but never any intentions. What would happen this time?
But above all, I do not feel one bit happy since I found out. I think I really do need to speak with someone and will make an appointment to, whatever happens. I still feel very confused and won't be making a decision in this frame of mind.
I have been through all the possible scenarios, and I am very worried about what my state of mind would be like afterwards. I do worry that if i do carry on then maybe I would resent my husband (because he's in 2 minds about the whole thing) and then would resent the baby. I worry that I would get depression while pregnant, and then what would happen if an already depressed new mum gets severe PND on top of that? My PND was bad with my first, worse with my second with suicidal thoughts, but never any intentions. What would happen this time?
But above all, I do not feel one bit happy since I found out. I think I really do need to speak with someone and will make an appointment to, whatever happens. I still feel very confused and won't be making a decision in this frame of mind.
Hi hon. I hope you don't let other people's opinions and judgements sway what you think is best for you and your family. I myself, do find it hard to hear that- only because my boyfriend and I want a child badly and have been trying for months and just can't seem to make it happen. However, I am also an adopted child- so I do know what it feels like to be on the other end. I'd say if you feel that strongly that it will ruin your life, listen to your heart. I would hate to think you'd feel pressured or guilted into having a child you didn't want- and perhaps resenting the child later. However, if you are worried about depression and or family issues. Talking to a therapist or your dr can really help. There is possibly some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Such as clinical depression. Either way, don't allow someone to make you feel guilty for doing what's best for you. Good luck hon.
I've had 4 children and I love them very much but I've had a termination and the experience wasn't a bad one, you wake up and it's all over. Counseling is available for you too. At 6 weeks you'd need a D &C , which takes about 5 -10 minutes under anesthetic. This is you and your husband's decision, no one else's. Posting in a worldwide forum will get you all sorts of judgmental responses. I believe in abortion but that's my view, many people don't and it's a debate no one can win. Here is an Australian website with FAQ that might help you. Good Luck with your decision. www.gcaus.com.au/terminations_faq.php
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