Hello, I'm joining and new to the site but I've never really been in a online group really, so this is new. I've been disnosed with Bipolar II and BPD, but I'm trying to turn things around. I've been married a year and in that the most I have accomplished was to get on medication and stop cutting. I started at 15 and at age 25, that's not an easy thing to do. Between the two disorders, my self image is in shambles and my moods are unpredictable, shifting throughout the course of the day. Some days are worse than others. I've educated myself as much as possible, have a few coping skills and always try to over compensate by helping others. Trying to save as many as possible I guess even though I avoid my own reflection. If anyone has any advice or wants to be friends, I'd welcome it.
Welcome to the site. You should be proud of yourself for what you did accomplish because getting help and realizing you need it has to be the biggest obstacle there is. I've been diagnosed with bipolar II, ptsd, and anxiety with panic disorder which was 7 years ago but until last year kept going off meds because I started feeling better or the meds made me feel groggy and drugged and I felt like I couldn't function which ultimately didn't help me at all considering in those 7 years alone I had 6 serious suicide attempts that I ended up in ICU for and then in a behavioral unit until my moods evened out and meds started helping me. Also stopping cutting is a HUGE thing! Too many people never stop that. Do you have a good support system to help you? (therapist, family, friends, your husband) I understand having a bad self image, that's kind of the depression part of it but you have to try to tell yourself that people do actually care deeply about you, your husband wouldn't have married you if he didn't. I also understand about the helping others thing because I'm guilty of doing the same thing-probably more than others considering I have worked in the medical field for ten years now-it's easier to suggest things and do things to help others because you feel no one should suffer and at the same time lack the motivation to put in the work to help yourself because of low self esteem or feeling like you don't deserve it or feel like you plain out can't be helped because you feel nothing will work. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone and what you've accomplished already is no little thing. Good luck to you too.
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