How do ask my derm to be more thorough? Ive read thy should be exam genital/anus

[whatevertt]

White, Male, 55, I used to go to Caribbean 3 times a year for 10 year period, so I've had a lot of sun and sunburns.  Plus, in college, used to float down river half the days of the summer in a tube with baby oil on back in the '80's.  My dad and sister have had some moles/growths removed, and yet, I have escaped being diagnosed with anything (so far) but I go to dermatologist annually.  I recently switched dermatologists because the one I was going to wasn't very thorough.  She'd spend less than 10 minutes total on me, never used a magnifier, never examined beneath my underwear, rarely looked at my feet.  My dad had a growth removed from his ear, my sister had a growth removed from her shoulder and foot, both were .. I don't recall, but not totally benign.  So I'm concerned. So, got a referral from a friend/cousin for another dermatologist, she's much more thorough, and sometimes even has an intern or resident look me over as well.  (the more, the merrier/better!  I'd rather be embarrassed than have skin cancer).  Well, I've read articles that indicate that dermatologists often overlook/don't examine a patient's butts and genitals, for fear of making them uncomfortable and that they should really be looking everywhere, regardless of whether the sun is ever exposed to that skin.  A couple articles have indicated that dermatologists ought to be spreading your cheeks and looking at your anus!  So... here's my question - how do I ask my doctor to be "that" thorough without sounding like a pervert?  I'm serious.  I'm 50's and she's a beautiful 30-something and always has an attractive associate with her, they look all over me at my ears, nose, back, legs, feet, arms, but only sort of glance at my genitals and have looked at my butt (they're following, and have taken pics of a mole on my right cheek!) but they have never spread my cheeks and looked at my anus and they've never really looked closely at my genitals like they have (with the magnifying thing) for my ears and other parts.  I actually have a spot on the head of my penis that I worry about, it's very faint, and not very noticeable.  Every time, I think I'll say something but I don't.  I know I should.  I'd rather be embarrassed and feel awkward than not catch early diagnosis, but won't it seem weird if I ask, literally ask to have my genitals and anus examined?  Seriously, how do I bring that up?

[purple1234567]

You mentioned you read an article about it- I'd just bring the article with you and ask if she felt that it was really necessary and inquire why it wasn't common practice.  Just be honest and let her know you are concerned about skin cancer due to the history (which, I imagine you have shared already) and that you just want to make sure that you are taking every possible measure to catch anything that could cause an issue.  

[Lamshez]

Hi can you please tell
Me wot you think abt my question plesse

[inaun]

I don't have an answer, but just to +1 so you know you are not along -- I have the same issue. I have a history of skin cancer. Once it was missed during Covid because the doctor glossed over my face during the couple seconds of "remove your mask and hold your breath". That resulted in mohs surgery much worse than it should have been if issue had been caught sooner.  I have a mole in my gentile area that I have to specifically mention before they will examine. My last dermatologist just had me pull my underwear aside enough to see the mole instead of actually having me remove underwear.

I've only had one dermatologist actually perform a proper examination of my anus and genitals. Unfortunately, that doctor closed the office during Covid and has not re-opened.

I'm finding the same issue with regular doctors as well. For some reason it seems like most doctors no longer want to perform examinations of intimate areas. Are there so many people who are uncomfortable letting the doctor do their jobs that the medical profession has shifted? It has to be something. I'm looking for a new General Practitioner. In my last physical exam, I happened to get a female doctor. I've had some issues with pain in my groin, which I mentioned to her. She asked if I had noticed any lumps, but did not examine me! Nor did she even do the normal "take your shirt off, check various lymph nodes, ect...whatever the doctors used to be checking for. There was certainly no potential for disrobing discomfort, but I sure walked out of there thinking I had totally wasted my time and could be dying for all she knows from her cursory examination.

Totally get you. I want to ask the doctor to be more thorough, and have even let the doctor know I'm not worried about being uncovered but very worried about missing something and not treating early. But I don't know how to specifically say "please examine this are and that area" without feeling like a pervert. I just want thorough medical care, and it's much more embarrassing to have to ask for it than to have it done!