Emitophobia

[CassCore]

Ever since I was a little girl I have been afraid of throwing up. There is nothing that I can remeber that caused the fear, except maybe one time when my dad had some gastrointestinal virus and I had it too. I was sick all night and it was the most horrible thing ever, so I'm not sure if that triggered the fear or not. I have been sick since then, the last time being my junior year of high school. I am now a Jr. in college.

Anyway...my senior year of high school the fear got particularly bad. I was nervous about leaving for college and I was always very busy and stressed, but I had always coped well. Around Christmas time, I went to my family doctor complaining of chronic stomach pain that was nagging throughout the day and worse at night. I would wake up or not be able to fall asleep because of the pain and nausea. I ate antacids like they were candy and drank Sprite like it was from the fountain of youth. I would have bouts of dirrahea, sometimes my poop would be green, sometimes it would be black, sometimes it would be yellow. I ended up going to a gastrointerologist who perscribed me Nexium for acid reflux and told me I had IBS. I had stopped eating meals altogether because every time I ate I was nauseated. The nausea started to cause me to have panic attacks, which I was perscribed Zoloft for. These panic attacks would happen right in the middle of class, and I would leave school- go home and sit in my bath tub. At night I would walk my 17-18 year old self into my parents bedroom cry, have a panic attack, and sleep on their floor all night at least once or twice a week. For close to 4 months I did not go a day without horrible stomach pain. For about 4 months I did not eat anything but bananas, toast, applesauce, saltines, and occasionally a turkey and bread or peanut butter and banana only sandwhich. I drank Ensure because my hair and nails started to become brittle. I wanted more than anything to eat, I was just so afraid I was going to throw up. It consumed my every thought. I woke up and it was the first thing that crossed my mind. I went to bed scared to death I would wake up in the middle of the night sick, which typically caused me not to sleep in the first place. I was tired and cranky. I didn't go out with my friends, I would sit home and cry or sit in the bathtub because it seemed to comfort me. As time went on I think I started to realize I was only making myself sick. Every stomach growl, every weird feeling, every time I went to the bathroom I analyzed everything. I had a scoring system based on times I'd been sick before. If I started to feel bad around 9 PM that was bad because that was the time I started to feel bad the last time I had been sick. If it progressivly got worse by 11 PM that was worse because I vomitted the last time around 11 PM. If I had solid poop that day my chances of getting sick were not as good, if I had diarrehea my chances of getting sick that day were good. There were more of these rules that I had made up. I did start to get better slowly but surely. I started eating much more regularly, and the fears I had seemed to consume me less and less, but never totally left me.

However, now in my junior year of college I am starting to have the same issues. I sleep hardly at all because of pain and fear. I have panic attacks even though I'm still on the Zoloft. I skip meals and eat bland things. I sleep on the floor and take really long showers to try and comfort myself. I have tried to stay clear of antacids unless it's really bad. I stay in the dorm on the weekends because I'm afraid I'm sick or I'll catch something from someone. I get paranoid about washing my hands to the point they crack and bleed. I have developed a circulation problem on the skin on my stomach because I use a heating pad to ease the cramping I get in my sides and intestines. The fear has started to consume my thoughts all the time again...I sought consuling last semester and it seemed to help just a little, but not significantly. I am A MESS!!!

Does anyone else relate even kind of to this? Does anyone have any suggestions?? ANYTHING would be wonderful. Thank you!


This discussion is related to ANYONE ELSE EMITOPHOBIC?.

[Morecambe]

Hi - reading your story makes me wonder whether you are trying to cure what originated as a psychological problem/fear with "physical medicine"??

The whole episode seems to have started with a fear of vomiting which has subsequently dominated your life and behaviour.

Although your initial reaction may be to dismiss psychological/psychiatric treatment, I wonder whether, in fact, this is where the solution might lie?  

You might want to look into the symptom of "obsessive compulsive disorder" (OCD).  Perhaps you can find some description and also "self questions" to ask yourself as a basis for whether you think that your condition may indeed be positively influenced by seeking treatment for this subject.

Good luck

Morecambe

[veggiemama17]

I too have emitophobia, which I have had since I was a young child. I did not have panic attacks until recently though. I am 28 now, and during my last pregnancy, I felt like I was going to vomit all day every day, and it did not get better after I delivered my baby. I was told by doctors that it was acid reflux, and then I even had my gallbladder removed because they ran tests that showed that might be the problem. The symptoms were still there, and that is when I realized my symptoms were panik attacks. Once I realized that is what was going on, I was able to treat myself. I am not a big believer in traditional medicine for many reasons, but the most recent of these reasons is how I was treated during this whole ordeal. I lost an organ that turned out to be perfectly healthy. I started to tweak the nutritional supplements I was taking, and I started using homeopathy. I am happy to say that I am doing much better now. I still have some bad days, but I know when I need to take more of a specific supplement, and that usually does the trick. My youngest is now almost 3, and for the last year I have felt better than I have in years. My emitophobia is not as severe now, and I can actually understand that it is the emitophobia that is causing me to feel sick if someone else I know has the flu. I think once you actually realize that you have the problem, it is much easier to start on the path to getting it under control.

The supplements that really helped me are lechithin, omega 3's, a good b-complex and multi-mineral/vitamin, mood lift complex, stress relief complex, and I also took sulpher an lycopoteum which are both homeopathic. I had gone to a homeopathy website which has a questionair to fill out with every possible symptom you can imagine, and then it will give you the best homeopathic match for your symptoms. I also started on oil of oregano, which also helps with stomach upset. All my supplements are from ******* and are available at www.*******.net/behrends . I use their products, because they put millions of dollars into product purity & potency testing, and they have a 100% money back guarantee, so even if you use the whole bottle, if you feel it didn't work for you, you can get your money back. ******* also offers some soy protein and meal replacement shakes that are very good. The homeopathic products and the oil of oregano I got at my local health food store.