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ADD / ADHD Community
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Avatar universal

Adult with ADHD

I hate to tell everyone but my son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 10 and he's now 35 and is actually worse than ever.  We had him on ritalin at age 10-12 and he refused to take it so hasn't been on anything since.

He CANNOT sit still, is a very loud obnoxious person, argues a lot, has lots of stomach aches and headaches.  I think he's allergic to milk and loves sweets which isn't good.  So there's my/his problem  At 35 and in this very argumentative state all the time, I cannot control him or his eating.

So, please, do something when you can and help your children when you are still in control. My son cannot hold a job, doesn't even want to work, wants to sleep all day or sit in a bar all day.  He gets lots of exercise but that doesn't help completely.  He walks a lot everyday but it's usually around 6 miles round trip to the bar.

If anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears..  He's back at home and doesn't really fit into our retirement plans but when you become a parent, you're a parent all your life.  If I could find out how to make him want to help himself, that would be a big help and great start.  

thanks,
Kat
4 Responses
765070 tn?1384869794
It really sounds like he may actually have more than just ADHD.  It sounds to me like he is an alcoholic.  I am so sorry to say that.  I am familiar with this since my biological Grandfather was one.  He was exactly like this and very argumentive.  He really needs help from therapist or psychologist.  Is their anyway that you can get him to some therapy without him knowing where you are going.  With ADD/ADHD, symptoms tend to get better when you get older, but of course not for everyone.  I have ADD and am 34 years old.  It is tough even on meds.  I am an argumentative person but have definitely learned to control it.  I had to see a therapist to understand that I am the one that needs to be in control of what I do.  

You may need to step in and send him to a institution.  I know that this sounds harsh but it is send him for help or he will either hurt himself/someone else or end up in jail.  And, I would hate to see that happen.  He sounds like he may be bipolar along with ADHD.  That is not an unusual combination.  It may be time for you and your husband to look into some time of institution, even if for a short time, just to have someone else monitor him to see what the problem is.  It is a tough step to take but as a mother, we do things to protect our children no matter how old they are.  

I really hope that this helps!  Good luck and keep me updated.  God Bless and your son and family are in my prayers.  
944643 tn?1418214422
Thank you for sharing this with us. My son is 4 and ADHD. He is very hard to control, but my feeling about medication for him is very mixed (his doctor or therapist won't put him on anything now, anyway).  I am ADD and take Adderall, but I try to find more natural methods to control my son's. He does, however, go to a behavior therapist, as well as speech therapy (for his language delays). Your son's mood outbursts are part of ADHD, but I've never heard of the uncontrolable eating associated with ADD/ADHD. Maybe I'm completely ignorant about it, but I'd say he might have some other issue...maybe bipolar or something?
Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments.  I may have exaggerated a little as he doesn't go to the bar everyday.  Only when he's down and blue and needs to socialize and have friends around him.  He's had lots of failures in his life and they seem to just mount up.

We have contacted the GoodWill Industries for help.  They have training, education, job placement, you get a caseworker, workshops, financial help and so much more.  We've contacted them to make an appointment and hopefully, we're on the right track.  It could be a good fresh start.  They even do a medical evaluation and basically help you start over.

I can keep you posted on what we find out and if they think they can help him.  He is willing to go check it all out.

thanks,
kat7914
765070 tn?1384869794
I am happy to hear that it is definitely an occasional night out with the guys rather than a real problem.  

That is definitely a great start for him and I really hope that it all works out.  Please definitely keep me posted as to how he is doing and if he would like to talk to me directly feel free to have him PM me.  I would be happy to answer his questions regarding an Adult having ADD/ADHD.  I have been dealing with this my whole life and it is very difficult but definitely easier when their are others that understand how you are feeling and can relate.  

God Bless you and your family and I will keep you all in my prayers.  
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