Is ADD or ODD selective?

[Richard_32]

Alright, I do not want to go into too many détails, because I have about a three year battle and I would DEFINATELY need to sit with several hours with a Neurologist or an Child Behavior specialist in order to assuage all my questions. So in a nutshell;
My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, medium level (I don't know the terminology in English, I'm French, so bear with me). I do not agree with the diagnostic. She has recently been evaluated by two specialists which have confirmed it and identified possible Spectrum of Austism as well. I also do not agree with this. The reasons for this disagreement and this is an issue which I have at lenght discussed with different social workers, is not because, as I have been pegged, I refuse to recognize my daughter (6) has a problem, but because none of the symptoms of either Autism, ADHD or ODD manifest themselves with me. I have her a weekend out of two and two weeks vacation a year. I am a person who, when he was younger, ALSO was told he would have Learning disabilities, but who turned out to be superior in intelligence to the majority of people, as well as my sister (this is NOT bragging, but statement of fact for context. I actually hate mentioning it). I have many minor quirks and a different way of thinking and problem solving which is considered unorthodox but highly efficient in my field of study.

My daughter, in very little différences, behaves and has the exact same problems as I did when I was a child, which I do not have anymore. She is at her fourth type of medication (Bifantin) and it has recently stopped working, according to her mother. What irks me and worries me much is that her mother, please forgive me, is a hyppocondriaque who has always thought that drugs solve everything (she used to mention that her most experience was being high on morphine). This caused our seperation, but I am afraid her attitude and her pushing for this is not a result of my daughter, whose troubles in school were few in the beginning of this but have started increasing, being actually either ODD or ADHD, but her mother pushing to get medication because SHE believes it's the only way to proceed instead of taking her time to teach her as I was taught when I was younger.
The closest way I can think of saying this is a placebo effect from mother to her daughter and I fear not have been taken seriously by the medical authorities here.

My question being; ARE neurologist able to differentiate this or does it not fall into the equation? I fear more harm than good is being accomplished in this whole situation (I would never have thought to have a discussion at such a Young age with my daughter about suicide because she said she thought about it, but I did and it was very disturbing). Also, why does none of the aggression, the confusion, the ignoring of orders, NEVER happen when she is with me even for prolonged periods of time, without medication (I do not give her when I have her over, her mother gives her all the time, but as stated, I have VERY big druthers about the truthfulness of this situation). Her mother had one son with another mom who IS autistic, is it possible she is projecting what she thinks on our daughter? My daughter has stated to me she does not enjoy taking those pills, also does not believe she is different and tries to concentrate in school, but she doesn't want to because she just doesn't care.....I have a bad feeling about this entire situation and feel incredibly powerless, as well as utterly ignored for my concerns...I'm by no means an expert, but having taken psychology classes for 4 years have given me some measure of insight into people and from seing interactions from the different participants I have met, I see one aggressive mother, very terrified school teachers afraid for some reason I'd try to sue them and doctors who are trying to look confident but come up with more questions than answers, who stay evasive.

Also, no one can answer me if there is a long term risk of damage to my daughter because of all this medication she has taken. I mentioned britlle bones which I know is one of them and I keep getting it downplayed, which slightly annoys me because if it's a risk, I'd like to honestly know how much of a risk it is. I don't want to be cajoled or comforted, I want the truth, because no doctor will have to live with the conséquences on the life of my daughter; I will and it's my responsibility to make sure she becomes the best human being she can. I do not feel at all like this is happening right now...

Thank you,

Richard.

[Sandman2]

   It is obvious that you care enough to write a very long letter.  The question is do you care enough to find out more about ADHD or Inattentive ADHD.  These two links should help you:
     http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/170/slide-1.html
     http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/11875.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=may

      The doctors helping her have very set rules to follow to diagnose ADHD.  This is a very long document but will answer some of your more technical questions.  It is the European consensus statement on diagnosis and treatment of adult ADHD.   While it is for adults, it also covers children.  I would look at it last as it is very long.
    The link is http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2942810/
     Brittle bones is not a side effect of stim meds - don't know where you got that idea.  Here is a good link on Biphentin - http://addadhdblog.com/biphentin-the-newest-addadhd-medication-in-canada/?doing_wp_cron=1464395779.2366199493408203125000
    Chances are she still has not found the correct dose of the medication to help her.  It really is a trial and error kind of thing as all people react in different ways.  Being a methylphenidate, it is essentially weaker then the Adderall based meds.
   One thing to think about.  You have never given her the meds and watched her react to them.   A normal child given this medication would go straight up the wall all day long.   This, of course, is not a full proof sign that she does have ADD, but it is something to think about.
    Finally, you can not say that what worked for you will work for her.  You are not the same.  And, by the way, strong intelligence is fairly normal for those with ADHD.  Some learn to cope and many do not and pay for it in later years.
     I can give you many more resources if you want them.  Thanks for asking such a good question!