Thankyou for answering my post you are the first. Do you find it to be difficult living with adult add? I do people dont seem to understand that you dont grow out of adhd you just try to find new ways of living with it. if you have any advise i would greatly appreciate it. thanx
Hey frustrated, I have seen lots of posts during the last year or so on this forum forum from people with adult ADHD. Many of them were from seriously frustrated people. Do a search for "adult ADHD" in the search box and then tell it to show you all posts. While many of these people may no longer be online, I think you will find it nice to know that you are not the only one out there facing these problems.
Yes it's frustrating but I have also seen tremendous improvements in my ability to control it in the 3 years since I was diagnosed. I think the 4 things that I have found most helpful are:
1) SELf_EDUCATION - my favorite books by far are called Driven to Distration and Delivered From Distraction. They are written by a doc who has ADD and are even written in sections. When I get frustrated with myself I read his books and it reminds me that a lot of my struggles are the ADD - it also helps me remember the things that I can do to help myself
2) OMEGA-THREE SUPPLEMENTS - the second book, Delivered from Distraction, suggests omega-3 supplements - I feel better when I take them
3) MEDS - I really responded with Adderall - I am now having some heart rate fluctuation so may have to go off meds but Adderall was a lifesaver for me
4) DIALECTICAL BEHAVIORAL THERAPY (DBT) - the most helpful thing I have done, hands down, was to join a DBT group. DBT was designed to help people with more serious mental health diagnoses understand and live with their diagnosis. You meet once a week with a group of people and every week you learn a skill. Then in the week that follows, you try the skill and keep track of how you do. Then you share how you did at the beginning of the next group and listen to everyone else. It gave me perspective, helping me to see that I am not alone. And it helped me to learn skills that have allowed me to do a better job of calming myself, managing my impulsivity, etc. I cannot say enough about how much DBT helped me. There were a lot of other diagnoses in my group but also 3 or 4 people with ADD alone.
Another thought - I read your post again and you say that people don't understand. I have two additional suggestions on that (and here I'm being ADD - not saying it all the first time!)....
1) DBT says that we can't control other people - only ourselves - and helps a person decide how to interact with others - it helps you think about whether a person will understand or hear you and if not, helps you not say anything. They also talk about "marvins" - marvins are people who just aren't going to get it, because of how they think. You soon realize that everyone has a marvin and learn to laugh at that person instead of getting angry or hurt by them.
2) The Delivered from Distraction book is also good with relationships - it says to get people out of your life who are critical or spend as little time with them as you can and suggests you seek out people who are more understanding.
Hi, I've been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 6 years old. I'm not 37 years old with a ADHD as well (she's 12). I've been trying to find a group to attend in Montgomery, AL. By any chance is this were you're group is located?
I have adult ADD. It does get frustrating. I think it creates problems communicating with people that don't have it. Mostly because I often struggle with keeping in mind that others usually don't mentally move as fast as I do. Also I tend to shift so rapidly that I don't manage to complete whole thoughts.
Then there is what others often perceive as randomness. I even have a friend who nicknamed me "Queen Random" because they can't "follow the bouncy ball" as they put it.
Personally, I take Stratterra. I can't take amphetamines for various reasons so Stratterra has been relatively effective. I am currently looking for more skill based control. DBT has helped. I will be looking into the book you mentioned, Driven to Distraction.
Just a really quick note. I've read all the books on ADHD..... and thought I've read it all- but there is a great BRAND NEW BOOk by Dr. Ari Tuckman: More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD. Well worth the purchase price on Amazon.
I am 24 and diagnosed with Adult ADHD and Bi-Polarity when I was 20. The hardest part of living with both of these diseases for me is not the social stigma; rather, my personal pride was deeply wounded by both diagnoses.
I suppose I am an extremely prideful person and with my diagnosis at a young age, everything came tumbling down. Dreams, goals, aspirations all seemed to fall out of sight because of something beyond my control that limited me to medicine for the rest of my life. This was one of those "grieving" stages they say accompanies the onset of any medical condition.
Of course, my thinking has really adjusted now and I love who I am. I also began to realize how much better I feel on my Adderall & Lamictal as opposed to without. A large source of frustration in college was losing the ability to focus and articulate clearly. Adderall really allows me to communicate effectively and study.
My hardest moment when a friend said that both of my conditions were purely mental and therefore surmountable. He believed that only lazy people clung to ADD/ADHD as a means to justify their laziness. Needless to say, we are not friends anymore. That one went really deeply especially because of my pride issue. People don't understand what it is like to read a paragraph four times and still have no idea what the hell is going on.
You'll find that the people who really matter are the ones who accept or even share your problem. One of my roommates is also ADHD and we basically have our own secret language. We speak fast, make crazy reference jokes, and can easily follow each other's thought process. All in all, he's the best roomie ever and we really enjoy spending time together. Hope you can find some people like that too!
I am 26 and was just diagnosed with Adult ADHD. I have been on both Adderall and Dexedrine which is Dextroamphetamine. For me, while the Adderall worked well, it had to many negative side effects, dry mouth, no eating, and pressure on chest. Since switching to Dextroamphetamine, the side effects are gone and the ADHD are completley under control. My doc, also said that I had some depression mixed in with my ADHD, but the meds knocked out both and I couldn't feel better. Each person is different though, and what works for one migiht not work for you, ask your doc and bring up the medication topic and see where it goes. Most Dr.'s are willing to listen to this and help, but usually only Psychiatrists or Specialists will or can presrcibe these stimulants. Most primary docs or family docs either wont or cant presrcibe such drugs for this as they are not trained to diagnose it properly.
I'm a little but older than you (51) but I also was finally diagnosed with ADD and started taking Adderall but am wondering how long it took for the positive results to occur? I can live with the negative effects right now if I can expect to eventually be able to finish things I start instead of having 100 piles of started tasks on my desk, not be as distractable and comprehend what I read without so much frustration? I just started 5 days ago. Am I being impatient? For so many years I considered myself stupid. I'm so glad that you've been diagnosed now and not have to feel that way as long as I did.
Looks like I also need to visit Amazon.com to buy a couple of books. I just hope I can get out of there with only buying the 2!
I've never heard of DBT either. Sounds like something that we all might benefit from.
just wondering if anyone else knew something was wrong before diagnosis...i've been diagnosed with everything from depr. anx. bipolar, manic depr...but a week ago finally one that made sense and explained a very difficult childhood...adhd! What a relief for me to know i'm not crazy!
Hi there. I just want to say that you speak to something that I have read much about. A child that has add/adhd (my boy has sensory integration disorder, its cousin) never feels 'right in their own skin'. They feel different from others. They struggle and these struggles are well and they basically just end up coping to get by. This is one of the biggest reasons that I feel diagnosing our children accurately is so important. Not just because of the pressure to 'do well' but because by addressing the root issue, the child will FEEL better.
This was the case with my son. He is so much better off by our having been proactive in diagnosing him and getting early intervention. He is a happy child now and wasn't earlier on.
So, I'm glad that you have found the "answer". good luck in your journey
Hey Jenny, I am sure that you are not alone. Judging from your posted age - you went through the elementary school system in the late 70's. They really didn't have much of a clue then what was going on. And if the child was not a hyperactive boy - then it would have been a very slim chance that a teacher would have noticed it. In fact, I can remember a 6th grader I had about '73 or so that was highly hyperactive. No one had a clue as to what was going on. Fortunately, he was a sweet kid and we got along great.
Point being, is that if the elementary school teachers didn't notice the problem - well, that probably was your best chance.
And yes, I have seen numerous posts on this forum over the last 5 years from adults who feel exactly the same way you do.
Your experience is important. How you coped. What you are doing now to cope can help others. Hopefully, you will hang around and share that with us. You might also want to check out this adult ADHD site for others who have had similar experiences. http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors. But please come back and share. Best wishes.
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