worrying behavior in 6 year old son

[dane6]

Our son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 4, he is 6 now.His previous doctor told us unless we were going to medicate him there was no need to bring him back! He wanted to put our son on Lexapro & Risperdal. We did not want to jump right to medication. so we told him good bye.

Well now he is in Kindergarden and the teaches say he his attention span is holding him back from keeping up with the class.And he got in school suspension for some bad behavior.

Whats even more trouble is his recent behavior, i dont want to go into details but it is very troubling....he seems to show no remorse for his actions or empathy for people. When he has done something wrong he never apologies but will when TOLD to..never on his own and he never means it. i will say that when he is mad at us he says things like, "i wish you were dead"..he is EXTREMLY impulsive. he does not seem to understand actions have consequences and has absolutely no fear. a few weeks ago he jumped on my husbands bumper as he was leaving the drive way!!!

Our other 3 children were never like this...i feel like we are in over our heads with him...We do believe in spanking. However Spanking him when he has disobeyed, does nothing....he gets MADDER, and sometimes laughs.Our 3 other children know when mom and dad mean business with just a look..lol..and rarely need a spanking now that they are older.

he has his yearly visit with the neurologist next month and im worried they will want to put him on medication, which i know is probably inevitable with his recent behaviors, but i was wondering if there was anything natural we could try....i really hate to see him falling behind in school and having such bad thoughts and behaviors.
any help would be greatly appreciated!

[amclarty]

Have you done any research on ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)? It might be worth researching or asking a doctor about this disorder.

[Sandman2]

    Recent and very good post by specialmom on SID and activities to help.
  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/6-year-old-has-no-friends/show/1523553#post_6921065

[Sandman2]

      Oh, yes, he is certainly much more involved than I thought.
Still find it hard to believe that a psychiatrist would make those statements.  Just wanted to add that over on the child behavior forum is a member who posts a lot about SID.  Since her son also has the problem she is very knowledgeable about it.  Her son at about age 4 or 5 had many problems, but a very strong regime of activities for SID made a huge difference.  A lot of the activities she also did at home.  Anyway, here is a sample post by her -
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/Temper-Tantrums-at-School/show/1505006#post_6862165
    You might want to message her or post over on the child behavior forum under a
"SID Help!"  heading.  Pretty sure she will see it and get back to you.  There is some amazing stuff that can be done using the SID techniques for a kid.  
    Hope this helps - by the way if you have trouble getting in touch with her - we communicate a lot and I can always ask her to help out.

[dane6]

this was a psychiatrist we took him to.who told us....his words exactly "there is no need to bring him back unless you are going to medicate" we were shocked! he had only seen him 2 times before this comment.
Our son has been seen by neurodevelopmental doctors,neurologists,gastro-intestinal doctors,homeopathic docotrs, he has had countless blood tests, upper gi, endoscopy with biopsy, swallow study....at 13 months he started receiving speech and OT therapy. he was very delayed at all the major milestones..
We have heard everything from Williams syndrome(ruled out) Sensory Processing Disorder, Possilbe Aspergers, and ADHD...right now the "psychiatrist" we took him to diagnosed him with ADHD and PDD-NOS and Sensory Processing Disorder.

we have been told that he is a mystery and hard to figure out.

we are not totally against meds...we just dont want to jump to them either.

thanks so much for all the great info! i will defiantly be looking into all of it!

[Sandman2]

   Good golly, (to put it mildly) what kind of doctor or information have you been getting.  Lexapro is used to treat anxiety in adults and major depressive disorder in adults and adolescents who are at least 12 years old.  Risperidone is used to treat schizophrenia (including adolescent schizophrenia).  Neither of these are approved for 4 year old children.  What kind of a doctor prescribed this?  
   The second question is what did you do after the diagnosis - not taking the recommended meds was a great idea - but did the doctor give you ( or did you research) any information on ADHD?
    If you had taken the time or gotten the correct information, you would have found out for example that spanking does not work with an ADHD child.  You will get exactly the results you got.  In fact all of the things you have mentioned are very classic ADHD symptoms.  Is any thing being done to address those problems?
   There is nothing wrong with a good diet.  .  Getting rid of some food dyes could help.  Good healthy eating habits are always important.  But you will not get the results you seek by going to a natural diet.
   He is seeing a neurologist soon.  A yearly visit is a waste of time.  He needs to see a pediatric psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD who not only can help him, but also give you information that you can use to help him.   Just being curious, what did the neurologist say on his visit a year ago?
   You really need information on ADHD (if this is what he has).  I highly recommend the book,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   Not only will it give you ways to work with him at home, but it will cover things that a school can do to help him (like a 504 or an IEP plan).
         For a web site with a ton of information, try -      http://www.pediatricneurology.com/adhd.htm
         I also should add, that medication is not the big, bad thing that some people claim - if it is done correctly and IF other things are done with it.  Where it goes wrong is when the parent/doctor puts a child on it and then ignores the child.  It takes time to get the meds correct.  Once the meds are working, there is still a ton of things that can be done to help the child (many are in the book I recommended).  Once the child starts getting more mature and in control of themselves, its possible the meds can be eliminated if the proper groundwork has be taken to show the child what ADHD is and how to live with/work with it.
         If you have any other questions, please post.  I am just sorry that the medical profession has left you so under informed.  Best wishes!