expected behavior of a 4 year 3 month old boy

[cindy33]

It was brought to my attention by my son's pre-school teacher that  he's showing signs, "red flags" of either ADD or ADHD.  He does stop doing projects when "he" feels he's finished.  He listens well, how ever there are times he needs to be spoken to on more than one occasion when he's not acting "appropriately".  He some times seems to block mom, the teacher, or the day care provider out when he is doing something.  But usually when somethings are asked of him he responds well.  Colors well, loves to listen to stories and is able to sit through the whole story at home however the teacher says he has a hard time during circle time.  I'm wondering if he should be evaluated (which I have set a date with his doctor for this), or if he is just acting this way because he is still a little young for school where as he turned 4 in October and this is "normal" behavior.  he isn't overly hyper, does get excited on occasion but can calm down on his own when necessary.  Please could you give me (his mom) some insight as to what is "expected" behavior of a boy at this age.  Should I be concerned that he may have ADD/ADHA when there is no history of this disorder in the family.??   Thank You.    
                                                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                                              A concerned mom

[therese83]

I am a teacher and mother of four.

I would first think that he is a very bright boy!  With a strong personality.  My son found it very hard to put up with certain adults.  He learned as he got older, but not everyone is a people pleaser :-)

These characteristics that he is dipsplaying might be his strong point in life.  Like we alll need to get excited on occasion and it can be a leadership skill.

School is not always suitable for all children, often the ones who are very creative or who will be successful in the future.  Like how many scuccessful men got there by doing what they were told?
I realise this doesnt help you, but I think that it helps to see the bigger picture and I wish you the best with this interesting little boy.

[LetaB]

  Over all would you say that he is successful at school or has his behavior come to be a real problem? Just because he has ADHD doesn't mean he needs any further treatment depending on how it affects him. I have four children all diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and though my sons required medication at different times my daughter never took any and excelled. She was distracted, dreamy, and has trouble socially for a few years but she accelled academically. If it's an option take your son out of school and homeschool or try enrolling him again next year.
  Having an evaluation is always a good idea though. It assists you in really taking stock and in seeing your son more clearly and with less partiality.
  As to it running in families; no one in my family had ever been diagnosed. We (6 of us) were unusual in different ways but none of us very "hyper". Read up on the disorder. When my oldest son's first grade teacher first suggested that he might have ADHD I really protested, "He's not hyperactive at all!" But she handed me a book and by the time I was done reading it I had "diagnosed" half my family including myself! It's always good to be a sceptic in these things. Make them prove to you why it is he has ADHD.